A Beautiful Moment Amongst The Rain

I couldn't believe how it all worked out for me. Nothing in my life ever went well, never. I was always too nice, or too mean, or too self conscious. But this time around, I was just right. I don't know why, but for some reason, I felt like I had known you all my life, longer than Lizzie even.

We went to Johnny Rockets, one of my favorite places to eat. I liked it because it had a 1960's feel to it. It had an old school jukebox, with the servers in poodle skirts and period attire. They'd also dance for you during certain songs! The place looked like an old malt shop from days past.

"I figured you'd like a place like this," you said as we walked into the joint.

We were holding hands, not really caring if anyone said or thought anything. It was our time together, no one elses.

"What made you come to that conclusion?" I asked.

"Everyone loves Johnny Rockets!"

This was true, a lot of us hung out here on weekends or after school. I hadn't been to this place in a while though, and it was nice to revisit it with you. We were shown to our seats, and it wasn't long before a young man came to wait on us.

"Hey, how you ladies doing today?"

"We're good thanks!" I said, speaking for us.

"Good to hear, well my name is Josh, and I'll be taking care of you today. Can I start you off with something to drink?" the tall thin man asked.

I ordered a root beer float, you ordered a simple orange cream soda. While we waited for our drinks, we looked over the menu. It wasn't until then, did I realize something. What if someone from our school was there, in that very resteraunt with us? But I calmed down after a little rationalizing, what were the chances?

"Tabbie? Tabbie is that you?"

I froze in my seat, my fears were true after all. I didn't want to move or turn around, I was afraid that doing that would only confirm the strangers suspicions. You were calm though, having not even heard the stranger call out my name. Maybe I could play it off as if I hadn't heard them, or that I wasn't who they were looking for.

Too late though, a thin preppy looking blond came running up to our table.

"Oh my God, Tabbie! What are you doing here?" the girl asked excitedly.

I faked a smile for her, "Not much, just out grabbing a bite to eat. How bout you Veronica?"

Veronica Chilter, an acquantance of mine. I never mentioned her before because she wasn't important enough of a person to know about. She claims we are friends, but it's a lie. We have never hung out after school or even outside of school. I personally didn't like her. i was only nice to her for the sake of being nice.

"Oh well, you know me, out with the boys and girls! So who's your friend here?" she asked, getting nosey.

"Oh, this is-."

"I'm her girlfriend, Andrea, pleased to meet you," you said, interrupting me.

I wasn't sure if you had said that because you didn't care what people thought of us, or if you were trying to shut this girl down. But she gave us a look of disgust and walked away. You only smirked while I felt myself running circles inside.

And that was where things got wierd for us. You had no problems letting others know of your sexual orientation. I did though, this was a whole new thing to me, and it was something that you had been living with for who knows for how long. I had no idea how many girlfriends you have had in the past, and that started to worry me. I'm a jealous person when it comes to relationships, and now it was starting to surface all of a sudden.

I didn't want everyone knowing that I was bi, I didn't want word getting out and ruining my reputation. If it got out, girls would despise me, guys would want to jump me, my parents would learn of it surely. Then what? I couldn't show my face at school or anywhere. All of these horrifying thoughts began to drown me. You saw something was wrong and asked.

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all. I'm fine," I said as calmly as possible.

Our drinks were brought to us, but we weren't ready to order yet. Josh smiled and told us to take our time. As you looked over the menu, my mind started to wander again. How many girls had you been with? Did you sleep with any of them? Were you in love with any of them? Was I just another girlfriend to you, nothing special? It was eating me up inside, so I had to ask.

"Andrea? Can I ask you something personal?"

You nodded, setting down the menu to give me your undivided attention.

"Uhm..I've been wondering, and not that it's a big deal or anything...but....how many girlfriends have you had?"

It wasn't an easy question to ask, but I felt I had a right to know. I wanted to know if I was something special, or just another booty call.

"I've had two girlfriends, not including you. They were a long time ago though, back when I was in Catholic school. Why?" you replied calmly, as if it wasn't a big deal.

Two sounded much better than ten, but it still made me a little jealous. Jealous to know that these feelings I had, I was alone with them. That you had already experienced the joy and rapture of finding a new love and passion in women. I don't know, I sort of felt like you had gotten a head start on me and I was left behind.

"Nothing, just curious is all. It's no big deal," I said again, looking at my drink and playing with the straw.

"Is everything okay? They didn't mean anything," you said, touching my fidgeting hand with your own.

"Not even the first one?" I asked, not looking at you.

You sighed and retracted your hand, "Look Tabbie, it was a long time ago, in a different county, far far away. I dont' talk to them anymore, and it was sloppy at best."

"Sloppy?" I asked, not liking how it sounded.

"Yeah, as in we had no idea what were doing or feeling. But with you, I know this is right, and I know you are who I want to be with. The other two were experiments really, but you're the real deal honey."

I know you were trying to make me feel better, and I honestly believed you. But to hear that those first two were only experiments for you, that made me feel like I was just a trial and error myself.

I happened to look over at Veronica's table, where her and her friends were conversing. She pointed in our direction, said something, and the table had looks of disgust and shock. Was being a bi-sexual such a bad thing? If you hadn't mentioned our relationship, no one would have been the wiser.

"So, have you decided what you want yet?" you asked, trying to change the conversation.

"Yeah, I think I'm just gonna play it safe with the cheeseburger, how about you?"

We played along nicely, although the last conversation was still fresh in our minds, we tried to go about things as if nothing was wrong. I wouldn't have admitted it to you, but I was already starting to have doubts about being bi-sexual. Sure, it was who I was, and I liked it. But if being bi-sexual meant that evey person in the room would hate me, hate us, I didn't know if I could go through life like that.

I was so used to being liked and cherished, not hated and despised like a plague. Now that Veronica and her friends knew about us, the entire school would know by Monday morning. I wanted to get up and leave with you, to find someplace private and not so local.

"Do you..wanna go somewhere else?" you asked, looking at me.

"No, no this is fine, really," I said, sounding unconvincing.

You gave me that knowing smirk, that you knew what I was thinking and feeling.

"Are you worried about them over there?" you asked, cocking your head in Veronica's direction.

I shook my head, "No, not at all."

"Tabbie, you can't fool me. We may not have been dating for that long, but I know a lie when I hear one. Do you want to go somewhere else, seriously?"

I felt so tiny and small at that table, as if the spotlight was on me. That this was all my fault, that I was ruining our first date. I didn't want to answer you.

"C'mon sweetie, let's go somewhere else huh?" you said gently, grabbing my hand as you rose to your feet.

I didn't want to stand up, too afraid that it would draw attention back to us. But you got me out of my seat anyway. We ran into our waiter and apologized for us leaving, but you tipped him anyway and thanked him. He was really cool about it.

As we left, I shot a glance over at Veronica's table. The entire table was staring at us, looks of disgust were still painted on their faces. I didn't get it, it wasn't like we were ugly bull dykes or butches. We were two relatively attractive girls, so why were they so disgusted?

I had never had to worry about racism or prejudice. It was a whole new feeling for me and I didn't like it one bit. It made me feel that being me was wrong, that what I was was the worst thing anyone could be. I have no idea if you were comfortable with it, being used to it or something. But if it did bother you, you never showed it.

I admired you for that, your strength, your indifference to others opinions and thoughts about us. I suppose, I felt safe and secure with you, knowing that nothing could get to you. If anyone said or did anything to offend us, you'd always be the first to defend us. You'd either say something to them that would instantly get them to shut up, or you'd threaten them with an ass beating. You made being bi bearable.