Quiet Desperation

Brendon's POV

I saw him again last night. Him. I'm really not sure what to think, my mind is in this perpetual spiral of confusion. There was a moment of clarity last night, as I looked him right in the eyes, and somehow saw through them at the same time.

It was like we were on the same brainwave, like we both just understood, even though neither of us do.

But it's gone now. I have so many more questions, and so many less answers. It just about consumes my brain.

"Hey Bren?" Spencer again. He was... concerned about me, to say the least. "How are you feeling today?" I'd given up on answering him after about five times. This had to be at least the hundredth time he'd asked me that question today.

"Brendon, I'm here for you." He paused, almost as if he were waiting for the answer he knew wasn't coming. "You know that, right?" He honestly thought I was crazy. I think he called a therapist earlier.

"Alright, Bren. I'm gonna leave you alone." He sounded hesitant. I knew he didn't want to leave me. Though, I'm not quite sure what exactly he was afraid of; it's not like I was gonna go off myself or something, I was just being contemplative.

"Come and talk with me later, yeah?" Again, he waited for the answer that wasn't going to happen. He seemed almost more involved in my situation than I was... and if it isn't good for me to be so involved, it definitely isn't healthy for him.

He walked out of the room dejectedly, like he was incredibly disappointed. It was almost like I had insulted him by not accepting his "help" all the thousand times he's offered it today.

"Hey, Bren?"

"Oh my god, Spencer! Get a life and leave me the fuck alone!" I was started to get really annoyed with him, almost willing to actually turn over and look at him, when I heard a giggle.

It wasn't Spencer, it was Ryan.

"Hey, I may be a freak, but I come in peace!" he giggled again. It was kinda cute...

"H-hey, Ryan?" I didn't mean for it to come out like a question, but the confusion was starting up again, even more. I opened my eyes, turning around until my eyes fell upon the strange man sitting cross-legged at the end of my bed.

"Yup, your friendly neighborhood ghost, at your service!" He held his hands out, a goofy smile on his face.

I sat up slowly, rubbing the crust out of my eyes. When I stretched, my bones cracked and my muscles were groaning in protest from not moving all day.

"So Ryan... what brings you to my apartm-" how did he know where I lived?

"Ryan? How did you find out this is where I live?"

"Like I said, Bren. You can find out a lot of things when you can walk around Vegas without being seen." That smile was still on his face. It was like a little kid's smile, innocent and bright. He looked adorable, like a seven year old on Christmas day.

"I guess that would help..." I mumbled. He giggled again, his eyes scrunching up as he held his hand over his mouth.

"And to answer your question, Bear, I'm here becau-"

"Bear?" a new nickname, I suppose? I don't think anyone's ever called me bear before...

"Yeah, Bear. You can be my Brenny Bear! Unless... you don't like it?" the grin on his face fell immediately, and all of a sudden I could barely see him. I had to squint my eyes to make out his features. Although, I swear I saw a single tear fall from his eye onto the sheets and leave a wet mark.

"No, no! I love it!" I pulled myself out of the sheets I'd been buried under, and reached out for his hand. The second our hands touched, a gasp made it's way out of Ryan's mouth.

His tears stopped immediately, and he looked up at me. He became fully visible, even more than before. Almost like normal...

"Hey Brendon, I just wanted to check in on y-" Spencer pushed the door open, looking startled and staring at Ryan. "Wh-who the hell is that?"

"You... you can see him?" Ryan was visible to Spencer now?

"Well of course I fucking ca-" his face looked even more shocked now. It was like he'd seen a ghost. Oh wait! He had!

"Um, Brendon? Is your, uh... friend? supposed to disappear like that?" Spencer's voice was shaky, like he wasn't sure of anything.

"What the fuck..." He managed to mutter those few words before shaking his head and backing out of the room again, and closing the door.

"Brenny Bear?" a crooked smile made it's way onto Ryan's face as he spoke. "I think something weird just happened..."

"Yeah, Ryan. Ya think?"