Lost

The next couple of days were weird. I spent most of them at my mother's. I really hadn't gone over there in six months. Only because it was way to painful to remember that day over and over again. But this time it wasn't as bad. I had Jason with me the whole time. And we joked around a lot like we did when we were living here.

Oh how young and naive we were. How good live was. I don't talk to Jason like I want to. That nightmare comes back every time I open my mouth when I should. It just never seems right, or it seems like he's going to reject me.

So instead I sit around and do nothing about it. The most contact we had was wrestling. I let Jason win. I could have kicked his ass. (probably not though, he got stronger.) I like to believe he still likes me. But part of me, the sad depressing part, makes me believe that he hates me and wishes I would have overdosed. Sometimes, I wish I would have just overdosed and died. Maybe I wouldn't have hurt Jason so badly.

Right now, were in my old room, the basement, with all the other kids; Christofer, Marcus, Jeffrey and this new kid, Hayden. Hayden was a cute kid, for a sixteen year old. I'm not all into that young kid thing. Plus I'm in love with Jason. For sure in love with him. I don't want anyone else, and I've said that for a year. A whole fucking year. Gah.

Anyways, so there we were sitting in a big circle. And apparently Christofer wanted to play truth or dare, which caused Hayden to giggle and nod, and made Jason nod very quickly and child like. I had to laugh at that. So we started playing truth or dare. They started out small like, like a toilet seat, and sing get low while being danced on. Ya know small things. But then Christofer being the little asshole that he is, dared Jason to sit on me and make out with me for a full two minutes. I blushed and looked at Jason.

“What if I don't?” Jason said with a smirk.

“You have to go up to Joy, and make out with her for ten minutes.”

“Uh. Ew.”

“Well it's always ten times worse.”

“True. Okay.” Jason said getting up and sitting on my lap. I looked up at him with big doe eyes. He put his legs on either side of me and grasped my face in his hands. He lent in and kissed me lightly at first. I kissed him back and put my hands on his hips. He started getting more and more passionate and slowly slipped his tongue into my mouth. I battled his tongue with mine and finally let him overpower me.

After a while I pulled him down on top of me as I went and laid back. Nothing was around me. It was just him and I. No one else was in the room it felt like. This kiss was the most passionate one we've ever had. It was the best kiss I've ever had. It felt like nothing else mattered. Just him and I, lips locked, tongues twisting with each other, bodies completely pressed against each other. It felt amazing, and very much missed.

I heard Christofer call out that time was done. But we didn't care. It wasn't over for us. This six months being away from each other was terribly missed. This was six months missed of kisses. And no one could or would stop us.

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away with a couple of pecks on my lips. I smiled and I knew it reached my eyes. He blushed and looked down quite cutely might I add. I looked around and noticed no one was here anymore. I looked up at Jason and he nuzzled his face into my chest. “I've missed you Mikey. For real. At first I was mad, angry and homicidal. But that slowly turned to depression and reject. No one ever filled that spot in my heart, that big spot that was aching for you.”

I smiled and ran my hand through his hair. “I know what you mean, love. I missed you terrible. You're the motivation that kept me going.” I could feel him smile against my chest. “I was so scared to call you that day.”

“I know. I got the invitation. You lied, silly boy.” I shrugged with a goofy smile on my face.

“I couldn't help it. I had to make sure you were coming.”

“I understand Mikey. Don't think I don't. I know you. And I know what's going on with you when you do something.” I nodded.

We laid like that for a while and just talked. It felt good. I never did tell him that I loved him. I was scared, but can you blame me?