Hiding Bruises

Hiding Bruises- Chapter 13- Morning Chit-Chat

I woke up early the next morning (well, I say ‘woke up’ but to do that I would have actually had to have been asleep for a reasonable amount of time, got up is probably more appropriate.) So, I got up and saw that everyone except for Emmeline was still asleep. I sat up, I could hear Emmeline getting ready in the bathroom; she was probably going to go down to breakfast early. I decided I would do the same.

I pulled myself out of bed, rubbing my puffy eyes, and dragged myself over to the bathroom. It was sparkling clean, probably because of Molly and Lily, who were both obsessive cleaners. Both their beds were always immaculate, unlike Marlene’s who had clothes thrown all over hers. Alice wasn’t untidy, in fact she spent quite a lot of time tidying, but she was so clumsy that she would normally trip over the pile of clothes she had just spent half and hour carefully sorting out and stacking. Emmeline and me simply didn’t move much around, apart from clothes and other essential items, so our beds were pretty tidy.

My mum always used to tell me that you could tell what a woman was like by looking at her dressing table and I couldn’t help thinking, as I was looking at Lily’s makeup, that she was right. I wasn’t really sure how Lily ordered her make-up, maybe by the order she put them on? Or by colour? I stood there for a minute staring down at Lily’s make-up when Emmeline came out of the bathroom, brushing her hair.

She looked surprised to see me, “You look like you’re concentrating very hard there.”

I laughed embarrassedly and blushed, “I was trying to work out how Lily’s make-up was arranged.” I admitted to her.

She nodded her head in realization and came over to me, “look,” she said, pointing down at them, “It’s quite simple once you know how it’s done. The row going across is the order she puts them on, and then these columns are darkest shade at the top and lightest at the bottom.”

“Arrhhh,” I said, still unsure, she looked over my confused face. I glanced over at her and we both burst out laughing.

She stopped and smiled broadly at me, her face lighting up as she did so, “it’s mad, I know, but then that’s Lily for you.”

“How do you know all that?” I asked.

She shrugged, “Once I borrowed her eye shadow and put it back in the wrong place, she taught me how it was done then.”

I laughed again, and she went over and put her hairbrush on her bedside table, “I’m going down to breakfast,” she told me.

“Ok,” I said, “see you in a bit.”

“Yeah,” she said, and walked over to the door. We smiled at each other companionably, and then she was gone.

I got dressed quickly, and checked my reflection in my small, hand-held mirror. I looked a mess, my hair was all tangled and there were huge bags under my eyes. I picked up my hairbrush and brushed it until it lay shining on my shoulders. There was nothing I could do with the rest though, I sighed and put my brush and mirror back down on my otherwise empty dressing table.

**********

I walked into the dining hall, which was practically empty apart for a few small gaggles of students scattered around the hall. I walked over to the Gryffindor table where there were two groups of students. One, about halfway down, was made up of 1st years that obviously wanted to get all the good food before it was gone. They hadn’t been here long enough to know that the house elves cooked copious amounts of everything and that no food would ever ‘run out’ at Hogwarts.

Normally I would have sat down at the end on my own, but as I was about to do so, someone called to me from the other end of the table: Emmeline. I walked over there, and saw that she was sitting with James, Sirius and Remus. I sat down beside them, feeling awkward.

The marauders don’t seem to know the meaning of the word awkward, “Hi Tina!” said Sirius, grinning all over.

I smiled back at him, shyly, “Hi Sirius.”

“Oi,” said James, banging into his friend on top of the head, “quit drooling will you, padfoot?”

Sirius pulled an indignant face and said, “I was not drooling” whilst rubbing the top of his head.

“Were too” said James.

“Was not!” answered Sirius, looking thoroughly annoyed now.

“Were!” James stuck his tongue out at Sirius.

“Wasn’t!”

“Were!”

“No, I wasn’t!” Sirius bashed James over the head, “stop being so bloody childish.”

“I wasn’t!” exclaimed James, rubbing his head in pain.

“Yes you were.”

“No, I wasn’t!”

“Were!”

“I wasn’t! How was I?”

“By going ‘were, were, were’.” Sirius adopted a high-pitched girly voice when copying James’ words.

“You were the one having a little tantrum, ‘wasn’t, wasn’t, wasn’t’!” James used a similarly high voice when imitating Sirius.

“I do not sound like that!” Sirius bellowed.

“Well, neither do I!”

“Yes you do!”

