Air so Cold, Mind so Bitter.

She wanted to run away, as fast as her feet could possibly take her, to the warm security of her home, but she didn’t. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t like him like that, he was just a good friend, but she didn’t, because that was a lie. She wanted to tell him she wasn’t looking for a relationship, because no one would wait for her and she had to go back to Afghanistan in thirteen days, for five and a half months.

But she didn’t.

She left her lips on his, her hands still holding his slightly sweaty palms, her eyes fluttering shut as she kissed him softly. His lips were pillowed and deliciously fluffy, and he kissed so tenderly. It wasn’t rough and forceful like most of the men she’d kissed before, who were determined to get her into bed as soon as possible. Brendon wasn’t like that, and his kissing reflected such beliefs.
One of his hands slid from hers and to her face, where he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She smiled as he did so and broke away slowly, sitting up.
His eyes remained shut, a large smile plastered across his face. She bit her lip, trying to contain her own smile, but it still peeked out at the corners, wanting to say hello.
“Well,” he said, his eyelids rising to reveal his deep brown orbs. “I don’t think you owe me that case of beer anymore.”
She laughed and hit his chest lightly, bending down to press a single kiss to his lips.
“What were you whispering?” she asked and he blushed a little.
“I was saying ‘I wish you would kiss me’, but I knew you wouldn’t be able to hear me, so would edge closer, and then my lips would be able to reach yours,”
“Clever,” she laughed, rolling off of him, standing up and offering him her hand, so he could stand up too. He took it and thanked her, the pair grabbing their guns and Brendon putting his arm around her shoulders again. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed happily as they walked around the forest aimlessly.
“Today,” he began. “A student kissed me. And I allowed them to. They were in tears and I tried to console them, but they kissed me as I did so, and we moved closer and we probably would have made out had I not come to my senses. I know this is a weird thing to tell you but it’s eating away at me and I need to tell someone.” he gasped, taking a breath. “They were eighteen, by the way.”
“That’s, well, right,” she mumbled, very tempted to remove Brendon’s arm, but she hadn’t heard the whole story yet, so waited.
“I told them to stop, and to not do it again, and that I would help them with whatever issues they had, and if he-”
“It was a guy? You kissed a male student?”
“Fuck,” he whispered. “Yeah.”
“Why the hell are you telling me this? You say you’re not gay, yet you kiss a guy, who happens to be one of your students, then you tell me I’m worth taking time off work for, and kiss me? What is running through your head, Brendon?”
“He forced himself upon me, and his arms were around me... he was delicate, I didn’t want to hurt him! The whole concept of kissing a student sickens me. I’m worried, alright? I’m worried because I could get sacked, I could have hurt him, and I’m worried because I think you hate me now. I like you Marina, I really do. You fascinate me and I feel so damn comfortable around you.”
She smiled and stopped, turning to face him draping her arms around his neck. “I like you too,”
He pulled her close to him in a tight embrace, rubbing her back delicately, taking in the moment.
“You’ll be fine, Urie. Everything will be fine. Your heart was in the right place, it just may not have seemed like it at the time,” she soothed, kissing his forehead.
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They were currently sat on Brendon’s couch, now changed out of the paint balling clothes, a few new bruises on his body from the paint balls, and just the one bruise on Marina’s body, which Brendon had repeatedly apologized for. They’d kissed a few more times – on the way home he would sneak in single kisses, purely because he could, and it felt fantastic. She couldn’t be called his yet, but he was hoping in time, he could call her his.
“It’s getting late,” he yawned, cuddled up to Marina on the couch, watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, a mutual favorite. “And the movie is nearly over,”
“So I guess I should be going.” she said, picking up on his hints, pushing his arms off of her body, but he continued to hold her hand.
“The movie isn’t over yet,” he smiled and she smiled back, cuddling into him, reveling in the comfort and warmth of his body. This was all he’d wanted – someone to do things like this with. Lounge around, watching movies and holding each other, sharing the occasional kiss. His smile had been plastered across his face ever since the moment right before they’d kissed. He could only pray this lasted and wasn’t just a one night thing.

