Backwards

I stared at him from a distance biting my lower lip. He threw his head back laughing and his friends laughed with him. I grinned at his dazzling facial features. His glistening blue eyes reminded me of an ocean. So full of life and viberentness. His skin was so pale that it almost sparkled. And his smile, that’s was drove me most insane. He’d flash his pearly white teeth and the corners of his mouth would curl upwards. I couldn’t tear my eyes off of him.

“Will you give it up already? Craig doesn’t even know you exist. All you do is stare at the guy from afar.” I shook my head, my eyes still glued on Craig’s striking figure.

“I can’t help it. He’s just so hot. And he’s such a great guy. He’s got this awesome sense of humor and amazing eyes… and nice hair.” I started drooling.

“Jalex! It’s never going happen.” I wiped my mouth and turned to face Marco and glared daggers at him.

“How do you know?” Marco chuckled.

“Dude, he doesn’t even know that you exist.” I bit my lower lip looking back at Craig’s table. Marco is right. I’ve never spoke to Craig before. I mean he’s a senior. We have completely different schedules and we practically live in different hallways!

“You know something Marco? You’re right. The only time I see Craig is during lunch.” Marco nodded taking a sip of his soda. “So I’m gonna make the most of it.” I stood up from my seat and turned towards Craig’s table. “I’m gonna go over and talk to him.” Marco spat out his soda and started coughing.

“Whoa! Whoa! You cannot go over there! Those seniors will eat you alive!” I shrugged pulling on the collar of my jacket.

“Hey. I made it through middle school didn’t I? I think I can take on a couple of seniors.” Marco shook his head rolling his eyes.

“OK big shot.” I cleared my throat then started walking towards Craig. One thing’s for sure I can’t be boring. Seniors are spontaneous teenagers with a lot of experience. All I have to do is sound like I know exactly what I’m talking about. I pulled up a chair then placed it next to Craig. Everyone at the table stared at me in wonder. Question reading in their eyes.

“Are you lost little one?” A red haired guy asked me. His hazel eyes stood out because of the massive amount of eye liner he was wearing and his hair was a burning red that would stand out in any crowd.

“Uh no actually I just came to have lunch with you guys. Thought we could discuss the Twilight series? Ha, who’s seen the movie? Insane right? Wow the guy… sparkles. What’s up with…that?” If eyes could kill I’d be in ashes. The girls giggled and the guy’s had looks on their faces reading What the hell? I looked over at Craig and he was smiling at me with his chin resting in his palm. He shook his head before clearing his throat.

“Wow Uhm. Yeah that’s some serious shit. I’ve always wanted to sparkle when I stepped in the sun.” He and the rest of the seniors laughed and I just stared at Craig’s handsome face.

“You already do…” To my misfortune that comment came out louder then I’d wanted it to. I bit my lower lip balling my fists. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Everyone at the table stared at me fighting back their strong urges to laugh and Craig just stared at me his face expressionless. The corner of his mouth lifted upwards and he nodded his head slightly blushing.

“Wow. I… I think we should go. Check out FYE before 6th period. It was nice having lunch with you…”

“Jalex! My names Jalex.” Craig nodded smiling. He and the rest of the seniors sitting at his table stood up and I stood too. “Mind if I go with?” The whole lot of them laughed, but Craig just stared at me smiling.

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for nap time little one.” The red haired guy deemed. I glared at him shaking my head.

“I’m not little.” Again they laughed and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah. You could come with us.” I looked back at Craig in shock. He had his arms folded across his chest and he was examining me.

“Oh come on Craig seriously?” A girl whined. “What is he, 12?”

“I’m 15. If I was 12 I wouldn’t go to this school.”

“Ha! OK Alex.”

“It’s Jalex!” And again they all laughed in unison. Craig chuckled shaking his head.

“Yeah you probably shouldn’t come. You’d miss a class or two.” Craig said stepping around me. The other’s followed his swift movements and Craig turned to me before leaving and said. “See ya around Jalex.” It took me an all but ten seconds to comprehend what was happening.