“No I don’t!”

“Do!”

“Don’t!”

“Do!”

Remus chuckled at his friends and looked across the table at Emmeline and me, “Sorry about this,” he said, “but it could go on for a while…”

“It’s fine, we don’t mind,” Emmeline grinned at him.

Remus grinned back at her, then looked at me, “You’ll get used to them.” He said kindly, as I was looking rather shocked.

“After a while,” said Emmeline, giggling.

“They’re not that bad…” I said unsurely, we all looked over at Sirius and James who were now arguing over whether or not James would look good with bright pink pigtails.

Me, Emmeline and Remus looked at each other, trying not to laugh. Emmeline was the first to give up, me and Remus followed soon after.

Sirius and James looked over at us, both looking very annoyed, “and what are you laughing at?” James asked us.

Emmeline was the first to compose her self. “Your maturity,” she answered, sticking her out at him.

James made a face at her, “Hilarious,” he said dryly.

“Don’t mind him, he ain’t had his morning coffee yet,” Sirius said, and winked at me and Emmeline.

“What you guys up to today?” Emmeline asked, “Got anything good planned?”

“That would be telling,” said Sirius slyly.

Emmeline raised her eyebrows at him, “come on, spill” She ordered.

“Can’t Ems,” said James, as he reached over to grab a cup of coffee, “It wouldn’t be a surprise if we did.”

“Aww, you’ve always told me stuff before,” Emmeline looked annoyed, “I’ve never told anyone!”

“They’re joking, Ems,” said Remus, “calm down.”

At this moment Peter plonked himself down beside James, “who needs to calm down?” he asked.

“Em” said Sirius.

“No, I don’t” she protested.

“Yes you do,” replied Sirius sneakily.

“No, I don’t,” Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but Emmenline stopped him, “and do not start that all over again Sirius, unlike you, I am not a six year old.”

“Whatever,” said Sirius, still grinning broadly.

Everyone was silent for a moment and then James looked at me, “So, Tina,” he said, “tell us a bit about your self?”

I looked confused, but Emmeline groaned, “Do not answer him.” She warned me, “He did it to me when I first started hanging out with these guys, it’s like twenty questions.”

I laughed nervously, I don’t like talking about myself, “When was that?” I asked, as the question came into my head.

“Huh?”

“Sorry, when did you first start hanging out with this lot?”

“Ohh,” said Emmeline, understanding what I was trying to ask, “in about 4th year.” She answered.

“She’s our spy!” exclaimed Peter, excitedly, wanting to be included in the conversation.

James rolled his eyes at Peter.

“What?” I asked confused.

“She goes under cover and collects information on what’s going on with the girls for us!” said Sirius, mimicking Peter’s excitement. James laughed at him. “I don’t know why you’re laughing,” said Sirius, “she only does it to tell you stuff about Lily.”

“No, she doesn’t,” James paused for a second, “she’s our friend as well!”

Emmeline laughed and poked him, “I should think so.”

I laughed along with the rest at them, and reached out to get a piece of toast. Sirius did at the same time, and for a second, our hands touched. I looked up at him, and smiled shyly. He smiled back at me.

I took a piece of toast and stared down at it, concentrating way harder then usual on spreading the butter across its surface evenly.

“It’s new year in a few days” said Remus.

“Are you guys having a party?” Emmeline asked.

“Em,” said James disapprovingly, “if you knew us at all, you wouldn’t even have to ask.”

“It’s going to be so good,” said Peter, “way better then last year!”

“In the usual room?” asked Em.

“Yeah,” said Sirius.

“It’s weird,” said Emmeline, “but I tried to find it before but couldn’t. It’s like it disappeared.” The boys all glanced at each other guiltily, as if one of their secrets had been uncovered, which perhaps it had. Emmeline’s eyes narrowed, “why do you guys never let me in on your secrets?”

“Umm,” said James, looking uncomfortable.

“I’ll tell you Em,” said Remus, Sirius head shot round, “come on guys I think she deserves to know!” Emmeline’s eyes softened as Remus spoke up in her defence.

“Where is this classroom again?” I asked suddenly, as I remembered something.

“Third floor,” said Sirius, eyeing me warily, “near the picture of that guy teaching ogres to dance or something.”

My eyes widened, “Oh.” I said.

“What?” asked James, alert now.

“Nothing,” I said, but no one believed me, they just all kept staring, I blushed bright red, “It’s just that, like, I know a room around there, that’s sort of hard to find, sort of, if you don’t know what you’re looking for, that is.” Oh god, I was babbling.

