12 Bullets to the Head

The morning sun crept up Aiden's teen body as he awoke in a cold sweat. his hands went to his throat and quickly groped as if he was afraid of losing something. He only found a necklace, to his relief, and let his hands drop onto the white sheets.

It was just a nightmare. A terrible dream that would never happen. Aiden ran his hands through his hair, letting out a whoosh of relief. He cautiously looked to Brenden's bed, hoping that he would be sleeping peacefully. Instead, Aiden was looking at Levi's sleeping face. Levi's bag was at his foot of the bed with a few clothes hanging out.

Aiden slipped out of bed, grabbing his phone from the bedside table and walking into the kitchen. Aiden turned his phone on as he opened the top of the coffee maker. he replaced the old grounds and filter with new as he hummed to himself. He took the pot to the sink and rinsed it out before filling it. Padding back to the maker, Aiden poured the fresh water into the back. He replaced the glass pot onto the burner and flipped the switch. He picked his phone up off the counter, still humming, and opened his missed messages. Bringing the device to his ear after typing the the password, he listened as Sam babbled on about how she wanted to leave a message instead of text him and to call her back whenever he got the chance. Ryan had called just to see if they were still eating downstairs this morning.

Aiden called Ryan back, making it a mental note to call Sam later. The phone rang and rang and rang and ... rang. He was about to hang up and wait till when he woke up when Ryan answered.

"'Lo?" Ryan answered tiredly, yawning after he did so.

"Did I wake you up?" Aiden fretted. Should he have waited until later? "I'm sorry, Ry. I'll call back later."

"No," Ryan yawned. "I'm so tired, I just can't sleep, y'know?"

"Yeah," Aiden breathed. "Hey, do you wanna get a muffin or something downstairs? Maybe coffee?"

"That'd be great. Come over," Ryan yawned again. "in, like, five, okay?"

Aiden smiled at his tired friend on the phone. "Okay."

Aiden hung up and left the phone on the desk as he thought of the clothes he could wear. After digging through the clothes he brought in off the bus, it looked like he would have to stick with his Lip Service dark blue jeans and his Drum Mayhem tee. Gathering the clothes and bathroom bag, he slipped into the bathroom. After quickly changing, Aiden took out his tooth brush and paste.

As he began to brush his teeth, he glanced in the mirror. His gaze went back to the mirror milliseconds later. Those bright green orbs that stared back at him weren't his. He paused, looking hard at his reflection. It couldn't be... could it?

No, Aiden tried to convince himself as he went back to his task. It was a trick of the light.

But when he was done rinsing his mouth and was quickly brushing his hair, He came to visit again. Just when Aiden thought he was free and was over his past insecurities, He had to come back and bring him down again.

Hello, Aiden, the green eyed reflection greeted. I heard you've been sinning lately. Want to tell me why? You were doin' so good, Aiden.

"I was not," Aiden retaliated, glaring at the boy in the mirror he used to strive to be. But that was in the past. He was better now, over that phase of trying to be perfect. "I was killing myself. I am better without you, Nim!"

Nim chuckled, his laugh echoing off the bathroom walls. You'll see soon, my friend. I am what's right. You need to be like me to be accepted, remember? The kids don't like overweight singers... Laughter filled the bathroom once again as the green eyed boy disappeared from the mirror and Aiden was the one standing in his place, glaring at himself.

"Fuck you," Aiden mumbled, leaving the bathroom and, hopefully, Nim behind.

After meeting Ryan in hall, the two walked down to the restaurant. Aiden slid into a booth as Ryan slid into the one across from him. Ryan picked at the edge of the wood table, yawning into his hand and blinking hard. Taking a good look at him, Aiden noticed dark circles forming under his bloodshot eyes. The older of the two rubbed his tired eyes hard and avoided eye contact with the other, almost as if he was afraid that he would be caught with a tear that slipped past.

Later that day, as the band moved on toward Irvine in the bus, Ryan and Brenden could be found in their respective bunks, refusing to socialize with one another or any one else. Levi was sharing his thoughts on the two with Aiden as he flipped through the pages of his magazine. Aiden was trying to write some lyrics, but thanks to Levi, all he could come up with was how bad homosexuals were.

"And they decide now, of all times," Levi went on as he turned the glossy page. "to tell us about this! Who do they think they are? Fags, that's all they'll ever be, ya know? All the same."

Aiden sat on the other end of the couch from Levi, listening to him ramble about his band mates. He refrained from saying anything in case Levi thought that he was on their side, which he wasn't. He wasn't about to chose sides, if there were any.

"My dad would always worn me about people like them. 'No good with them,' he'd say. 'All have AIDS, Lev. Stay away from them.'" Levi chuckled, looking up at Aiden. "Now look where I am!"

Aiden bit his tongue. He shouldn't speak his mind, it'd just make things worse.