“Uh yeah totally. See you around.” Craig flashed another grin my way before him and his heard of ass holes headed out of the cafeteria. I sighed shaking myself off then walked back to Marco who was staring at me in bewilderment.

“Wha- What happened? What did Craig say?” I shrugged staring at the table not really understanding any of this myself.

“He said he’ll see me around. Do you think he meant it?” Marco shrugged smacking my arm.

“Dude! Who cares? You’re totally in! Wait to get yourself noticed. Up top!” I smiled shaking the dazed thoughts from my head and smacked my hand against Marco’s. I am so in.

After lunch Marco and I headed back upstairs to the “freshmen” hallway and towards the science lab. I sat down in my seat with Marco next to me and pulled out my text books.

“So what exactly did Craig say?” I shrugged recalling my move to his senior table.

“Not much really. I sat down and brought up the twilight series and him and the others laughed then he said ‘Yeah that’s some serious shit. I’ve always wanted to sparkle when I stepped into the sun’ and my dumbass went and blabbered out ‘You already do.’” Marco starred at me in awe.

“You said that out loud?” I nodded groaning.

“Yeah. Don’t remind me.”

“Well what did he say after that?” I smiled to myself nodding.

“He grinned. And I could of sworn that he blushed. And with that comment he said they had to go. You know how seniors get a bunch of free period. Well they were going to FYE and I asked if I could go with them and Craig said yes!”

“Craig said yes?”

“Craig said yes. But then his ass hole friends were all ‘Come on he’s like 12. Which makes no sense to infer because a 12 year old wouldn’t even go to this school. And that’s when Craig was like yeah you’re right but see you around.” Marco nodded pulling out his notebook.

“Hmm. That’s cool, but his friends sound like real jerks.” I nodded in agreement and with that, class instruction began.

-X-

My afternoon was slow. Science, then Math, then English last period. I sighed with relief as the dismissal bell sounded and headed to meet up with Marco at our lockers.

“You gonna look for Craig?” I shrugged exchanging my books for my book bag.

“I donno. I mean it’s Friday so most of the seniors leave at around 7th period for the day. I’m not sure if he’s around.”

“Well he is around. Look.” I followed the direction that Marco was pointing in and saw Craig alone at his locker. “Dude now’s your chance. Go talk to him. He’s alone. No ass holes to make you look bad.” I nodded pulling my book bag straps over my shoulders.

“Yeah you’re right.” I hurried over to Craig and he glanced down at me, but continued shoving books into his locker.

“H- Hi Craig. What’s up?” He shrugged closing the door to his locker.

“Nothing much Ninner. About to go home and get ready for a Blood on the Dance Floor concert.” My face lit up and I took a step back.

“No way! Blood on the Dance Floor? I love them. Could I go?” Craig chuckled shaking his head.

“Nah. Sorry. I don’t have any spare tickets and they’re sold out. But maybe next time. I’ll bring you back a T- Shirt.” Craig turned to walk away and I hurried to his side.

“Oh well that’s cool. Did they announce what songs they would be playing in their set?” Craig glanced down at me and half smiled.

“All their newest songs. Like Lose Control and What Dreams are Made of.” I smiled up at him.

“I’ve heard those before. I bought them on iTunes. Lose Control is pure kick ass.” Craig chuckled throwing his head back. I almost lost my footing from being dazed at his princely face. Craig reached out and grabbed my arm and smiled shaking his head.

“I’ll tell you what. Next Thursday there’s a Black Veil Brides concert. You heard of um?” I nodded biting my lower lip. “How about you come with me?” I smiled and almost jumped.

“That sounds great!” Craig grinned

“Here’s the catch. The concert is in Denver.” My jaw dropped.

“Colorado?” Craig nodded.

“Yeah. About an hour and a half drive. The concert is at 1 so we’ll leave at about 11.”

“Thursday?” Craig just smiled at me anticipating my answer to be no. I’ve never skipped school before, but if it means I get to hang out with Craig for the whole day, then sign me up.

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

“Cool. Catch ya later.” I smiled to myself. I have a date with Craig!