“How do you know about it?” asked Sirius, surveying me curiously.

I go there when I need to cry without being heard, or when I need medical supplies I don’t have with me. I shrugged, “just found it once, by accident.” Well, that was true; I had found the room of requirement once in 3rd year, when I was running backwards and forwards along that corridor, trying to find an open classroom to hide from Bella in.

“What is it?” asked Emmeline; annoyed she was the only one who didn’t know.

“The room of requirement,” said Remus.

“What?” asked Emmeline, confused.

“If you walk past that picture, 3 times, thinking of something then a room appears to fit your need,” Emmeline looked confused, “we think ‘we need a room for the new year party where we won’t be found by teachers’ 3 times and a door appears.”

Emmeline’s eyes widened in astonishment, “wow, how come no one else knows about it?”

“We found it when we were running away from filch one time, we didn’t tell anyone and,” here Sirius’ eyes flicked over to me, “we didn’t think anyone but us knew about it.”

“Have you ever told anyone?” Peter asked me.

I shook my head, who did I have that I would tell?

“Are you sure?” Peter’s eyes narrowed with mistrust.

“Shut up Peter,” Sirius told him, looking annoyed, “we don’t own it you know.”

“It’s our secret room though,” Peter argued, “where we go to do stuff.”

“Wow,” said Sirius, “you really made us sound so gay just then Peter, well done.”

Peter didn’t look satisfied but he wasn’t going to pick an argument with Sirius, not without someone else to back him up anyway.

Everyone was silent for a bit and I ate my toast slowly, chewing each bite, concentrating extremely hard on not looking up at Sirius (who, I was 97.5% sure was, staring at me.)

“Will Lily come to the party?” James asked eagerly.

“Probably” said Emmeline unsurely, not wanting to encourage James too much, his face lit up anyway. She saw his expression and said warningly, “but don’t try to get her under some mistletoe.”

James looked offended, “what makes you think I will do that?”

Emmeline rolled her eyes, “because you have done every other year.”

Sirius chuckled and James pouted, “but I can tell that this year she really really wants me to.”

“No James,” said Emmeline, “she doesn’t.”

James nodded emphatically, “she does, she does, because I saw her nearly smile at me last night. When she was asking about Tina.”

I looked up at the mention of my name, surprised, “she was asking about me?”

“Yeah, she wanted to know where you were,” James said, “Sirius told her about your fall.”

Oh shit.

“How come you didn’t tell us about that Tina?” asked Emmeline, suddenly looking concerned now that she had been reminded of my ‘fall’.

I shrugged, turning slightly red and staring down at my now empty plate, “didn’t want to worry you, it was nothing really.” Sirius opened his mouth to say something but I cut across him, “Madam Pomfrey’s sorted it out now anyway,” I said, pleading to Sirius with my eyes not to carry on the discussion.

“So,” he said to Emmeline, she turned to look at him, “did Lily smile at James? Does she like him?” Emmeline’s eyes narrowed when she realized Sirius was changing the subject, they momentarily flicked to me. James was gagging to know the answer to Sirius’ question, so she sighed and answered.

“Maybe she did, but it really doesn’t make much difference, she still won’t want you to throw yourself on her,” she may have realized she was being a bit harsh so she added, “if she is starting to like you, it won’t help. Trust me on this James.”

“I do trust you Em,” said James, looking thoroughly deflated.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lily, Molly and Alice walking into the great hall, I nudged Emmeline and tilted my head in their direction. “Sorry lads,” said Emmeline, pulling me up, “we have to go, don’t want to blow our cover.”

They all looked up to see what she meant, “Bye then,” said James, still not looking his best.

“See you,” said Remus.

“Goodbye fair maidens, I guess our morning chit-chat session has sadly come to an end,” said Sirius, blowing us each a kiss.

I giggled and blushed, “Bye Sirius,” I said, “James, Remus, Peter.” I inclined by head at each of them.

“See you Remus,” said Emmeline, “James, Sirius, Peter.”

Peter looked up from his scrambled egg and beans when we said his name, “Bye,” he said. His mouth was still full of egg and he sprayed James as he spoke.

“Urrrhh, that’s disgusting Peter!” yelled James, wiping himself down, as Sirius guffawed.

Peter swallowed what was left in his mouth, “Sorry James,” we heard him mumble as we walked away.

