Status: Complete

Dreams of Someone

Beginning of the End

Ryan Reid

"I'm not ready for this commitment, angel. I just... can't." I didn't know how else to put it. I loved her with all my heart, but this was just too much for me.

Rachel looked at me sadly, and I felt a sharp pang in my heart. Confusion and hurt were written all over her face. "You can't, or you won't? You know what? If your not ready for this, then I don't know what you are ready for..."

Excuse me? This is coming from the girl who refuses to make plans ahead of time... who willnever commit to anything long-term if she can help it... and she thinks I'm not ready for us? "What's that supposed to mean? That just because I'm not ready to take this step right now... not ready to fully commit... it means I'm not ready for anything?" That was a step too far maybe... but I was beyond rational thought now. Rachel had pushed this where it didn't need to go.

"No! That's not..." Rachel's eyes widened in shock and she spluttered, trying to undo her words. Too late, angel.

"Well then... I guess that means I'm not ready to continue this relationship, huh?" I spat the words angrily at her pale, freckled face.

"Ryan... Ryan, no..." I could see tears beginning to form in her beautiful deep blue eyes. And I didn't care.

"Yeah, I guess neither of us are ready. Yeah... sorry Rachel. This is over. I'm not dealing with this." I turned around to leave the cold apartment, but she grabbed my shirt sleeve, desperately trying to hold on.

"Ryan," Rachel choked out the words, like they were hurting her to speak them, "please... don't go. You don't have to. We don't have to commit. We can just be us. Please."

It's different now... I don't know when it changed, but we're different. Too different. I turned and looked at my angel with steely, cold eyes. My newly-fallen angel. "No, Rachel. It's done. Goodbye."

I turned and left her behind.

---

All I can remember of the next couple days are a blur of random scenes and images. After the fight, I'd dragged myself to Tina's, the local bar, and ordered myself tequila shots until I was properly drunk and forgot about the pain. Alcohol is good at numbing pain like that. It was around one in the morning when I finally stepped off of my stool and began trudging towards the exit.

Halfway there white spots began to dance at the edge of my vision and I fought against the urge to pass out onto the alcohol soaked floorboards, grabbing onto anything and everything as I tried to remain upright. Just as I was about to lose consciousness completely, I felt warm, soft hands grab me under my arms and hall me into a chair. Dazed and confused, my head lolled to the side as a severe headache throbbed behind my eyes. I groaned.

"Oh, you poor, poor baby," a voice murmured above me. Is it an angel? I couldn't tell what was reality anymore. I didn't want to remember my reality. Rachel... My angel...she's gone. Fallen. And I don't know where...

I must have blacked out somewhere in there, because I recall waking up suddenly in a bright, white apartment bedroom. On a really, really fluffy bed. I was still dressed in the same ratty clothes as the day before: a plain faded blue t-shirt and ripped black jeans. A ran a hand through my spiky brown and hair and tried to sit up. "Oh!" I heard a quiet voice exclaim from somewhere next to me. "You're awake!"

I squinted my eyes slightly, not used to the bright light yet and looked over at a petite red-head sitting in a red leather armchair. She had bright greenish-gray eyes that seemed kind and gentle, yet piercing to your very core and the girl used them to subtly check me out. I smiled, and she blushed when she realized I knew what she was doing. This mystery girl seemed strangely familiar... Where have I seen you before? I wondered to myself.

Keeping her eyes to the floor, still embarrassed, she murmured softly, "How are you feeling? Do you need some Advil or something?"

I yawned quietly and pulled myself out of the covers and onto the edge of the bed. "I'm going surprisingly good," I said. "By the way, how did I get here? I don't remember much after the bar... did you drug me?" I asked playfully. She giggled. God, that was cute.

"No, nothing like that. I just brought you here because you wouldn't say where you lived," she said, a little louder this time as if she was gaining confidence as we went. "You know, you were pretty drunk. I think you'd been sitting in there for hours..." She trailed off, her unasked question hanging in the air.

"I had some... forgetting to take care of," I said, trying not to give anything away about Rachel. "It's been a rough couple days." I sighed. And dropped my gaze to the perfectly shined floorboards, trying to hold back tears as the past twenty-four hours finally sank in. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her looking at me sympathetically.

"My name's Samantha Dawson." I heard her whisper. A light went off in my head. I knew that name. But where? I searched through my memories, and finally got it. The bright red hair, usually pulled back in a tight ponytail, the green eyes... but I'd only seen them in Rach... her pictures. I winced as I mentally stuttered over her name. But I'd remembered what I needed.

Samantha was the name of Rachel's college roommate.

I groaned internally. It was going so well, too. Wait... they haven't talked in a while have they? I searched my mind, trying to remember. No, I thought to myself, Rachel said they'd lost touch over the years... This just might work. But it was risky. Extremely risky. But I was already in too deep and I didn't want to turn back now.

I looked up, with a grin beginning to seep into my features once again. My revelation had happened in less than ten seconds. "Nice to meet you, Sam. May I call you Sam? I'm Ryan. Ryan Reid. And I think I should take you to lunch just to thank you for all of your kindness today."
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YES! FINALLY! IT IS HERE! *punches air with fists in victory* So sorry for the long wait!
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