I hurried down the hallway and met up with Marco. We walked to Mulberry street then went our separate ways. When I got home I tossed my bookbag down near the coat rack then headed for the steps.

"Hey Munchkin." I stopped at the bottom of the steps and glared at my older sister. "Bring me my laptop will ya?" I huffed continuing up the steps.

"Get it yourself lazy bitch."

"Fuck you squirt. That's why Craig doesn't like you." I grinned turning at the top of the stairs.

"Oh yeah? Is that why he asked me to go with him to the Black Veil Brides concert in Denver on Thursday." Jazz laughed throwing her head back.

"Yeah right. Like he'd actually go with you anywhere." I rolled my eyes and stomped into my bed. Jazz's goal in life is to make me feel bad about myself because her life sucks as is. She dropped out of college three months ago ad has no job. My parents are threatening to kick her out, but she's too ignorant and self centered to listen to them.

I sat down at my computer and logged onto facebook. I checked the recent updates and saw a lot of Craig's friends statuses referring to me. What kind of name is Jalex? one of them read. About seven people liked the status after the four minutes after it's been written. I rolled my eyes and scrolled down. Freshman swear they can do whatever they want now a days. I sighed heavily logging off. I can't read anymore of them. Why are seniors so cruel?

I sauntered over to my bed and laid down on my back starring up at the ceiling. Jalex isn't a stupid name... I was shaken from my thoughts when a teddy bear was thrown on top of me. I groaned sitting up and looked at the door. Jazz was smiling leaning on my door frame holding her laptop.

"Loser." She said a loud. I shook my head and set the teddy bear aside.

"Do you think Jalex is a stupid name?" Jazz starred at me for a moment in confusion, then set down her laptop and walked over to me.

"Of course not. Do you know who's name was Jalex?" I shook my head starring at her. Jazz sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Jalex was dad's name before he changed it. He had to change it because of an accident that happened while he was on the police force. We didn't always live here in Colorado. We used to live in Miami." Jazz patted my head moving a strand of hair from my face.

"Who's making fun of your name?" I shrugged crossing my legs sitting Indian style.

"Some seniors at school." Jazz groaned rolling her eyes.

"Well you tell them I said to shut the fuck up." I half smiled and Jazz got up from beside me and walked to the door.

"Thanks Jazz."

"Yeah yeah, just bring me my laptop next time you little ass." She said leaving my room.

-X-

I walked anxiously down the hallway towards Craig. Three days until the concert and I'm beyond excited. I pulled my book bag on over my shoulder and approached Craig smiling. The hallway was almost empty, I guess people really wanted to get home early today.

"Hi Craig."

"Oh! Hey Jalex." Craig said closing the door to his locker. "What's up?" I rocked back on my heels half smiling.

"Well. I was wondering if you'd wanna sit with me at lunch today?" Craig laughed shaking his head.

"Sorry Jex, but I won't be here for lunch. Me and some friends are going out to eat." I sighed heavily looking down at my shoes.

"Oh. Ok." I turned to walk away, but Craig grabbed my arm chuckling.

"Hold on, hold on." He said still smiling. "How about we hang out after school?" I felt my face light up and nearly jumped off the floor.

"Yeah! Sounds awesome." Craig beamed, then turned away and walked off towards his friends. The one boy with fire red hair smiled at me and waved making baby faces. How immature for someone who's supposed to be calling me the baby.

I trotted into the cafe and joined Marco sliding into his booth. "Guess who's hanging out with Craig after school." I whispered. Marco choked on his meatball and I laughed passing him his water bottle.

"Dude how? How are you getting so high up there?" I dusted my shoulders smiling modestly.

"What can I say? I'm a natural at getting my upper grade crush." Marco shook his head and huffed.

"Yeah. Ok Mr. Twilight. I mean of all the things to bring up?" I chuckled recalling the awkward silence that came after my foolish topic suggestion.

"I panicked."

After lunch, I had three classes before I'd be dismissed. Each class felt like a day and a half! I found myself starring at the clock for full periods longing to be united with Craig. I couldn't help but to be so excited. I was gonna get some alone time with Craig before the concert. Hopefully there won't be any awkward silences. That is most certainly something I do not want.

