Status: Active :3
Quiet Desperation
tHREE
Brendon's POV
I got back to the apartment at around 1:00 in the morning. Spencer and Jon were waiting up for me, but as soon as they saw me, they let me go straight to bed without questioning. I guess my odd evening was reflected in the way I looked.
I knew that the questions would eventually come when I woke up, but I wanted time to think about what just happened. It started just like every other day, but somehow that normality got wildly out of control.
The phrase 'curiosity killed the cat'? It’s definitely true. I was curious about that guy sitting on the sidewalk, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to lead me slowly to insanity. At least that's what it felt like.
The way his hands felt so cold and lifeless in mine, how his skin was so pale it was almost translucent. His golden honey eyes stood out against his sunken, dead face, yet his thin lips seemed so pink and soft. His wispy brown hair fell in his face.
Even the clothes he was wearing were unique and amazing. He looked like he belonged in Vegas; his white dress shirt underneath a crimson red vest adorned with roses, chains hanging down across the front, and a matching red sash tied around his waist.
Underneath he wore simple black pants that showed just how small and skinny he was. I didn’t think it was possible for any living person to look that malnourished.
Everything about him screamed “fragile”, but there was also an underlying sense of extraordinary something about him. I didn’t know what it was, but something wasn’t right about the way he looked, felt, and acted.
While I lay in bed, forcing my eyes shut in a vain attempt of sleep, I could not tear my thoughts from his gorgeous face and strange attitude.
Even though I was somewhat afraid of him, I couldn’t help but wish to see the man again. He intrigued me, whether I liked it tor not. Even just knowing his name would be so important to me.
I know you don't understand, but you don't need to
That's what frustrated me the most. All I wanted was to understand, I didn't like the confusion I felt.
Ryan's POV
It'd been about two hours since he had run away from me, and I still couldn't wipe the grin off my face. I was back in the middle of the city, skipping around the streets and just generally not acting anything like myself.
Usually, I would be withdrawn. Usually, I would feel empty. Usually I would feel sad. Usually, I would sit on the sidelines and observe.
Tonight was not a usual night.
Tonight, I didn't want to just observe, I wanted to be a part of the madness. I wanted to watch the people gamble, laugh at the drunks stumbling around and trying to seduce each other. I wanted to feel the city, the way I'd felt Brendon.
I thought my dead heart beat with the city before, but now it was like the lights and the people, everything was literally rushing through my veins in place of the blood that was once there all those years ago.
I ran through the streets, quickly finding that there was no limit to my energy. I hadn't ever pushed myself, not since I'd died. But I felt so alive, I felt so... real, and I wondered why I hadn't tried this before. Then again, I hadn't ever met Brendon before, and he seemed to be the only one who could make me feel like this.
He wasn't the one making me feel alive... but he was the one giving me the opportunity to feel alive. I was feeling. And though I wasn't truly touching anything, when you really think about it, there's not too much of a difference.
I could physically feel the emotions in me, I could physically feel the excitement. It was like being born, everything is new and fresh. You just can't wait to try it all.
I stood still again, breathing hard simply because it felt right, not because I needed the oxygen. It didn't enter my body anyway.
I watched a particularly amusing group of happy drunks stumble around, making jokes and laughing at anything and everything.
I was like their energy played off of me. For the first time, I felt like I belonged.
No, it was more than that. I didn't just belong in Vegas. I wasn't simply in Vegas, I was a part of Vegas.
I got back to the apartment at around 1:00 in the morning. Spencer and Jon were waiting up for me, but as soon as they saw me, they let me go straight to bed without questioning. I guess my odd evening was reflected in the way I looked.
I knew that the questions would eventually come when I woke up, but I wanted time to think about what just happened. It started just like every other day, but somehow that normality got wildly out of control.
The phrase 'curiosity killed the cat'? It’s definitely true. I was curious about that guy sitting on the sidewalk, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to lead me slowly to insanity. At least that's what it felt like.
The way his hands felt so cold and lifeless in mine, how his skin was so pale it was almost translucent. His golden honey eyes stood out against his sunken, dead face, yet his thin lips seemed so pink and soft. His wispy brown hair fell in his face.
Even the clothes he was wearing were unique and amazing. He looked like he belonged in Vegas; his white dress shirt underneath a crimson red vest adorned with roses, chains hanging down across the front, and a matching red sash tied around his waist.
Underneath he wore simple black pants that showed just how small and skinny he was. I didn’t think it was possible for any living person to look that malnourished.
Everything about him screamed “fragile”, but there was also an underlying sense of extraordinary something about him. I didn’t know what it was, but something wasn’t right about the way he looked, felt, and acted.
While I lay in bed, forcing my eyes shut in a vain attempt of sleep, I could not tear my thoughts from his gorgeous face and strange attitude.
Even though I was somewhat afraid of him, I couldn’t help but wish to see the man again. He intrigued me, whether I liked it tor not. Even just knowing his name would be so important to me.
I know you don't understand, but you don't need to
That's what frustrated me the most. All I wanted was to understand, I didn't like the confusion I felt.
Ryan's POV
It'd been about two hours since he had run away from me, and I still couldn't wipe the grin off my face. I was back in the middle of the city, skipping around the streets and just generally not acting anything like myself.
Usually, I would be withdrawn. Usually, I would feel empty. Usually I would feel sad. Usually, I would sit on the sidelines and observe.
Tonight was not a usual night.
Tonight, I didn't want to just observe, I wanted to be a part of the madness. I wanted to watch the people gamble, laugh at the drunks stumbling around and trying to seduce each other. I wanted to feel the city, the way I'd felt Brendon.
I thought my dead heart beat with the city before, but now it was like the lights and the people, everything was literally rushing through my veins in place of the blood that was once there all those years ago.
I ran through the streets, quickly finding that there was no limit to my energy. I hadn't ever pushed myself, not since I'd died. But I felt so alive, I felt so... real, and I wondered why I hadn't tried this before. Then again, I hadn't ever met Brendon before, and he seemed to be the only one who could make me feel like this.
He wasn't the one making me feel alive... but he was the one giving me the opportunity to feel alive. I was feeling. And though I wasn't truly touching anything, when you really think about it, there's not too much of a difference.
I could physically feel the emotions in me, I could physically feel the excitement. It was like being born, everything is new and fresh. You just can't wait to try it all.
I stood still again, breathing hard simply because it felt right, not because I needed the oxygen. It didn't enter my body anyway.
I watched a particularly amusing group of happy drunks stumble around, making jokes and laughing at anything and everything.
I was like their energy played off of me. For the first time, I felt like I belonged.
No, it was more than that. I didn't just belong in Vegas. I wasn't simply in Vegas, I was a part of Vegas.
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay... so I'm gonna say the same thing I said when I posted a chapter of Wonderland last night, only shorter. I am SO SORRY I didn't get this chapter up sooner, my parents have kept me busy, and I've been having troubles with my legs. Starting next week, my parents are sending me to camp for three weeks, then after that I only have a few days before school starts again. So hopefully this won't be the last update before then, but I make no promises.Aaaaaanyway... THANK YOU for reading :3 I know only like... 2 people actually read this, but I appreciate it! Comment? Tell me if anything needs fixing?
-Clara :D