Something From The Heart

It was the graduation day for University of Bottomfall. Families and friends from far and near came to celebrate that day. Parents were proud of their kids, while the graduates were relieved that the days of long, hard studies have finally come to an end.

In the midst of joyful faces, there was a guy who didn't look happy at all. He was staring at the sky, hoping to see something...

Someone.

His family and friends came of course. They were swollen with pride for he was the best graduate of the year but he had excused himself from them. He wanted to be alone.

Just for a while.

Somebody came and touched his shoulder gently. He turned sideways and relaxed when he saw it was Taylor, his family doctor. They were pretty good friends, at least, they started being good friends after...

The young boy sighed, turning his attention back to the sky, searching. Taylor watched his face, smiling, understanding.

"So have you made your speech yet, Nathaniel?" the forty-five year old doctor asked, breaking the silence.

Nathaniel shrugged. "I can't think of anything to say. My mind is just too tired to think. Besides, I'm never good with speeches anyway." He made a face.

The doctor smiled at him yet again, making him look so much younger than his real age. "Speeches are supposed to come from the heart, not the mind." He turned to leave and added, "I'm sure your heart has something to tell. There's nothing wrong with sharing it with other people, isn't it?"

Nathaniel watched him go. 'Something from the heart?' he thought to himself as he looked back into the sky.

..::..::..::..::..

"Now that the certificates are given to all graduates, I'd like to invite our best student of the year, Nathaniel Hanson, to give a speech."

The crowd cheered as Nathaniel got up onto the stage. He adjusted the microphone a bit before starting, "Good evening to everyone and a thousand congrats to all graduates. I, um, well, haven't made any preparation for this speech." He rubbed the back of his neck and gave a small laugh as he added, "You could say I'm just speechless."

The hall was filled with silent laughter and grins. Taylor smiled and gave him a thumb's up. Nathaniel saw him and looked down at the microphone. 'Something from the heart?'

An image of a face came to his mind. Suddenly he understood; finally he knew what to say. 'Rose.'

Before he could stop himself, he was speaking; the words flowing out of his mouth. "I want to dedicate this speech to my late sister, Rose. Well, actually, I just want to tell about her life a bit." He cleared his throat and looked up. It seemed like the hall had became very quiet. When his eyes met Taylor's, the doctor raised an eyebrow curiously.

"My sister was born six years before me. Since she had such red hair and rosy cheeks, she was named Rose." He paused for a while, then continued a little bitterly, "I never liked my sister though. She was so mean, such a bully. Always telling me and my two little brothers to do this and that. She would make us boys do the dishes, cook, wash our own clothes, all in turn. She never let even one of us miss a turn, and if we did, she'd start complaining. I never liked the way she treated us, and in the beginning, I never wondered why she does it. She was just horrible!"

He took a breath, closing his eyes, and try to relax himself. It was true: he hated his sister. The image was back. The redhead with stern yet beautiful emerald eyes, always frowning, always whining, lecturing, complaining, yelling.

..::..::..::..::..::..

Nathaniel opened his eyes. A pair of green eyes were glaring at him from the door of his room. He glared back.

"What do you want now, Rose?" he growled. "I'm just home from school. Can't you give me a break?!"

"No shit!" Rose snapped. "You're making dinner tonight, so get you lazy ass up before I make you." She turned to leave.

He sat on his bed and shouted, "Why do I have to cook?! It's girl stuff, not boys. You are the one who should be doing it!"

But his sister retorted coldly, 'Mom's dead. If you think I'm going to do all the housework, you're dead wrong," and she was gone.

::..::..::..::..::..::

He smirked. "Well, I did run away a few times, but she would persistently hunt me down and drag me back home. When I ask her why, she just snapped back and told me again that there's no way she was cooking. It was my turn, and I must do it." he chuckled.

"I always think she's pretty crazy. She never listens to anyone, even dad can't control her. She was really one of a kind."