Finally! The bell rang and the teacher let us leave yelling out the homework assignment as we filed out of the classroom. I hurried through the hallways and towards the main entrance. As i stepped outside I saw Craig chatting with his friends from before. I sighed not wanting to confront him with them near by. I'm still slightly hurt by what they said to me Friday. I made my way over to Craig slowly, it looked like his friends weren't going anywhere.

As I got closer Craig looked up and smiled at me. "Hey Jalex." I smiled waving wanting to speak. His friends all exchanged glances and one girl giggled.

"So we going or what?" The fire haired boy questioned. Craig nodded reaching out to me and tossed an arm over my shoulder.

"Yeah yeah, but I invited Jalex. We're going to the movies to watch Inception." I began to smiled, but then it quickly faded as a girl with blue streaks hidden underneath her black hair spoke.

"What? I don't wanna have to look after some little kid." I shook my head looking down at my shoes.

"Yeah. Isn't his mommy expecting him to be home for nap time?" Said Fire Head. Craig chuckled pulling me closer to.

"Wow you guys are asses. Umm.. I'll be looking after him so you guys don't have to worry. Let's head to the parking lot. Everyone hold hands and no running across the street!" Craig ordered. I frowned not finding his joke to be very funny. His friends all smiled at each other and they linked hands while crossing the street. Craig smiled down at me and reached for my hand and we followed behind his friends. I blushed slightly. His hand is so cold. I smiled to myself just happy to be having Craig's hand in mine.

Everyone filed into two cars. One was Craig and the other was Fire Head's. I sat next to Craig in the passengers seat and three of his friends slid in the back seats.

"Why does Alex get to sit in the front? Doesn't he have to be a certain age or something. The Blue streak girl said pulling the seat belt over her body. I sunk into my seat starring out the window.

"So the bitch that just spoke is Addie. Then that's Jack and Becca." I looked back at them and waved. Becca waved back smiling and Jake huffed rolling his eyes. Becca had straight blond hair that was chopped short and ended right at her shoulders. Jake's hair was spike and had sprinkles of green while the rest was died black. Basically, all of Craig's friends had weird hairstyles. His was the only normal one.

When we got to the mall everyone hoped out of the car and gathered around in a huddle. "Should we see if the mall has a daycare to drop off Alex while we see Inception?" I gritted my teeth. It's Jalex you fucking dick wad.Craig glared at Fire Head.

"That ass hole is Zane. And that's Jackie and Andy." Andy's hair was bleached so blond that it almost look like his hair was white. He had it cut short and going in all different directions. Jackie had long purple extensions and the rest of her hair was a blood red. I think she looked the most insane mixing those two hair colors and to the fact that you could tell a mile away that she had on extensions.

"Seriously though why'd you invite him? He's like... in the way." Addie said putting her hands on her hips giving me a dirty look.

"Could you guys just chill already? Jalex is here so what? He hasn't done anything to you guys so just quit hiking on him.

"Whatever." They all mumbled heading to the mall entrances. Andy purposely bumped into me and as I turned to shove him back Zane pushed me to the ground.

"Whoa what the hell?" Craig said rushing to my side. "He's just a little kid who wants to be friends. Why are you being such a dick?" Zane chuckled throwing his head back.

"This kid wants to be more than friends with his babysitter Craig. He's got a wittle crush." I shook my head standing up.

"Fuck you Zane!" I bellowed. He furrowed his eyes brows and took a step in closer to me, and Becca grabbed his arm.

"Zane let's go." He glared at me then turned around and followed the rest of them into the mall. I shook my head and looked over at Craig. He was starring at his friends frowning and crossed his arms over his chest. Maybe I shouldn't have come...

I turned and started to walk away, and Craig jogged to catch up to me. "Jalex wait!" I slowed my pace, but didn't stop completely.

"I shouldn't have come." I muttered. Craig grabbed my arm and shook his head.

