Status: One Shot
He Loves Me.
Forever.
He loves me.
"This isn't working out,"
He loves me.
"Darby, I'm sorry,"
He loves me.
"Please just listen, show me your listening, Darby please."
He loves me.
"It just isn't working okay? I want to still be friends, I care about
you alot and everything... But this is just too much now."
He loves me.
"I have to go... I just... I have too."
He loves me.
But he left me. Standing here, in the grass, in my socks, that are
getting damp now from the wetness of the stupid soil. I came outside
of my house to see my boyfriend, who texted me at 11:30 at night
telling me to come outside. I thought it was gonna be some cute
surprise, I was wrong.
But, he loves me.
I love him, more than anything. He can't leave me. I don't know what
to do without him. God damn, it's cold out here. I really should've put
shoes on. Or a jacket. Or come inside now, But I can't move. I'm
frozen. Too stunned to move. Too heartbroken.
He loves me.
I don't know how. Don't know why. But he does. I love him too. He
makes me happy. He makes me feel alive. He gives me a reason to breathe.
Alex Gaskarth loves me.
Since day one, he's loved me. Since the day we met... That's what he
always told me. Since we were 13. It's been 4 years... He can't stop
loving me now. Not like this. Oh god, not now.
Alex loves me.
I know he does. He tells me so everyday. He loves me so much, he could
never hurt me, never leave me. But he just did. 4 years was blown away
in 3 minutes. He dumped me. He left me. He's gone.
But... Alex loves me.
More than anyone else. He cares. He knows. He's there for me, always.
He swore he'd never let me down.
He lied.
I never thought he would do this to me. I thought it'd be like this
forever. I thought he'd love me forever. Dear god, what happened?
He broke me.
I'm broken. I'm crying. Silently, freezing in my socks in my front
yard. I collapsed. My whole body is frozen. Numb. My clothes are
getting damp. My shorts from the grass, my shirt from my tears. I
can't do this.
He's gone.
But he can't be. He can't be gone. No no no. Please no. I can't
breathe. I can't breathe. I cannot breathe. I need him. Get up. I tell
myself to get off the ground, but my legs are like cement, I can't
move at all. I can't can't can't can't do this.
He loves me.
The last four years have been the best times of my life. I have never
pictured my life without him in it. He needs to come back to me. He
can't leave me. Not now. Not like this. Not so fast. He wouldn't do
this to me. How could he do this to me?
"Alex I love you... Please come back."
I whisper it to no one. No one hears me. It's so cold. I need to go
back inside. I still can't move though. I shut my eyes tight. We're
together. Me and Alex. He's holding my hand. He loves me. He promises
he won't let go.
"I love you."
He tells me. I love him too.
"Darby..."
I hear, but it's not his voice. It's not my Alex's voice. It's my
moms. Why is she outside? Did she notice I wasn't in my room? I don't
want to open my eyes.
"Wake up, Darby."
I wasn't asleep. Was I?
"Darby, come on. You have to get ready."
I don't want to open them. I don't want to get ready... Wait, get
ready for what? I open my eyes a little bit. I'm not in the grass
anymore. I'm not cold or wet anymore. I'm laying in my room, on my
bed. How?
"Wh- get ready for what?"
That's all I can say. I don't know what's going on. Was it a dream?
Please tell me it was a dream. Alex is still here for me, please.
"You know what for, come on Darby, get up."
My mother is standing at my door, waiting. Watching me.
"No...I don't. Get ready for what?"
She sighs. She comes and sits down on my bed. Her eyes are red.
Glassy. What's wrong?
"Darby... You know what for, Today is Alex's funeral."
My heart drops. Plummets. Falls. She's crazy. I just saw him. He's
fine. He loves me.
"N-No... No. What are you talking about?"
That's crazy. He's fine. All he did was leave me. But he's okay. I
know he is. He has to be.
"Darby, stop. You know today is his funeral. You know it, so stop."
Stop saying funeral. Alex can't have a funeral, he isn't dead. He is
17. He is alive. He is fine. He broke my heart. But he is fine.
"He dumped me mom, he didn't die. He just left me. He... He... Stop
it. Shut up. Just shut up."
I can't breathe again. Why is she saying such bullshit? Why is she
lying to me? All he did was dump me. He is still alive. He's still here.
