Nothing and Everything
An Alluring Fermata
“Hey, I think dinner’s ready. We should probably go sit down...” Conor mused. Gerard stared down at his hands, then nodded vaguely, as if he already knew.
“Okay.” He smiled yet again, flashing his pearly teeth in the process. The two walked, to Conor’s ultimate discomfort, side by side into the dining room where the navy blue jacket Janet had bought especially for Conor was waiting patiently for him on the chair adjacent to hers. He smiled as happily as he could at everyone as he sat down, Gerard snagging the seat next to his.
When Conor tried to flash his girlfriend the kind of smile that Gerard could, one full of confidence and excitement, it did not feel at all the same. Janet only stared, cold and mysterious. She pursed her lips tightly at the sound of Gerard sitting down, and scooted just that much closer to Conor, smoothing out his left sleeve in the process. Janet sighed in faux contentment as she brushed a stray piece of lint aside, kissing Conor’s cheek.
Dark green salads topped with pomegranate seeds were served to the guests, and forks clattered as everyone began their dinner. Gerard seemed hungry, and laughed at the scene across from him.
“God, I can’t stand pomegranate seeds with Salad. Why couldn’t you let me help with the menu for once, Hayley?”
“Come on, Jeff, don’t be insane. It’s the best way to eat it. Here, just try one little bite.” Hayley laughed, dangling her lettuce-draped fork gracefully in front of her husband’s face. Surprisingly, Jeff took a bite, but winced over-dramatically at the taste.
Conor was amused, and raised his eyebrows at Jeff, as if to sympathize and laugh at him simultaneously.
Just before Conor was considering what he would do if Gerard happened to literally explode with laughter, Hayley put her fork down and stood up. “Lily?”
Jeff’s mother smiled and stood up next to her daughter-in-law, her soft, perfumed hand wrapped in hers.
Hayley hugged her tightly, and whispered a thank-you in her ear. Then, she stood up and called attention. “I know I should probably be waiting until later this evening, but now that Jeff’s mother is here, I have a feeling I should start now. Thank you so much for coming tonight. As you may realize now, this is more than just a dinner party, because Lily has flown all the way from Washington just to see us...”
Jeff was confused. He knew his mother was coming, and he was happy, but... Why was this now more than a dinner party? Hayley was always subtle with things like this, potential toasts like this. What does she know that I don’t?
Then, Jeff heard his wife again, and realized he had been paying almost no attention to her past few sentences.
“But I have something very...” Hayley paused, searching for an appropriate adjective, trying to remember Conor’s optimistic viewpoint on her pregnancy. “... Exciting news for you, Jeff.” Hayley only whispered her husband’s name, hoping he could hear her and take a hint. “I’m pregnant.”
Gerard dropped his fork in awe, then smiled, getting up to hug his friend. “Hayley, Congratulations!”
Hayley winced at his grip, but she looked happy. Her eyes were trying not to see Jeff, but there he was, his glass still in his hand.
Jeff wasn’t smiling. He seemed frozen in place, a stray tear gliding slowly down his cheek. He stood up and placed his hand on Gerard’s shoulder, signaling he was ready to talk to his wife. Gerard smiled encouragingly back at Jeff and walked back to his seat. Everyone at the table was exchanging a smile, biting their lips in anticipation of Jeff’s reaction.
“I love you Hayley, and I will love our baby just as much. Is? - I -” He wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her cheek, then turned to his mother. “This is why you flew over, mom?”
Lily nodded, a soft sparkling in her eye, far brighter than the diamond on her finger. “I’m here for you two. Whenever you need me.”
Jeff and Hayley kissed once again, their hands intertwining for those few brief moments before they realized they were still standing in front of their guests.
Conor locked eyes with Hayley. I told you everything would be fine. He was happy everything turned out alright, because his optimism seldom overtook him. Whenever it did, he sounded so confident, so sure, yet so afraid he would be wrong. He didn’t know why he was so scared of being wrong, but he was. It took over him, engulfed him, seized him beyond his control.
Conor gave Hayley a reassuring smile, then turned to Janet, who was gazing lovingly at the couple, Jeff’s hands caressing his wife’s stomach. She then kissed Conor, “Maybe that will be us someday.” rubbing his forearm gently. Janet would always do that, touching his arm, as if perfecting it, making sure it was all hers in some way.
He was trapped, completely trapped. If he didn’t say anything, Janet would analyze it too much, and be angry. It would feel wrong, but he had to say it; Conor didn’t want any drama, not now, not here.