"Ignore them. They're a bunch of jackasses. Want me to drive you home?" I looked up at Craig and saw the sympathy in his eyes. He's just a little kid who wants to be friends... This kid wants to be more than friends with his babysitter Craig. He's got a wittle crush That's all Craig sees me as. Some niner who wants to be friends.

"Craig... I didn't walk up to your table at lunch last Friday to try and be friends." He starred at me in confusion and shook his head.

"Uhhm-"

"I walked up to your table because I like you." Craig starred at me in shock and was about to say something, but I continued speaking. "I think you're a really great guy, and I've had a huge crush on you since the first day of school. My friend Marco pointed out that we live in two different hallways and that the only time I see you is during lunch. So I went up to your table and tried to catch your attention." Craig was silent and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Wow...I'm really flattered, but.. You're a freshman and I'm a senior. I just don't think it'd work out very well." I shook my head. How typical. A senior so wrapped up in protecting their reputation that they won't even give certain things a chance.

"I get it. You got your expectations to live up to with your friends." Craig shook his head.

"No. No that's not what I-"

"Yes it is Craig! Why else would you have laughed along with those jerks you call friends.

"I just defended you and-"

"Yeah sure you did! When they finally pushed me to the ground. Not Friday, not after school. You just laughed and joked along with them. I get it and it's fine." I walked past him and pulled out my ipod.

"Jalex wait! At least let me drive you home!"

"I'll walk!" I pulled on my head phones and set the volume to the max. I just want to block out everything that's going on around me. I hate Craig. And I hate his stupid friends. Why do they have to be such jackasses? What did I ever do to them?

As I was leaving the parking lot a car slowly pulled up next to me. Craig hunked his horn and I shook my head looking straight ahead. He got out of his car and pulled off my head phones.

"Jalex please. Let me give you a ride home. It's way too long of a walk for you."

"What makes you think that? Just because I'm younger than you?"

"It's a long walk for anybody." He reached for my hand and pulled me towards his car. "Please?" I sighed shaking my head and snatched my head phones away from Craig and walked to the passengers side and slammed the door after I slid inside of the car. Craig pulled away from the sidewalk and merged onto the highway. I folded my arms across my chest biting my lip. To say I don't wanna be in this car right now, would be an understatement.

"Look. Jalex... What I meant before-"

"It's ok." I said looking over at him. "I get it. You have a reputation to maintain and I'd ruin it for you if we went out. I totally get it." I trailed off shaking my head and looked out the window.

"It's not... It's not just that. I mean reputations they're... I mean... You're right. I honestly do care about my reputation, but that's not the only reason why we can't be together. In fact, that's not the main reason why we can't be together." I glanced over at Craig in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't think you'd be able to handle being in a relationship with a senior like me." Talk about feeling insulted.

"What exactly are you trying to say?" Craig chuckled shifting over to another lane.

"I'm more for the physical stuff in a relationship. It takes a lot for me to want more out of it. I have to really like a person in order for me to actually go after the emotional stuff too. Like for example, I really do like you Jalex." I starred at Craig wide eyed. Did he just say he likes me?

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I am. Why else would I have invited you with me today and for the concert? I think you're adorable and I like how you go after what you want. I just don't think you'd be ready for the type of relationship that I'm into." Confused? Yes. Happy? In a way. Ready? Maybe.

"How about I prove to you that I'm ready for the kind of relationship you want." Again Craig laughed wiping the tears from his eyes. How is this funny?

"Trust me Jalex. I've done things with guys I'm more than certain you've never done before." I shifted in my seat to face Craig.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't handle it." Craig shook his head grinning.

"You really wanna go out with me don't you?" I nodded leaning in a bit closer. A few minutes of silence passed before Craig spoke again. "I like you a lot Jalex, but I really don't wanna push you into doing something you're not emotionally ready for." I shook my head.

"I'm ready. I am. I'd do anything to be with you Craig and I'm gonna prove it."

"Really Jalex... I don't want-"

"I'm ready, Craig. I am." Craig nodded half smiling and glanced over at me.