"Oh god. No Darby. Come on stop acting like this, please stop."
She is going to cry, I can hear it in her voice. Why is she lying to
me? Why would she say that? Why. Why. Why. Why?
"N-No, what are you even talking about? He just left me... We broke up
he's fine. Stop lying to me."
She shakes her head. She doesn't speak. She just keeps on shaking her
head. My head is pounding. My heart is thumping. My hands are shaking.
No. No. No.
"I'm so sorry Darby. You know... You know that Alex died, it was an
accident baby.... It was 4 days ago now..."
No. She's wrong. She doesn't know, he broke up with me. That's all. He
left me. He dumped me. He's alive though. He's okay.
"No."
She nods. My teeth clench. My fist tighten. No. No. No.
"Yes, on Thursday. You were in the car Darby, please stop this."
No I wasn't. What is she saying? He has never been in an accident in
his whole entire life. My mother is a liar.
"What?"
"He crashed. You weren't hurt thank god. He didn't make it. Please
Darby stop it. I don't know why I'm playing along with this, You know
this already. Stop playing games, You have to get ready."
Playing games? I'm not. He's not. There wasn't a crash. He wasn't
hurt. This isn't real. I'm asleep. I fell asleep in the grass.
"He's not dead. Not Alex. Mom, stop it."
She hugs me softly. I stiffen. I don't want her hugs. I want Alex. I
want him to show my mom he is okay, even if we broke up. He is okay.
"Stop it honey. He's gone."
He isn't gone. Not Alex. Oh god not my Alex. I just saw him. He just
left me. He just told me he had to go. Alex is okay. We just broke up.
That's all. He's okay. Oh god, he's okay. I know he's okay. He is fine.
He is alive. He didn't get hurt. He didn't crash. We didn't crash. He
isn't dead. He isn't gone. He isn't hurt. He is out there, without me.
Alive, I know it. She is so terribly wrong.
"But-"
He loves me.
"This isn't working out,"
He loves me.
"Darby, I'm sorry,"
He loves me.
"Please just listen, show me your listening, Darby please."
He loves me.
"It just isn't working okay? I want to still be friends, I care about
you alot and everything... But this is just too much now."
He loves me.
"I have to go... I just... I have too."
He loves me.
But he left me. Standing here, in the grass, in my socks, that are
getting damp now from the wetness of the stupid soil. I came outside
of my house to see my boyfriend, who texted me at 11:30 at night
telling me to come outside. I thought it was gonna be some cute
surprise, I was wrong.
But, he loves me.
I love him, more than anything. He can't leave me. I don't know what
to do without him. God damn, it's cold out here. I really should've put
shoes on. Or a jacket. Or come inside now, But I can't move. I'm
frozen. Too stunned to move. Too heartbroken.
He loves me.
I don't know how. Don't know why. But he does. I love him too. He
makes me happy. He makes me feel alive. He gives me a reason to breathe.
Alex Gaskarth loves me.
Since day one, he's loved me. Since the day we met... That's what he
always told me. Since we were 13. It's been 4 years... He can't stop
loving me now. Not like this. Oh god, not now.
Alex loves me.
I know he does. He tells me so everyday. He loves me so much, he could
never hurt me, never leave me. But he just did. 4 years was blown away
in 3 minutes. He dumped me. He left me. He's gone.
But... Alex loves me.
More than anyone else. He cares. He knows. He's there for me, always.
He swore he'd never let me down.
He lied.
I never thought he would do this to me. I thought it'd be like this
forever. I thought he'd love me forever. Dear god, what happened?
He broke me.
I'm broken. I'm crying. Silently, freezing in my socks in my front
yard. I collapsed. My whole body is frozen. Numb. My clothes are
getting damp. My shorts from the grass, my shirt from my tears. I
can't do this.
He's gone.
But he can't be. He can't be gone. No no no. Please no. I can't
breathe. I can't breathe. I cannot breathe. I need him. Get up. I tell
myself to get off the ground, but my legs are like cement, I can't
move at all. I can't can't can't can't do this.
He loves me.
The last four years have been the best times of my life. I have never
pictured my life without him in it. He needs to come back to me. He
can't leave me. Not now. Not like this. Not so fast. He wouldn't do
this to me. How could he do this to me?
"Alex I love you... Please come back."