"I was thinking about leavin'," Levi paused, turning the page again. Aiden looked at him briefly. "The band, I mean. I don't want to get AIDS or anything... but what would you do, Aid? Play my parts? Find someone new? I guess I'd just have to deal with that risk of dying to keep this alive. Though I'd advise you to used hand sanitizer whenever-"

"Shut the fuck UP!" Aiden had enough with Levi's whinny bullshit. "You can't fuckin' get AIDS by touching them! You're fuckin' irrationally homophobic and your fuckin' dad was a liar! Have you got AIDS? They've been gay all along and you never minded then. Shit, you even kissed Bren as a dare!"

Aiden was on his feet now, his arms outstretched as he tried to rationalize with Levi. Levi looked at him as he sat up, crumpling his magazine in his hand. Aiden knew he'd struck a nerve as Levi stood also, getting right into his face, using his height against the younger.

"Are you fuckin' accusing me of being a hypocrite!?" Levi spat. "Do you know how much mouth wash I used not five minutes after that dare? If it wasn't for fuckin' Abel, I wouldn't have even thought of kissing any guy!"

"Don't try to cover it up! You fuckin' kissed him and just brushed it off! Who fuckin' cares? You don't fuckin' have or won't ever get AIDS! Get the fuck over yourself, Levi! You're an adult for Christs sake!" Aiden argued.

"I have the right to think however I want, thank you very much!" Levi slit his eyes, glaring down on the short teen.

"Motherfucker! Their your own BAND MATES!" Aiden threw his arm out toward the bunks. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?"

"They're FAGS, Aiden!" Levi stressed. "Do you want this band to go to shit because of those two? I think I'm thinking perfectly fine!"

Adrenaline pumped through Aiden's veins. His fists balled up and his heart jumped in his chest. All he wanted to do was beat Levi into a bloody pulp for thinking that Brenden and Ryan were scum just because of how they were. He refrained from become so violent, but ended up pushing Levi from him, glaring at him intensely.

"What the fuck!?" Levi reacted, moving back a few steps as he was pushed.

"ARG!" Aiden gave up, storming away from Levi into the back lounge and pulling the door closed as hard as he could. He threw himself down on the black leather sofa, breathing hard.

Meanwhile, Ryan was laying in his bunk, a pen in hand and a small black book on the pillow. He'd been writing since getting on the bus about what happened the night before. Of course, Brenden was mentioned several times and each time Ryan wrote his name, he'd pause in his thought as a knife was pressed into his heart. The pain would travel through his veins, as if the numbing knives were being carried with the cells. By the time he was done recollecting the painful reality, he was in tears and felt numb. Putting the pen and book inside his pillow case, Ryan curled into a ball facing the wall, letting the tears fall freely.

Brenden was in his own bunk, laying perfectly still after hearing the fight between Aiden and Levi. Although Aiden did have a short temper with certain things, Brenden had never heard him get that mad. And over him and Ryan? Guilt racked his body. He didn't ever think that this would end the band. They'd worked so hard to get where they were right now, how could it be so close to ending now?

While Brenden was stressing over the bands demise and Ryan crying in his bunk over a crushed heart and Aiden fuming in the back, Levi was on the phone with his best friend back home, Miku, a Japanese teenager that moved to the United States with his family after spending a year in Ludington schools as an exchange student. Levi told Miku all about the night before and the fight with Aiden, ranting as he paced the bus.

Miku listened to his friend, agreeing with him every now and then. Of course he'd take his friends side. He didn't care what he was agreeing to, but all he knew was that Aiden kid was at it again, upsetting another person he cared about. He was sitting in front of his computer, the phone resting in its charger on speaker. He was typing quickly to firesidechaser, a girl he met online and discovered she lived near by.

"...and he just fuckin' pushed me! All over those fuckin' fags!" Levi was saying.

Miku was only half listening, though. He was much more interested in what firesidechaser was talking about.

firesidechaser: we shld ttly mEt F2F wends
mikumiku_x.: w/w?
firesidechaser: 9pm/LHS?
mikumiku_x.: snds gd :)
firesidechaser: wat u doin nw
mikumiku_x.: tlkn w/ levi
firesidechaser: :0
firesidechaser: wat he say?
firesidechaser: he call?
mikumiku_x.: yah
mikumiku_x.: he tlk bout vox bn ass
mikumiku_x.: nd others bn fags
firesidechaser: wat!?
firesidechaser:
mikumiku_x.: yah.
mikumiku_x.: obv. ppl r doin echoth. nd hes homophob

Miku had told firesidechaser about being friends with Levi and even embelished a little and saying he knew them well. Though he didn't know the person he was talking to knew them better than he did as she acted like any other fan out there.

mikumiku_x.: chng mind bout vox?
firesidechaser: no
firesidechaser: ;-)
firesidechaser: stll thnk ima do him.
mikumiku_x.: in ur drems
mikumiku_x.: he prolly only gts into th pnts of Ry
mikumiku_x.: XD
firesidechaser: hpe not

Levi was still ranting as he logged off and began to strip. He took the phone off the hook as he flopped down onto the bed, finally responding to his friend on his way to Irvine.