"My house?" I nodded smiling then sat back in my seat. The truth is, I am ready. I'm ready to prove to Craig that I want everything he has to offer. I've had this huge crush on him for long enough. It's time to prove that I want him more than anything.

When we got to Craig's house he pulled up into his driveway and I followed him up the walkway and onto his porch. He pulled out his keys and before turning the door knob looked over at me. "Are you sure you wanna...?" I nodded half smiling.

"I'd do anything to be with you..." Craig nodded and opened the door. I glanced around his house. It was a really nice place. The living room had a long couch and recliner next to it, then a coffee table in the center. The kitchen was one that any mother would dream to have. The counter was buffed and the stove was shinning. I half smiled. My mom would kill for a kitchen like that.

I followed Craig upstairs to his room and he closed the door after I'd stepped inside. I set down my book bag and took a look around his room. The walls were painted a dark blue and had a bunch of photo graphs tapped to them. It looks like Craig took them during photography club. I smiled to myself. He's so amazing. My eyes roamed all around his room before landing on his full sized bed. Craig was standing in front of his stereo looking threw some CDs. I walked over to his bed and sat down at the edge.

Craig put in a CD by Escape the Fate. He pulled out his cell phone and set it down on his desk pulling it up to the charger. "I guess you want this more than I do, and I'm only saying that because you're sitting on my bed." Craig said chuckling. I half smiled.

"I do." Craig grinned then turned and walked towards me. He knelt down in front of me and grabbed both my hands.

"About before...with my friends. I shouldn't have let it happen. I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"It's ok." Craig smiled looking down at our hands. God I love his smile. Just the way his lips curve upwards and his eyes almost sparkle. His hair hung over his face. I've always dreamed of doing this. I ran my fingers through Craig's hair. It felt so soft. His smile grew wider and he leaned in and kissed me. The feel of his lips on mine took my breath away. Never have I ever thought that I'd be kissing Craig. I pressed my lips harder against his. I guess he took this as a challenge, cause he pressed his lips harder against mine causing me to fall over on his bed. We both laughed, smiling looking into each others eyes
.
"You sure you can handle this?" Craig asked stroking my cheek and grasping on to my zipper. I've never done this before, but I was ready to try it. I'm crazy about Craig.

"Yeah. Just, go easy on me." Craig grinned before pressing his lips to mine aggressively and crawled on top of me pulling down the zipper on my jeans. Just as I was bout to pull off his shirt he pulled away from me and sat up.

"What's wrong?" I whined. Craig chuckled pulling me close to him hugging me from behind.

"I'm not gonna rush you into this. I think it's adorable how you'd do this just to be with me, but I'm doing this because I wanna be with you. So we'll wait." I sighed rolling my eyes.

"I said I could handle it." Craig smiled pulling up the zipper on my pants.

"Sure you can, but still. I think we should wait." I nodded leaning my head on Craig's shoulder.

"Will you still give me a chance?" Craig nodded kissing my cheek.

"Yeah."

-X-

I stepped out of Craig's car and looked around the parking lot. A few seniors glanced over and then exchanged a look of confusion seeing me step out of Craig's car. I smiled shaking my head. The jealous little fucks. Craig walked over to my side and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we started walking towards the school.

When Craig and I walked down the hallway together heads turned and people's facial expressions read pure bewilderment. I smiled and looked up at Craig. He winked at me grinning. Craig's friends were the most surprised. Zane stepped forward with the most confused expression.

"You're arm is around the Alex because?" I rolled my eyes looking away.

"Jalex is my new boyfriend." Literally, all of their mouths dropped and they all starred at Craig in awe. "If you can't accept Jalex, then you can't accept me. I like Jalex and if you were all my friends you would too." Andy rolled his eyes and Becca smiled.

"Cool with me. It'll be great to have Jalex at our table on days we stay for lunch." I half smiled at her kind statement. First nice thing I've heard from these guys.

"Yeah. Whatever." Addie mumbled. All the guys exchanged glances then Zane stepped up in front of me, and held out his hand.

“If you’re cool with Craig. Then you’re cool with me, Jalex.” He said my name right.I shook his hand smiling.