“I didn’t know you were friends with all of them,” I told Emmeline quietly as we walked away.

She shrugged, “Not many people do, it would be pointless trying to explain it to Lily. So we just keep it quiet, they’re really nice guys though, once you get to know them.”

“Yeah, they seem like it,” I said, almost to myself. Emmeline glanced at me in a knowing sort of way, “What?” I asked. She just shook her head and smiled to herself.

“I think you know,” she said. I blushed but didn’t reply.

“Hey Lily,” I said, as we neared them, more pleased then usual to see them.

“Hi!” She replied cheerily, we sat down at the table. “Are you better?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I’m feeling fine thanks.”

“How come you didn’t tell us you fell down some stairs?” asked Lily, looking hurt that I would confide in Sirius but not her.

I shrugged, “didn’t want to worry you.” I said.

“Well that’s stupid,” exclaimed Molly from Lily’s left, “Lily worries about everyone anyway.”

I laughed and Lily looked annoyed. “I don’t.”

“Yes you do,” said Molly.

Emmeline and me looked at each other, and I could tell we were both thinking about how similarly the two girls were acting to how James and Sirius were before. I giggled, immediately regretting it when Lily’s head swung round to look at me. “What?” she asked me.

“Nothing,” I replied looking down, no one in their right mind would tell Lily she reminded them of James.

Lily’s eyes narrowed and she looked from me to Emmeline suspiciously, “I meant to ask you, but I got sidetracked,” here she glared at Molly. “Was that Sirius, Remus and Peter I saw you sitting with when we came in?” She purposely didn’t mention James’ name.

“Umm, well,” Emmeline stuttered.

“We came down early for breakfast and it was either sit with them or the Slytherins, so…” I shrugged. Emmeline sighed. “Is that Ok with you?” I asked Lily innocently, I knew how much she hated to nag or boss people around.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she said unwillingly.

“They’re throwing another new years eve party this year,” said Emmeline.

“Ohh,” said Alice, sipping on a cup of steaming hot tea, “are we going?”

Her question was mainly addressed to Lily who looked unsure, “I don’t want him to try and kiss me again, like before.”

“You never know, he might not this year,” said Molly.

“Yeah,” chimed in Alice, “he might decide to give up, it could be his new year’s resolution! Not to talk to you or ask you out again.”

Lily looked slightly upset but only for a second, “I wish.” She said.

Just then Marlene came into the slowly filling up hall and sat beside us, “What are you guys talking about?” She inquired, looking bored.

“The new years party James and Sirius are throwing,” said Molly.

“and Remus,” said Emmeline, suddenly I noticed her blush bright red, “and Peter helps aswell, they all help a bit.” She said quickly.

“Great,” said Marlene, reaching for some food.

“So, are we going or not?” asked Molly.

Lily shrugged moodily.

Just then I noticed the boys getting up from the other end of the table, James started walking in our direction in a very determined way. The others followed after him, Sirius looking amused, Remus slightly exasperated and Peter, well looking like Peter.

“Incoming,” said Molly. Lily automatically turned to look, then purposely stared in the opposite direction and started playing with her hair.

Marlene rolled her eyes and turned to stare at the approaching boys, “Hello fellas, what can we do for you?” she asked, raising one eyebrow at them.

James stopped about a meter away from where I was sitting, “Hey Marlene, Molly, Alice, Tina, Emmeline” we all smiled at him. “Hello Lily,” he said hopefully.

She simply glanced over at him, gave him a very calculating look, said, “Hello James,” and looked away.

James quite upset and stared at Lily like a pining puppy.

Sirius obviously realised that his friend was out of the loop for a while, “we were wondering if you could help us out a bit.”

“And how can we do that?” asked Marlene.

“By doing the decorating for the new years party,” answered Sirius, grinning.

“Why would we do that?” asked Alice calmly.

“Out of the kindness of your beautiful hearts,” said Sirius, stunning her with one of his trademark smiles. I giggled and he glanced over at me, he smiled and I grinned back before staring down at my lap embarrassedly.

Marlene glanced between us and looked at the ceiling, “well, I think I’ll let Lily decide.” She looked over at Lily, “Lils?” she asked, “What do ya say?”

We all turned to look at Lily (apart from James, obviously, who had already been staring at her throughout the entire conversation.) “Well,” said Lily slowly, “I suppose we could help you out,” she turned to look at James warningly, “but only for the good of everyone else. I swear, the decorations you put up last year were hideous, and what was with all the mistletoe?”

