12 Bullets to the Head

The last twelve shows of the tour seemed to fly by with ease. Traveling across eighteen states and five providence's, the tour had been a good one, but it seemed too short. The end, though, wasn't so good. Levi had started to drift away from the band, spending more time alone in his bunk or on his cell phone, Brenden and Ryan were still in that awkward-to-be-around-each-other stage, and Nim had been making his presence known. Aiden had started to fall back into the pattern of avoiding food and drinking water all day to curb his hunger, though he splurged quite a few times.

The last show of the tour, at Armory in Albany, New York, was the most exhausting show all tour. Aiden was wearing thin, the lack of food taking a toll on his malnourished body. Ryan and Levi were trying to just get through the set without fighting. Both could see their young front man struggling to keep standing throughout the show. He fell to his knees many times, but was back up again after he tried to play it off as a move.

The fans noticed though, and even had some quite worried about their young singer.

Aiden lived through the show, though he was so worn out he rested on the couch as they celebrated the end of the tour. Devten were celebrating with some of the crew members from both bands and three fourths of 12 Bullets. Aiden had fallen asleep on the couch.

Levi was far away from Ryan and Brenden, having a drink with Jose. Ryan and Brenden were trying to get along, though it wasn't hard on Ryan's part. Brenden just couldn't let it go. He believed that Ryan should have waited until the tour was over, maybe, to let his feelings out. But what was done, was done, and even as Brenden began to think it all over, he realized that maybe, just maybe, he knew what Ryan was feeling.

Aiden ended up falling a sleep on the couch, his head resting against the arm of the brown couch. His band mates looked at him with pity. They didn't see the signs of Nim yet, but they knew their friend was more exhausted than usually and that he wasn't eating, around them at least. Levi was to busy hating Ryan and Brenden to really notice Aiden much lately. Even as their singer slept out of exhaustion, he was talking with Devten's guitar tech, much to interested in the attractive woman to notice.

Eventually, Ryan woke Aiden and helped him get to the bus that would take them to their hotel that night. With his arms around Ryan and Brenden's shoulders, he slowly walked out of the back door, not even noticing the few fans still waiting outside. He was to tired to stop and talk with them and sign something as he normally would have done. Ryan tried to block Aiden from their view, as he was on their side, but the flashes reached the worn out singer before he could.

No doubt would the rumors start to circulate while they slept in their hotel room beds. The rumors would include Aiden being worn out at the show and the last couple for that matter and him leaving the venue on Ryan and Brenden's arms. Like any rumor that circulates the web, there were two sides; the one that claimed Aiden was drinking heavily and had been before the show, that's why he was too tired to stand most of the show and he had passed out backstage afterwords after drinking more so Ryan and Brenden had to carry him out; the other that countered that, saying that Aiden was just tired from the tour and so he fell asleep backstage and was too tired to walk so Ryan and Brenden had to help him out.

Levi exited the backstage door shortly after his other band mates. He was on the phone with Miku, setting plans to meet up with him and this girl once he returned. Luckily he wasn't saying anything compromising when he walked out as a few fans seemed to be recording him with their camera's. So, thinking of the best route to make it seem like he was on the phone with his mom or something, he ended the conversation and walked over to the fans behind the fence.

Levi smiled at what looked like ten girls and a few boys. They squealed as he stopped in front of them. "What are you all doing out here so late?"

Two girls dressed in matching short red dresses with fishnets underneath and black bandannas wrapped around their necks looked at each other, their pigtails swaying with the movement. Their identical eyes stared back at Levi as similar giggles came from them.

"I love you," a girl with green hair gushed, suddenly blushing and looking away as Levi looked at her.

"Don't be embarrassed!"

The green haired girl blushed heavier than before. Levi moved towards her, asking her name as he took the small notebook from her hand. He flipped it open, pulling a pen from his back pocket. He brought the pen to the paper, signing his name.

"Lorianne," she told him as he signed the paper. "I think you're the best bassist!"

Levi smiled at her. "Thanks, Lorianne. Did you guys enjoy the show?"

Words of approval came from the group, causing Levi to smile widely at a small boy griping the bars of the fence as he wasn't tall enough to reach the top. Levi bent down to his level, looking at him with a smile. The boy couldn't have been more that three. The boy smiled at Levi, thrilled to see the bassist kneeling in front of him. His sandy brown hair was cut short, but long enough to fall into his eyes and cause a tiny hand to come up and brush it aside.

"What's you're name?" Levi asked in a kind voice as a few other fans awed and recorded the interaction.

"Seamus," he responded in a small voice. "Why's Aiden like that?"

"Like what?" Levi questioned, his eye brows coming together. "Leaning on Ryan and Brenden?"

Seamus nodded, looking at Levi with large hazel eyes. "Is he sick?" he asked innocently, a sad look adorning his young face.

"Yeah," Levi paused, thinking about how to word just how sick Aiden was. "He's been... sick for a while. It's just starting to take it's toll on him..."