I whisper it to no one. No one hears me. It's so cold. I need to go
back inside. I still can't move though. I shut my eyes tight. We're
together. Me and Alex. He's holding my hand. He loves me. He promises
he won't let go.
"I love you."
He tells me. I love him too.
"Darby..."
I hear, but it's not his voice. It's not my Alex's voice. It's my
moms. Why is she outside? Did she notice I wasn't in my room? I don't
want to open my eyes.
"Wake up, Darby."
I wasn't asleep. Was I?
"Darby, come on. You have to get ready."
I don't want to open them. I don't want to get ready... Wait, get
ready for what? I open my eyes a little bit. I'm not in the grass
anymore. I'm not cold or wet anymore. I'm laying in my room, on my
bed. How?
"Wh- get ready for what?"
That's all I can say. I don't know what's going on. Was it a dream?
Please tell me it was a dream. Alex is still here for me, please.
"You know what for, come on Darby, get up."
My mother is standing at my door, waiting. Watching me.
"No...I don't. Get ready for what?"
She sighs. She comes and sits down on my bed. Her eyes are red.
Glassy. What's wrong?
"Darby... You know what for, Today is Alex's funeral."
My heart drops. Plummets. Falls. She's crazy. I just saw him. He's
fine. He loves me.
"N-No... No. What are you talking about?"
That's crazy. He's fine. All he did was leave me. But he's okay. I
know he is. He has to be.
"Darby, stop. You know today is his funeral. You know it, so stop."
Stop saying funeral. Alex can't have a funeral, he isn't dead. He is
17. He is alive. He is fine. He broke my heart. But he is fine.
"He dumped me mom, he didn't die. He just left me. He... He... Stop
it. Shut up. Just shut up."
I can't breathe again. Why is she saying such bullshit? Why is she
lying to me? All he did was dump me. He is still alive. He's still here.
"Oh god. No Darby. Come on stop acting like this, please stop."
She is going to cry, I can hear it in her voice. Why is she lying to
me? Why would she say that? Why. Why. Why. Why?
"N-No, what are you even talking about? He just left me... We broke up
he's fine. Stop lying to me."
She shakes her head. She doesn't speak. She just keeps on shaking her
head. My head is pounding. My heart is thumping. My hands are shaking.
No. No. No.
"I'm so sorry Darby. You know... You know that Alex died, it was an
accident baby.... It was 4 days ago now..."
No. She's wrong. She doesn't know, he broke up with me. That's all. He
left me. He dumped me. He's alive though. He's okay.
"No."
She nods. My teeth clench. My fist tighten. No. No. No.
"Yes, on Thursday. You were in the car Darby, please stop this."
No I wasn't. What is she saying? He has never been in an accident in
his whole entire life. My mother is a liar.
"What?"
"He crashed. You weren't hurt thank god. He didn't make it. Please
Darby stop it. I don't know why I'm playing along with this, You know
this already. Stop playing games, You have to get ready."
Playing games? I'm not. He's not. There wasn't a crash. He wasn't
hurt. This isn't real. I'm asleep. I fell asleep in the grass.
"He's not dead. Not Alex. Mom, stop it."
She hugs me softly. I stiffen. I don't want her hugs. I want Alex. I
want him to show my mom he is okay, even if we broke up. He is okay.
"Stop it honey. He's gone."
He isn't gone. Not Alex. Oh god not my Alex. I just saw him. He just
left me. He just told me he had to go. Alex is okay. We just broke up.
That's all. He's okay. Oh god, he's okay. I know he's okay. He is fine.
He is alive. He didn't get hurt. He didn't crash. We didn't crash. He
isn't dead. He isn't gone. He isn't hurt. He is out there, without me.
Alive, I know it. She is so terribly wrong.
"But-"
He loves me.
♠ ♠ ♠
I am not sure how I feel about this one yet... so please comment...I'm sorry if it was confusing, here's the jist : She told herself that he didn't die, he broke up with her. That's why he was gone, he dumped her, not because he actually died... That was her way of dealing with it, telling herself it wasn't true....okay? Please comment... Don't worry Teenage Dirtbag Baby is still very active...*EDIT: This one was edited as well, so many mistakes.... Teenage Dirtbad is no longer active...but that is irrelevant, comment? I love you.