“Maybe.”
“Okay.” He smiled yet again, flashing his pearly teeth in the process. The two walked, to Conor’s ultimate discomfort, side by side into the dining room where the navy blue jacket Janet had bought especially for Conor was waiting patiently for him on the chair adjacent to hers. He smiled as happily as he could at everyone as he sat down, Gerard snagging the seat next to his.
When Conor tried to flash his girlfriend the kind of smile that Gerard could, one full of confidence and excitement, it did not feel at all the same. Janet only stared, cold and mysterious. She pursed her lips tightly at the sound of Gerard sitting down, and scooted just that much closer to Conor, smoothing out his left sleeve in the process. Janet sighed in faux contentment as she brushed a stray piece of lint aside, kissing Conor’s cheek.
Dark green salads topped with pomegranate seeds were served to the guests, and forks clattered as everyone began their dinner. Gerard seemed hungry, and laughed at the scene across from him.
“God, I can’t stand pomegranate seeds with Salad. Why couldn’t you let me help with the menu for once, Hayley?”
“Come on, Jeff, don’t be insane. It’s the best way to eat it. Here, just try one little bite.” Hayley laughed, dangling her lettuce-draped fork gracefully in front of her husband’s face. Surprisingly, Jeff took a bite, but winced over-dramatically at the taste.
Conor was amused, and raised his eyebrows at Jeff, as if to sympathize and laugh at him simultaneously.
Just before Conor was considering what he would do if Gerard happened to literally explode with laughter, Hayley put her fork down and stood up. “Lily?”
Jeff’s mother smiled and stood up next to her daughter-in-law, her soft, perfumed hand wrapped in hers.
Hayley hugged her tightly, and whispered a thank-you in her ear. Then, she stood up and called attention. “I know I should probably be waiting until later this evening, but now that Jeff’s mother is here, I have a feeling I should start now. Thank you so much for coming tonight. As you may realize now, this is more than just a dinner party, because Lily has flown all the way from Washington just to see us...”
Jeff was confused. He knew his mother was coming, and he was happy, but... Why was this now more than a dinner party? Hayley was always subtle with things like this, potential toasts like this. What does she know that I don’t?
Then, Jeff heard his wife again, and realized he had been paying almost no attention to her past few sentences.
“But I have something very...” Hayley paused, searching for an appropriate adjective, trying to remember Conor’s optimistic viewpoint on her pregnancy. “... Exciting news for you, Jeff.” Hayley only whispered her husband’s name, hoping he could hear her and take a hint. “I’m pregnant.”
Gerard dropped his fork in awe, then smiled, getting up to hug his friend. “Hayley, Congratulations!”
Hayley winced at his grip, but she looked happy. Her eyes were trying not to see Jeff, but there he was, his glass still in his hand.
Jeff wasn’t smiling. He seemed frozen in place, a stray tear gliding slowly down his cheek. He stood up and placed his hand on Gerard’s shoulder, signaling he was ready to talk to his wife. Gerard smiled encouragingly back at Jeff and walked back to his seat. Everyone at the table was exchanging a smile, biting their lips in anticipation of Jeff’s reaction.
“I love you Hayley, and I will love our baby just as much. Is? - I -” He wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her cheek, then turned to his mother. “This is why you flew over, mom?”
Lily nodded, a soft sparkling in her eye, far brighter than the diamond on her finger. “I’m here for you two. Whenever you need me.”
Jeff and Hayley kissed once again, their hands intertwining for those few brief moments before they realized they were still standing in front of their guests.
Conor locked eyes with Hayley. I told you everything would be fine. He was happy everything turned out alright, because his optimism seldom overtook him. Whenever it did, he sounded so confident, so sure, yet so afraid he would be wrong. He didn’t know why he was so scared of being wrong, but he was. It took over him, engulfed him, seized him beyond his control.
Conor gave Hayley a reassuring smile, then turned to Janet, who was gazing lovingly at the couple, Jeff’s hands caressing his wife’s stomach. She then kissed Conor, “Maybe that will be us someday.” rubbing his forearm gently. Janet would always do that, touching his arm, as if perfecting it, making sure it was all hers in some way.
He was trapped, completely trapped. If he didn’t say anything, Janet would analyze it too much, and be angry. It would feel wrong, but he had to say it; Conor didn’t want any drama, not now, not here.
“Maybe.”