The young boy nodded in understandment, looking down at the pavement in sadness.

Aiden was slumped low in the leather sofa aboard the bus heading to the hotel for the night. Tomorrow they were scheduled for MTV and Fuse on Tuesday before catching a plane to Detroit and driving across Michigan to their home town.

It was an unspoken mutual agreement that they were ready to head back to their homes and their families for a short break before another tour. Ryan and Brenden, surprisingly, were talking together about how good their hotel beds would feel right now. Aiden silently agreed, his head falling to his chest as he almost fell asleep.

Unfortunately, a few fans had somehow figured out what hotel they stayed in that night, and for the next few days. Aiden tried to stay awake, but his body was so drained from the show that Ryan and Brenden helped him off the bus and stayed next to him as they walked through the lobby. Levi stopped briefly to sign a few things for the fans before heading inside to join the others himself. The fans didn't just leave, though. They stuck around and talked amongst themselves outside the hotel. Two girls had managed to get pictures of Aiden exiting the bus on the arms of Ryan and Brenden. By this time tomorrow, the world would assume Aiden was getting drunk after shows.

The sun spilled through the curtains of yet another hotel room. The rays illuminated Aiden's weathered body. He groaned as the light hit his face, dragging him from a deep sleep. Levi sat at the desk, the laptop in front of him as he typed furiously. Aiden climbed out of bed. He smelled coffee.

As Aiden neared Levi at the desk, he heard the multiple clicks of the mouse, He glanced over to see the windows disappearing into the menu bar and Levi looking at him as if to make sure Aiden didn't read or see anything. Aiden ignored this, proceeding to make himself some coffee. Levi began to type quickly once again.

Thinking to himself, Aiden drank his coffee standing in the bathroom where the coffee pot was located. When he was finished with the drink, he put the cup in the bathroom trash and walked out to gather today's clothes. Fishing through his bag, he looked for his tye dye tee he made years ago. Finding it at the bottom under his black hoodie, he pulled it out along with his blue pants.

After taking a refreshing shower, Aiden pulled on his clothes and finished getting ready for the day of interviews. He changed out his sliver lip rings and replaced them with an orange pair.

"Smile, Aiden!" Levi shouted unexpectedly as he held up his digital camera. He pushed the button, causing a bright flash to illuminate the dark corners of the bathroom and capturing Aiden standing against the sink, leaning into the mirror to fix his snakebites. "Oh! Perfect!" Levi laughed.

Aiden moved away from the mirror, satisfied with how the piercings looked. He faced Levi as he took another picture, this time Aiden playing along and posing for him. "Happy?"

"Nope," Levi smiled. "I wanna document your morning routine!"

"Why?" Aiden asked, puzzled. He picked up his blue eyeliner from the counter and leaned toward the mirror again as he thickly applied to to the bottom of his eyes. "Don't you have something more... interesting to document? I mean, what's so interesting about me getting ready?"

"Nothing," Levi chuckled, leaning against the doorway. "Something to show Ma when you get home? She'd like to see what you do..."

"She already knows..." Aiden mumbled, trying to concentrate on not poking his eye out. He finished and turned to Levi. "They even?"

Levi studied him before nodding and taking another picture of Aiden, who just rolled his eyes and continued on applying the eye shadow and glitter he decided to wear. Once he was done, Levi snapped another picture and looked at his as Aiden began styling his hair. He noticed that it was getting longer and that before the next tour, he would have to get his hair cut, unless he wanted to keep it longer, and maybe go for a different style...

He wasn't sure.

After meeting Ryan and Brenden in the hall, Aiden, Levi, Ryan and Brenden all walked down to the lobby with Elliot, their security guard. Everyone was in good moods, even when they were stopped by a few fans in the lobby to get a picture. Not to long after, they were in a relaxed conference room of the hotel with Shelly, the interviewer for J-14 Magazine. It was supposed to be a short interview, only fifteen minutes, but it lasted a few minutes over because Shelly kept getting sidetracked. Aiden didn't talk much, he let the others handle most of the usual questions and only answered when a question was directed at him.

After thanking Shelly, they were ushered to the van to head to MTV Studios for their interview and performance there. Upon entering the studios from the back entrance, they were greeted and lead to a dressing room. Aiden explored the room with the others, wondering what was in here for their disposal. There was a table on the wall adjoining the door full with fruits, vegetables and cold sandwiches.

Spending the next fifteen minutes in the room, Aiden smiled for Levi's camera. But one can only take the bright flashes and the beeps for so long and it didn't take long before Aiden refused to smile and just sit on the overstuffed chair in a ball, texting Sam in California as Levi snapped a few more pictured before moving onto his next victim of camera rape. Unfortunately, it happened to be Ryan, who didn't feel like being the next victim today. The two bickered as Brenden watched helplessly. He wouldn't want to say anything unless he wanted to be the next victim.

Soon he called Sam, wanting to talk to her. "Hallo,"she greeted, a smiled clearly evident in her voice. Aiden smiled, too. He was glad to hear her voice again after so long.