Will burst through the door, loud and boisterously, a few other guys following him into the apartment, reeking of a mix of alcohol and marijuana, ruining the tender moment between Marina and Brendon. She sat up and he paused the movie. Will turned to look at them, perplexity showing in his eyes.
“Were you two, like, doing something?” he asked as one of his friends sidled up to Marina, sitting on the arm of the couch.
“Hey, darlin’, I’m Henry,” he smirked a wasted smirk.
“Will, can you go? This isn’t your house and I really don’t want you coming in here smelling like that. Taking your drunkards with you, preferably,”
“Chill man, I’m just getting some more green,” he said unflappably, walking into his room and grabbing a small, plastic bag and tucking it into his pocket.
“What the fuck?” he shouted, standing up. “I’m sorry about this,” he said quietly to Marina, kissing her forehead. “You’re keeping weed in my house? Are you fucking insane?”
“No one’s going to find out, doesn’t matter. Unless your chick tattles on us,”
“She’s in the army you dick, she can take away all your drugs and put it on your record,” scoffed Brendon, and Will’s and his friends’ eyes widened.
“You’re... you’re really in the army? Like, a nurse or something?”
“I’m a soldier on the front line, with a pretty high up status, so I would suggest you put the marijuana back and allow it to be confiscated, unless you enjoy prison, of course,” she glared and he nodded quickly, putting it back and running out of the house with the other guys.

Brendon had his head in his hands. “I’m so fucking sorry. He’s got me through a lot and I feel as if I owe it to him to let him have a place here, but I need to kick him out, I know. I just, ugh,” he sighed. “I hate being mean.”
She smiled and stood up, hugging him loosely. “You’re too cute for your own good, Urie,” she laughed and he blushed, laughing a little too and hugging back.
“It’s not being mean, it’s doing what is necessary,”
“I know, but I can’t bring myself to do it. If you knew what he did for me when we were younger, then you’d understand. And can you actually arrest him?”
“No,” she smiled. “I’m nowhere near that high up. I’m working towards it, though,”
“Oh, cool.” he nodded and held her face in his hands, kissing her tenderly as she pulled him closer, one hand playing with little tufts of his soft, brown hair. His large lips puckered against hers, and he wanted to snake his tongue past her lips, but he didn’t, because it didn’t seem appropriate. That was the difference between him and most men – when their dick was thinking, they acted on it, not giving it a second thought, but he could just about control it. Sometimes he couldn’t and he hated himself during those times. He wanted to rest his hands of her butt, or slip them up her dress, but he had enough decency not to.
She broke away and smiled. “I’ll go now, finally get out of your hair,” she said, ruffling his hair and letting go of him, grabbing her coat and bag, slipping her shoes back on. He grabbed her wrist as she was doing so.
“I’ll take you home,”
“No, you have to sleep, you’ve got work in the morning. I’ll be fine,”
“But I insist!” he chimed, grabbing his keys and snaking his arm around her waist, pushing her out the door with him, locking up. “I’m not letting you walk home by yourself. What kind of dick does that?”
“Every guy I’ve ever dated,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Then they all weren’t good enough for you,” he said truthfully, kissing her hair as they walked back to her apartment. It would have been pitch black were they not in a city – the sky having a faint orange glow from the streetlights and everywhere being publicly lit.
“I had a really great time tonight, Brendon,” she beamed. “I underestimated you, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“How did you underestimate me?”
“You said you were painfully lonely and how you hadn’t had sex in a really long time... I assumed there must have been something wrong with you or you were a horrible date. I’m sorry!”
“Don’t be sorry,” he chuckled. “I usually can’t find a thing to say on a date, or they’re really not what I thought they were like originally, so it ends up awkward, and it becomes so high school,”
“...so high school?”
“You know how the geek kids were always so gauche in front of the beautiful girls? Yeah, I was like that. Except that continued out of high school. For some reason I can talk to you without getting tongue-tied, and it’s great! I don’t get it, because you’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen, but I don’t become an awkward kid again,” he smiled, giving her a squeeze.
“You’re really keen on compliments, huh?” she blushed.
“I only compliment people who deserve it,” he said honestly.

They walked the rest of the route in a comfortable silence, Brendon elated with a smile and Marina with a blush covering her cheeks, as there always was after being complimented or when she was happy. He made her feel good about herself, and it’d been a while since anyone had done that.

“I guess this is my stop,” she said, and they laughed lightly at the cliché. She opened her door and stood in the doorway. “Thanks for tonight, Brendon.”
“You can call me Bren, if you want. Brendon is such a mouthful sometimes,” he smiled. “And no problem. Thanks for spending it with me. Kudos to you for sticking with me for five solid hours!”
“It was such a burden,” she rolled her eyes, smile still present. He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss goodnight.
“I’ll call you, alright? Am I meant to leave it three days or something?”
“Just call me when I’m awake, other than that, I really don’t mind.”
He nodded and smiled, giving her one more kiss then walking away down the hallway. She stood there, watching him as he did a little dance and punched the air.