Sirius shrugged, “it’s to get a girl under, ayy James?” he laughed.

“Urgh, shut up,” said Marlene, “you’re so predictable Sirius.”

Sirius put his hands up, “hey, calm it. It wasn’t for me anyway, I don’t need any of that naff stuff to get a girl to snog me.” He glanced over a James, then Lily, then me and then he turned bright red. “We best be going then lads, don’t want to outstay our welcome, do we?”

“But,” said James weakly, still staring at Lily, who was playing with a paper napkin, turning it into a flower. Sirius grabbed him and walked away, Peter followed them.

“See you then,” said Remus.

“Bye” we all said in unison.

Remus glance around at all of us, and I noticed that his gaze staying on Emmeline a second longer then any others. She smiled warmly at him, and continued smiling at his back whilst he walked away quickly, trying to catch up with his friends.

“Well, why the hell did you agree to that?” asked Marlene. Lily shrugged. “He’ll just be trying to get with you the whole time,” Lily didn’t say anything. “Is that what you want?” asked Marlene, he eyes becoming sharper, “it is isn’t it Lily? It is isn’t it?”

Lily stared down at the table, “shut up Marlene.”

“Arrh, god you’re unbelievable, act all coy and stuff, like you want him to leave you alone. But you love it really don’t you? All the attention?”

“Shut up Marlene,” said Alice, she looked just as surprised as the rest of us after she’d said it.

“Oh, shut up yourself!” said Marlene, her voice starting to rise, “just cause you’re so in love with the only idiot who will have you.”

“He’s not an idiot!” Alice said, looking hurt.

Marlene laughed, “quite pouting Alice and his last name is longbottom! Longbottom! Come on!”

“Shut up!” shouted Alice.

“You know what, I hope you’re very happy together. Mr and Mrs Longbottom, you’ll make a lovely couple, you’re both as stupid as each other!”

“Leave her alone Marlene! What the fuck is this all about?” Lily jumped up just as Alice slumped back down into her chair.

“What is all what about?” Marlene snarled.

“All this? Saying that horrible stuff to Alice,” Lily motioned to Alice’s now empty seat, she looked at the exit and saw Alice running out.

“I’ll go,” said Molly, and ran out after Alice.

I glanced over at Emmeline, she gulped.

“See what you’ve done now,” said Lily, glaring at Marlene.

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t be perfect like you,” snapped Marlene.

“Is that what this is about, are you jealous of Lily?” Marlene and Lily looked around to see who had spoken, it was me. I gulped.

“Who the hell do you think you are? No on even knew who you are till we did some stupid little makeover on you, I don’t see why you didn’t even look nice, I don’t see why he-” Marlene stopped dead when she realised what she’d said.

“Is that it, are you jealous of Tina?” Emmeline asked.

Marlene swirled round, “don’t even get me started on you.” She spat before turning on her heel and stalking away.

“What was that about?” asked Emmeline, once she was out of ear shot.

Lily shrugged, looking embarrassed, “well, she likes you-know-who…”

“Who?” I asked, confused.

“Sirius.”

“Ahhh,” said Emmeline, glancing over at me in a knowing way.

“What?” I asked, looking between the two of them, “What was that ‘Ahhh’ for?”

“Well, she doesn’t like being overlooked,” said Lily slowly, “She doesn’t like being rejected.”

“Sirius rejected her?” I asked, butterflies starting in my stomach.

“Well, he didn’t need to, it’s obvious he doesn’t like her,” said Emmeline quietly.

“He likes you,” said Lily.

“No he doesn’t,” I said shaking my head.

“He does, it’s really obvious,” said Emmeline, watching me carefully.

“And you like him too,” said Lily.

“Don’t be stupid,” I said, “Nothing’s going on, it can’t, it never can. He can’t like me.”

“Tina, what’s wrong?” asked Emmeline.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I said, and hurried away, they didn’t follow me.

I’m stupid. Do you want to know why? Because in all the fun, carefree morning chit-chat I had forgotten one very important thing; my life is full of shit and stupidness and nothing is ever a simple happily-ever-after. But I guess that’s just the way things are, I don’t let it get to me. I go on, enjoying the good bits, trying to forget the bad. But most of the time I just run in circles for that bitch Bella. So I can’t let anything happen with me and Sirius, because it will end badly for everyone involved. Marlene can have him, I hope she takes him, it would make it so much easier if he would just like her.