"How are you?" he asked. Sam was nearing the end of her own tour with One Last Shot.

"Good," she responded. "What about you, Pretty-Boy?" There was his nickname. Aiden couldn't even remember when she began calling him that. It just caught on one day and stuck.

Aiden repositioned himself on the chair so that his head leaned against the back and his knee's were pressed to his chest. He sighed, thinking about the question through. Today, he was feeling very fake, hence is wardrobe choice for the day of interviews and fans. But he also was excited and tired for the tour was over; he'd be home in his own bed soon.

"Very fake and homesick."

"Homesick is understandable, but fake?" Same asked, her voice raising.

Aiden explained to her the feeling and she soon understand. Their conversation progressed as they talked about how their tours had gone and what they had planned for their time off.

"You're going camping again, right?" Sam wondered aloud as he heard her shift in her bunk.

"We should be, but later in the vacation," he answered, "because Benzi probably isn't going on right now anyway."

Every year Mardella took both boys rustic camping in Benzi and they spent a week up there. They'd sleep in a tee pee and get up at the crack of dawn to cook a meal over the fire. Electricity didn't exist and neither did anything from the new millennium. Aiden loved that week the most. it was one of the few things that made life on tour seem impossible.

"It's too cold!" Sam complained.

"Cold?" Aiden laughed. "You're in California! How can it be fucking cold?"

"Not here," she laughed, "there!"

"Oh," Aiden paused, laughing at himself now. "I thought you meant there."

A comfortable silence fell over their phone conversation as the two collected their thoughts. Aiden wondered how he'd feel right then if Sam and him were still dating. Would he miss her more? He would, but he missed her so much that e didn't think it was possible to miss someone more. Sam broke the silence and Aiden's thoughts first.

"Are Brenden and Ryan getting along again?"

"Kinda... Levi's taking pictures of them." Aiden looked over at the three, posing as Levi snapped away. Somehow, Ryan had came around to the idea of being photographed... and with Brenden no less. Aiden was happy that they were at least comfortable around each other once again.

"That's good. Maybe they'll be fine by the time vacations over."

Doing a photo shoot for MTV first, the band stood in the hallway as the photographer took picture after picture. Aiden was standing behind Levi, who kneeled on the carpeting, with his legs shoulder length apart, Brenden and Ryan flanking him. Doing a few more photos where they all walked down the hall towards the photographer, they thanked him as he wrapped up.

Spending a few more boring minutes in their dressing room, Aiden texted Sam again, this time telling her that they would be going on in a few minutes before setting his phone on vibrate and shoving it back into his pocket. He took a deep breath and held it briefly. He let it out slowly as Brenden lightly touched his shoulder. Aiden turned his head to him, raising an eye brow at the sudden touch.

"Are you... okay?" he asked, concern in his eyes as he gazed at his younger brother or sorts.

"Yeah, fine." Was the generic reply. It didn't answer Brenden's question though. He really meant if Aiden was okay with a relationship that might bloom with Ryan, but he didn't know how to bring it up. Nor did he really want to, for that matter. He took the answer just the same, nodding and walking toward the door absentmindedly.

Aiden stared after him, contemplating the question further. Was he alright with it? He couldn't be sure. Nothing like this had happened to him before. Sure, he had other friends that were gay, but none of them were close enough that it affected their friendship if they got a boyfriend.

A knock came from the door and a girl with a headset on popped her head into the doorway. "The shows about to start. Are you guys ready?"

"Yeah," Levi answered for them all.

They were led down the halls of MTV and to a room Aiden had seen many times before, but this was his first time being in it, himself. Aiden sat down in the middle, Brenden, Ryan and Levi filling in the spots around him. The camera crew stood to his right, ready to film them sitting here for the beginning of TRL when they announced that they'd be on today's show.

Aiden smiled and waved at the cameraman when he signaled that he was filming. They could, although faintly, hear the audience scream from their backstage room. They would only have to sit there till the first commercial break.

"How many do you think are thirteen?" Levi chuckled as he leaned back and brought his leg up to rest on his knee. "Over half?"

Ryan shrugged. "I don't really care. I'm more worried about answering questions," he voiced, truly looking nervous.

"God. I was only joking, Ry!" Levi's eyebrows burrowed and so did Ryan's. "I didn't mean to shove that stick higher up your ass..."

Did he just make a gay joke? Ryan was appalled. All he did was say that he was worried more about the questions, and Levi explodes and jokes about his sexuality? "I can't believe you just said that..." Ryan wanted to go on, but he remembered the camera filming them and stopped dead. Aiden looked at the two with wide eyes before turning to Brenden with the same look.

Aiden sighed, knowing that this was going to be a long day if they kept this up. Brenden leaned over Aiden, getting Ryan's attention. He whispered something unsharable into his ear and sat back. Ryan nodded once and began drumming on his knees, a sour look adorning his face. Aiden hummed to himself, wondering what would happen between everyone during the interview and performance.