Dreams of Someone

Jason Lane

"Why did you come back?" The words escaped from my lips as soon as I turned the lock of my door. I turned around to face her, the thoughts churning inside my head. Does she miss me? Does she need money? Why two years? Why now? I lead her to the living room and we both sat down; she perched herself on the armchair and I went and sat on my couch. We were separated by the wooden coffee table.

"I just thought..." Sam started, "I just thought it was...time."

I wondered what she meant by that, slowly going over her words in my mind. She had used the word time, and time had always been romantic to her. But as with all things, this just seemed too good to be true. And completely random. I sent a searching gaze in Sam's direction, trying to see if she was really telling the truth.

She looked different from the last time I saw her by the willow tree. Her hair was longer, for one, but it was also dyed a bright red color. It seemed strange, for I was used to her warm, auburn hair... but the brightness seemed more like her in a way.

"I see," I said, unable to find any lies on her face. I searched inside my head for something remotely interesting to say. "Where have you been all these years?"

"I moved to a different house, a bigger one, once I inherited money from my grandmother."

"Oh." The silence was awkward. We were both sitting stock still in our seats, our eyes cast downward; thinking about our lives, thinking about what to say next. The silence was filled with the shock of seeing each other again, the happiness of it all, and the pain of memories from two years past.

"You should know, though..." Sam said suddenly, but trailed off. My arms itched to hug her, to hold her - and I knew that I could never let her go. There were too many things that could never be forgotten.

"What?" Once again my mind flashed through thoughts and predictions. Was she dying? Does she want me back? Is she leaving me forever?

She could barely make eye contact with me. "I've been... seeing someone else."

My stomach dropped. Did she just come to hurt me again? That one seemed most likely. But then I remembered Rachel, and I knew that I was doing the same thing.

"Oh. I see." I said awkwardly.

"He's a nice guy. Works at a restaurant that he owns. His name's Ryan." Sam just seemed to be rambling on, possibly hoping to avoid some uncomfortable situations. But it was too late. Is it all too late?

"I think I know a Ryan," I stated as calmly as possible. "What's his last name?"

"Reid," she said quickly. "Ryan Reid."

"What?" I turned my head to the left to see Rachel standing in the doorway, a shocked expression all over her face. Maybe she's interpreting this the wrong way...

"R-Rachel," I stuttered, standing up to meet her. "You're back."

"Hello Jason," she said quickly, but then turned towards Samantha. "Sam?"

"Rachel," Sam said smoothly. She didn't ask any questions about Rachel, so I guessed that she already knew about our relationship. It filled me with relief that I didn't have to admit to her just yet. "It's been a while."

"I know," Rachel said. "I've always wondered where you ended up... I did mean to call..."

"Well, here I am," Sam replied, smiling slightly.

I sat there, staring at the two girls before me. They knew each other? I never knew that. But I had never really mentioned anything about Sam to Rachel - it was just too painful to remember at the time. Of course, Rachel knew that there was a her... just not by name. So we never made the connection.

"You said..." Rachel trailed off, with an unsaid question lingering in the air.

"What did I say?" Sam asked.

"Something - something about Ryan?"

Sam looked at Rachel differently. Searching. "Do you know him or something?"

"He... yeah. I knew him." Rachel's eyes were fixed on the keys in her hands.

"Wait," I said suddenly. "Can someone please tell me what's going on here?"

"Rachel was my college roommate," Sam explained hurriedly, still searching.

"Oh. Makes sense..." I mumbled, trying helplessly to get out of the uncomfortable situation.

"How do you know Ryan?" Rachel asked, interrupting my murmurs. "I mean, he knew about you from pictures and stuff, but..."

Sam shifted uncomfortably around in her seat, obviously feeling the emotions in the room beginning to clash. Rachel just stood there, waiting for an answer. "He and I... we're dating now, actually."

"You... you... what?"

Sam raised an eyebrow, her face showing worry and shock. Rachel was just standing there, her mouth wide open. I was nearly bursting with questions, but too afraid to speak them.

"Is that... bad?" Sam asked quietly.

"He was... he is... my ex." Rachel was taking deep breaths in between sentences, as if trying to calm herself. I could see she was struggling to hold herself together.

So that was it. Rachel's mysterious ex-boyfriend that broke her heart. She never mentioned him by name, but I knew about him in the same way she knew about Sam - an unspoken understanding.

There was irony in this situation. Rachel and I - both heartbroken, fled to each other. Sam and Ryan had broken our hearts... and now, they were together. Was it something that brought them together? A common situation?

"Why are you here?" Rachel asked, her words soft but filled with cutting intensity.

"I wanted to talk to Jason..." Sam said nervously. I knew she was afraid of this situation, just like I was.

"But he told me you didn't talk in nearly two years," Rachel pointed out coldly. "There has to be some reason you wanted to talk to him, right?" My stomach turned as I waited for Sam to respond.

"I used to date Jason," Sam said. Rachel shoots me a questioning look and I confirm it by nodding my head. "Have you told her the story before?"

"I...uh...no..." I stuttered.

"I made him a promise," Sam continued, her voice as quietly intense as Rachel's. "I told him that one day I would be back... and today, here I am."

Rachel shook her head, pain and anger written subtly in her features. "Has... umm... has he... has Ryan ever talked about me?"

"Never," Sam admitted. "I didn't know he knew you at all."

"I can't believe him," Rachel said, her voice thick with tears. I felt so sorry for my little angel... I don't want her hurt like I was. "Is there something wrong with me that makes him forget me completely?"

"I don't know," Sam said weakly. "I'm sorry."

"So what does this all mean?" Rachel asked, the anger building up inside of her again. She didn't look different from one moment to the next, but I could just tell - it was one of those things I picked up on after a couple months - when she has that voice you need to back away.

"It means," Sam said, her voice nearly a whisper as sensed Rachel's feelings boiling over, "that Jason has a choice."

"What?" I had gotten used to listening to them talk, back and forth, and the statement caught me off guard. I wasn't ready to make any choices. And what was my choice?

"I'm back now, Jason," Sam said. "But that doesn't mean you have to take me back. Hell, I probably wouldn't take me back. I know what I did to you, and I'm sorry."

"I don't know..."

"You could always just stay with Rachel," Sam suggested. So she does know. "I would."

I looked between the two of them and saw that they were more alike than I thought. Both petite, long hair, and button noses. Both with wonderfully bright eyes, and both intelligent and witty... and both of them had my love. I looked at each of their faces fleetingly, back and forth over and over, as they waited patiently. I could see the anxiety on their faces.

"I wish it wasn't this way," Rachel said. "I wish..."

But she really didn't know what she wished for. I didn't either. If I could have both, I would. But I can't.

"I think you need to talk to Ryan," Sam said. "He... we all need to sort everything out. It's been too long."

Rachel's eyes held mine as she whispered, "I guess so."

"Jason?"

It occurred to me that they were still waiting for an answer. I looked back and forth again, helplessly. And while I was turning my head, I realized that I never really had a choice at all. My decision would always be the same. I turned to the petite girl with pleading eyes, and spoke with sincerity I never knew I had.

"Rachel... I'm sorry."