Keeping You a Secret

I paced up and down the empty, sterile hallway; the only things looking back at me were two metallic double doors. I sighed and turned back around, pacing in the other direction.

The waiting room was slightly busy, a few people littering the dozens of chairs. They milled around silently, not making eye contact with anyone. I stared at Prentiss, who sat in one of the mint-green chairs lining the crisp, white walls. She offered me a sympathetic look, stretching her neck to look down at the doors I had been glaring at for hours.

I let my eyes flick over to the clock, and I could have sworn the minute hand was ticking by more and more slowly. It was rounding eight at night, and Spencer had been in surgery for almost three hours now. I hadn’t gotten one update, nothing to know that he was all right.

I let my body sink into the chair next to Prentiss, my head tilting over to look at her. She stared back at me, that look of sympathy never fading.

Spencer had made such a mistake. What the hell was he thinking?

“You know Reid. He never likes to use violence,” she said softly, gazing off down the corridor again.

I quickly shut my gaping mouth, positive that she was reading my thoughts. I let my body recline further into the chair, my broad shoulders folding against it. Silence fell over us, but when I eyed Prentiss cautiously, I saw a small smile forming on her lips.

The time passed, each minute lagging more than the one before. I let my head rest against the wall, my neck contacting the metal frame of the chair I was sitting in. Nine o’clock rolled around and, still, we were left with nothing.

The longer I waited, the more angsty I became. I willed myself not to start pacing again, instead harshly gripping at the chair, trying to release the tension in my body. I heard the sound of footsteps coming down from the hallway, and I stood up promptly, my eyes meeting the doctor that had stepped through. He was obviously worried, and a sense of sadness showed through his eyes. As he took a few steps closer to me, I looked at Prentiss, who had stood up and made her way over.

“I’m Dr. Johnson, nice to meet you.”

I gripped his hand tightly, and shook it. He let go, and I let my arm drop to my side.

Dr. Johnson sighed, and ran his fingers through his auburn hair, which fell softly against his wearied features. “Dr. Reid has five broken ribs, and his left arm and wrist are also broken. We had to suture a large gash on his forehead. He did have some internal bleeding, but it wasn’t fatal. If he had been brought in later then he would have not made it. We currently have him in a medical induced coma, which he may remain in up to two to four days.”

The doctor glanced at me, but I let my gaze drop to the floor. I bit my lip, sucking in a sharp breath. It couldn’t be this bad; he had to be lying. I felt tears forming at the edge of my eyes, but I rubbed them away hastily, willing myself not to cry. I felt Prentiss’s slender arm wrap around my waist and pull me close to her. She smiled reassuringly; I could see the confidence in her eyes. A tiny smile formed on my lips, and she let her arm go, before squeezing my arms slightly.

“Can we visit him?” I heard her ask, as I looked over at the doctor, a hopeful look in my eyes.

“He’s currently in the ICU, but you both are allowed to visit, seeing how he doesn’t have family present.” Dr. Johnson smiled at Prentiss and turned around to walk down another one of the corridors, motioning us to follow him.

I let my eyes follow the beige tiles that lined the floor, goosebumps rising on my arms as we passed the sign that read: Intensive Care Unit. I shuddered at the thought of seeing Spencer so hurt.

The hospital was dead silent. I could only hear the hushed beeping of the various heart monitors that were placed in all the rooms. I peered inside room after room, noting that some beds lay empty, just waiting for another body to consume them.

We stopped at room four hundred eighteen. The door was shut completely and the blinds were slightly open on the little window that filled the wall next to it. I averted my gaze from the window, trying my hardest not to look inside.

Dr. Johnson silently nudged open the door. The constant sound of another one of the heart monitors resonated throughout the empty room- Spencer’s shallow breathing couldn’t cover it.

I choked back a sob the minute I let my eyes rest on his crumpled figure. The doctor had left the room, leaving only Prentiss and I to wallow in the silence. I couldn’t hold tears back this time. My vision became blurred as I half stumbled towards Spencer’s bed. Prentiss seemed unfazed by the situation, letting that look of pity overcome her face once more.

I never cried like this for anything. Grown men don’t cry, but I was. I ran a thumb tentatively along Spencer’s palm, noting with a tug on my heartstrings that his hand didn’t even flinch.

I could feel another set of tears coming again when I felt Prentiss’s hand lay softly on my back. I didn’t even bother to look up. I let my fingers tightly entwine with Spencer’s for only a moment. I could hardly bear to see him so lifeless. Sure, he was breathing, but there was no life behind it.

My gaze travelled up to his bruised face and to the sterile white bandage that was securely wrapped around his head. Stains of bloody red were forming in patches across the bandage. I looked back down to his bruised torso to another set of bandages wrapped around his lithe frame. The contusions that lined his frail body popped up from his nearly translucent skin. I held his hand more tightly in mine, not caring if Prentiss saw. I let my free hand move a stray lock of hair off his porcelain face; it fell limply next to him, just like he lay here now.

I shuddered out a breath. Prentiss tapped me lightly on the shoulder, forcing me to make eye contact with her. “You really do love him?” she asked, a warm tone to her voice.

“B-but, how’d you know?” I managed to stammer through tears.

Prentiss shrugged and smiled at me warmly. Her phone started ringing, the noisome beep echoing through the room. She squeezed my shoulder tightly before walking out to take the call.

I let go of Spencer’s hand, letting it land gently on the mattress. I walked over to grab the only chair in this room, dragging it over quietly as I tried not to make any sort of disturbance. I set the chair as close as I could to his bed, but didn’t let it get tangled in all the wires and IVs.

The clock on the wall read that it was now past ten o’clock. Outside of the room I could hear Prentiss talking quietly into her cell phone, but other than that it was utterly silent.

I was knocked out of my train of thought when Prentiss popped her head into the room. “I’m gonna go. You staying the night?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I nodded solemnly as she gave me another knowing smile before walking out.

I looked back down at Spencer’s body again, a frown etching across my face. His face had lost all of its color, and the blankets that covered him seemed to swallow his frame whole. I lifted them up higher on his body, since they had been pooled by his waist. I let my finger run along his arm, sighing, and brushed away the last few strands of hair that littered his face. He was as pale as the walls, and the sheets, and pretty much everything else in this damn hospital.

I rubbed at my face, aggravated with it all. He didn’t deserve this, but he should have known better.

I picked up his hand again, and entwined my fingers with his. I just couldn’t stop looking at him, thinking back on everything. How I regretted the last fight we had, all the problems we had, but managed to work through. Even though I knew he couldn’t hear me, even amongst the silence, I managed to whisper out the three words I had never said before.

“I love you.”