He paused again. "There was this one time when I just started high school; there was this camping trip and the girls were given the task of cooking while the boys did the tents and find firewood. I was so relieved because it was the first time I didn't have to cook. But the girls actually messed up with the food. I was aghast!"

..::..::..::..::..::..

"You've got to be kidding me! You call this cooking? Hell, it tastes like old shoes!!" A boy complained, glaring at the girls.

One of the girls shouted back. "If you're so good why don't you cook? I know for one thing that boys are worse at cooking than girls!" she smirked. The other girls agreed.

Insulted, Nathaniel glowered, "Oh, please. I guarantee you, I can cook ten times better than any of you girls!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Sure as hell!"

"Prove it!"

So he did cook. And all the girls were speechless afterward. Even the teacher praised his cooking.

"Man, this is heavenly!"

"Yeah, where did you learn to cook like this?"

He almost said 'my sister', but he was too prideful to actually think that his sister had, in reality, taught him something useful.

"I'm just a guy with many talents." He had grinned proudly, pushing the thought of Rose out of his mind.

::..::..::..::..::..::

"Finally I turned out to be a cook instructor. And after the camping, a lot of girls started liking me for my many talents, especially cooking. I never said it but... it was all thanks to my sister. I was too proud to go and thank her afterward, so our relationship just continued with all those fights and shouts." He smiled and the people laughed.

He became serious again. "However, the worst fight came when I got offered to this university. I was glad that she won't be bossing me around and actually told her so."

..::..::..::..::..::..

Nathaniel was at the airport, smiling and chatting proudly to his friends and family relatives. At the corner of his eyes, he saw Rose staring at him. He glanced at her, but for a moment, just a split of a second, he thought he saw sadness in her eyes. He gawked at her in disbelief. Did he just saw it right?

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Missing me already?" she smirked.

In an instant, his gaping face altered to a glare. "Pah! As if! It's more like I'm relieved beyond words that I won't be seeing you anymore! No more listening to you, hearing your voice, seeing your ass face! No more bossing, yelling, bullying! It's heavenly, I tell you!" he jeered, making a blissful face and waited for her to start her usual shouting; her face would turn bright red, her ears steaming, and she'd burst his ears out with her loud yelling. Well, it'll be the last time he'd ever hear from her.

He can surely live with it for one more time.

However, it didn't happen. There was only silence. He opened his eyes to look at her and froze. He saw, for the first time, a look of hurt crossing Rose's face. But she covered it up quickly by snorting and walking away from him, saying steely,

"Whatever."

::..::..::..::..::..::

"It was the first time she didn't yell back, and the last time she ever talked to me. She never spoke to me when I phoned home either. It took a long time to realize that she was truly wounded by what I had last said to her."

Nathaniel heaved a sigh. His heart was aching, pained. He continued quietly, "I never had a chance to say sorry. It just happened too fast. Two years ago..."

..::..::..::..::..::..

His cell rang.

"Hello, hi dad! What's up?"

"Nathan, you must come home quickly!" his father's voice was frantic.

His heart skipped a beat. "What's wrong, dad?"

"Your sister, Rose. She- she's dying. She's at the hospital."

"What?! What happened? An accident?"

"No- oh, it's a long story. Just get home ASAP!"

"I'll try and get the earliest flight." And his father hung up. He was speechless. Rose is dying? Why?

He was home by noon the next day and went straight to the hospital. There, he found his father, two brothers and Taylor beside her bed. She was sickly white, all her rosy color gone, and there was wires and medical devices all around her. Slowly, he touched her hand. It was ghostly cold, pale, weak...

And dying.

"Wh- what's wrong with Rose?"

Taylor looked at him and his brothers. "Nathaniel, everyone, I'm sorry. The truth is, Rose has an odd tumor in her brain. She had it ever since she was four. Only your father, late mother and Rose herself knew about this. Rose wouldn't let us tell you three about it."

"Since she was four?! And you never tried to cure her?" he asked in disbelief.

