A Beautiful Moment Amongst The Rain

Where and when do you draw the line between friends and lovers? Should you even nip it in the bud before it becomes something so much more? I never wanted that with you, not once. I was willing to be whatever you wanted me to be, just as long as we were together.

And you didn't exploit that, you didn't make me into any sort of subordinate or sidekick to you. You treated me like a woman, like a friend, and like a lover. You made it okay to be sensitive, vulnerable, and ultimately human. That first moment with you that day, it changed me some way or another. Whether it was a new reason to smile, a sense of purpose to look extra nice for you at school, to even examine myself as well as other girls, to see what it was you liked and didn't like. I wanted to be perfect for you, and I wasn't. But you were okay with that, you made me feel more like a woman than any boy or man could have made me feel.

After you left to go to your class, the nurse cleaned me up and called my parents. It was a serious enough injury for me to go to the doctors office. I couldn't remember if I had a tetanus shot recently, so my mom came to the school and picked me up. We went to the doctor's office for a shot record evaluation. No, my tetanus shot wasn't current, so I had to get one in the left arm.

My mother wanted me to come home for the rest of the day, but I refused. I still had at least two periods left before the end of the school day. I told her I wanted to talk to Lizzie about my day, but it was a lie. I really just wanted to see you again. I wanted to magically bump into you in the hallways, and get that crazy feeling all over again. Just the thought of it was exciting me. My mother noticed and asked about it.

"You seem awfully cheery and happy for getting a tetanus shot!" she said with a smile as she looked over at me during our drive back to the school.

I smiled knowingly, "Oh nothing, just got someone on my mind is all."

My mother took this to mean a boy, so she broadened her smile, "A boy? Who is it?"

My smile was turned off that moment, having now realized that I had put myself in a compromising situation with my mother. I wasn't a lesbian, but I felt that if I told her the details of my rapture, she'd label me as one. So I had to lie about us.

"Yeah, a cute boy in class. He seems to really like me, and I like him," I lied with an even faker smile.

My mother went on about her dating experiences back in her day, how she met my father, how waiting to have sex was a good plan to have. I zoned out on her, thinking about you.

A traffic jam caused my late arrival back to school. I had missed my second to last class, now having my last period class of Algebra waiting for me. Lizzie had this class with me, and as happy as I was to be able to socialize with her again, I dreaded having to hear her questions.

"What happened?" she asked me as I took a seat next to her.

We shared most of our classes together, being the same grade and ability group. But for once, I wished we didn't this class. It would be too complex to explain the details, so I decided to trim it down to the basic story.

"I thought I saw someone I knew, and I ended up falling and hurting myself bad enough to need a tetanus shot."

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Lizzie asked, a concerned frown on her face.

I nodded, "Yeah, I just needed to get a tetanus shot at the doctors. Now I'm here. I missed the history test didn't I?"

Lizzie nodded, "I'm afraid so toots. But he's holding make up tests tomorrow after school, so if you wanted to do that, it's there."

I sighed to myself, overjoyed that she didn't ask about you or anything relating to my injury.

"So who was that girl who walked you to the nurses office?"

I paused in my thoughts, "Excuse me?"

Lizzie continued as she opened her textbook casually, her eyes looking at the pages in front of her. My silence didn't help the situation, as she slowly brought he gaze back to my eyes, staring at me intently.

"Uhm..no one did. I walked by myself," I lied.

Lizzie smirked, "Hmm..that's odd. Cause Chelsea Mathers said she saw you and some other chick walking off together."

That annoyed me for different reasons. Everyone here was a gossiper and a nosy person. They got into every ones business, made assumptions, and spread it around like the clap! Not that this was any of Lizzie's business, but who was she to be my keeper?

This frustration came out with unashamed confidence as I answered her question.

"It was Andrea. She saw me get hurt and offered to walk me to the nurses office. That's all."

Lizzie rolled her eyes at me, an annoying habit of hers. Her dark eyeliner only accentuated the rude gesture even more.

"Okay, fine. Seems kinda convenient and all don't you think?" she shot back at me as she turned the page of her textbook.

"What does it matter?! She helped me out, that is all. Why do you care?!" I asked angrily.

Lizzie narrowed her eyes at me, "Why?! Because I don't like Andrea. I don't like her attitude, I don't like the way she carries herself. She's no good, and I think that if you become friends with her, you'll make some really bad changes and choices."

I shook my head at her, "It's my choice though, I decide who is and who isn't my friend, no one else! You don't even know her, and you're making these ignorant assumptions and judgments!"

"Like you know her life any better than me?!" Lizzie hissed, lowering her tone as the teacher walked by their desks.

I was grateful that we both sat in the back of the class, that way we could converse without being heard by the teacher.

"I know more about her from today, than you have all year! Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?!" I replied in an equally hushed tone.

"Because, I care a lot about you, and I don't like seeing those who I care about, getting set up for a failure or getting hurt!" Lizzie said, using her index finger to accent her points.

"Well look at you! Some people might look at you with your dyed hair, green contacts, piercings and henna tattoos, and think you're a horrible person!" I argued, pointing at her with my own finger.

"But I'm not a horrible person!" she protested.

"I know! And that is because I know you, and you gave me a chance to get to know you! So why can't I do that with another person?! What is so wrong about wanting to be friends with someone who was nice to me?!"

Lizzie frowned, but she nodded her head in understanding, "Alright alright. You made your point, and you're right okay? But seriously, you guys are just gonna be friends right? Like she isn't going to change you as a person right?! I still get to hang out with you and all?"

I nodded, "Yes, of course! You're my best friend, and nothing will change that! No way, no how, no one!"

Lizzie smiled at me, she looked like she was on the verge of crying. She leaned over and gave me a warm hug. I was expecting her to release the embrace, but she held on close and tight. I smiled and gave her back a reassuring pat.

"Excuse me ladies, but if you're done with the cuddle fest, could you please pay attention to what is on the board?" the teacher said from the front of the classroom.

Lizzie and I giggled to each other, getting our heads back into the books.
I looked at Lizzie one last time before we hunkered down with the lesson, getting her attention.

She smiled as she whispered, "I love you, best friends forever?"

I nodded with my own smile, "Love you too, best friends forever."

That was how she and I would end our arguments and debates. Smiles, hugs, and endearments. It was all in fun and friendship. Like sisters really. I saw Lizzie as my sister just as much as a friend. That was where I drew the line with her.

But with you, I wanted to be friends, I wanted to be yours. I didn't want us to become sister material, or just friends. I wanted you to love me just as much I loved you. But where do you draw the line with someone who means the world to you? Can you draw the line, should you draw the line? I never did that with you, not once did I put boundaries on our relationship.

I know, you are probably thinking that if we had, things may have been different. Things that happened wouldn't happen, and vise versa. But I have no regrets, no apologies, no second thoughts towards what we have. You might wonder, why didn't we limit ourselves to just being friends? Why you ask?

Isn't it simple and obvious?

I love you..