"We can't. If we take out the tumor, the chances of her dying was too high. She didn't want to either. The doctors estimated she could live for, at most, 5 years. But somehow, the tumor actually stopped growing. So she had lived longer. And this past two years, it had grown back. We realized the growth after she fainted yesterday. She's been in a coma for twenty-four hours now," Taylor paused, looking at them one by one. "She won't make it."

The doctor's last words left him feeling cold and almost breathless.

::..::..::..::..::..::

"I couldn't believe my ears. It was too much of a shock. All this time I've lived with her, all these years of fighting and yelling, and I never had the slightest clue that she's been living on the edge of her death. She died three days later, still in a coma. No goodbyes."

A few women had started crying. The hall was full of grief. His brothers and father were staring down, remembering. Taylor was staring at him quietly, a mixture of emotions in his eyes.

..::..::..::..::..::..

The funeral was over. Everyone started to leave. Nathaniel had asked to be left alone. He stared at his sister's grave, wounded, angered, sadden.

"Why didn't you tell me, Rose? WHY?!" he yelled suddenly, his fists shaking uncontrollably. But it was no use. No one was going to answer him. No one...

"She didn't want you to remember her." A voice said from the back. It was Taylor. He came and stood beside him.

Nathaniel looked down. "But why?"

"Because she loves you too much." The doctor said quietly. "Rose had lived in fright knowing she would die just about anytime. But then, your mother got pregnant with you. I still remember her face and what she had said when she first took you in her arms. She was staring at your sleeping face for a long time and didn't say a word. At first your parents and I thought she didn't like you, but then, she just opened her mouth and said, 'It seems like I must live longer. I want to see him grow up.' It was childish, but- oh, your mother cried. Rose never seemed afraid afterwards."

"But why did she treated me and Max and Ronnie like that?" Nathaniel asked in a wavering voice, the tears threatening to fall.

"I asked her that myself. She loved and pampered you and your brothers when you guys were little. But after your mother's death, she changed and started being a bully. I asked her why she was being so mean. You know what she said?" Taylor turned to look at the young boy beside him. He was still staring at the ground and just shook his head slightly.

"She said; 'If they don't learn to do all this things themselves, what will happen to them when I die? Who will cook and take care of them? They have to learn and do it now.'"

"But she didn't need to be so harsh." Nathaniel denied.

"I know. I told her not to, but again she just said; 'If I'm harsh to them, when I die, they won't miss me that much. Nobody will miss me. So I don't have to worry about people crying in front of my grave.'"

He couldn't hold his tears anymore. They flow down his cheeks like a broken dam.

"I can't believe she said such thing, that idiot!" He choked in a whisper. "No matter how much we fight, no matter how much we yell, she's still my sister, she'll always be my sister, and there's nothing in this world that can make me hate her..." the words trailed.

Nathan rubbed his eyes fruitlessly, the tears just wouldn't stop. Finally he gave up, whispering weakly, "I really hate you, Rose."

Taylor stared at him in sympathy before turning his head to look at Rose's grave. 'There's just nothing you can do to make him hate you Rose, or forget you.' He thought sadly.

::..::..::..::..::..::

"There were no last goodbyes." Nathaniel continued, closing his eyes. Sobs were getting louder but he let his mind drifted to his sister.

She's so cruel, so mean, and yet so beautiful that a lot of guys were crazy about her. Nonetheless, she was cold towards them, towards everyone. All because she knew, she would be gone. Not wanting anyone to touch the barrier of her heart. Not even her own family.

"But,"

Nathaniel continued in a firmer voice, breaking the silent and sad atmosphere.

"But I know one thing for sure. Even though how much we fight, hurt each other and yell, we're family, and she had forgiven me." Nathaniel looked up and towards all the faces, one by one; his father, brothers, Taylor. He ended softly.

"I know because, it is just something we, as family, as siblings share; that is, something from the heart. Thank you."

He left the stage and went down. No one applauded. But he didn't care, nor needed it. For he knew, he had told them and they all had understood.

He looked at the sky, wishing again:

Something from the heart.