We're Headed for Heartbreak

Dean glided the Impala into a parking spot in front of yet another skeevy, no-tell motel. "Wait with the car while I get us checked in," Dean said, opening his door and walking through the glass doors and up to the reception desk. Sam just nodded and stared at a part of the motel wall where the paint was chipping. When Dean started walking towards the car, Sam got out and grabbed his duffle from the trunk. The whole trip up here he'd been thinking about Dean's eyes, his arms, his voice... For some reason, Sam was somehow....attracted to those qualities of Dean. Not in a weird, lusting way though. Just admiration.......jealousy?Sam reminded himself in his head.

He and Dean walked side by side to their room. Dean's hand acidentally brushed
against Sam's, causing sparks all through Sam's nervous system. What the fuck is going on?!Sam yelled inwardly. He wanted to figure this out fast, because, to him, it was
more annoying than all hell. When Dean unlocked the door, Sam threw his duffle on the bed.

"I'm taking a shower," Sam informed Dean, who was currently spreading salt around the room. "I've still got your butchery of Metallica's 'Cyanide' stuck in my head. Talk about painful." Sam walked in the bathroom and shut the door.

"Aw, come on, Sammy. You know you love it!!" Dean shouted through the door. Sam chuckled as he turned the water on, undressed, and stepped in. The hot water relaxed his muscles, tense from being in close quarters with his brother for the last 35 hours. Sam started sifting through reasons to why only a few of his brother's qualities reached out and grabbed him. He gave up his fruitless efforts after 10 minutes and stepped out of the shower.

He just decided that he didn't know why he was attracted to those certain features of Dean. Maybe it was because his eyes could melt you with a glance, but, when you were angry, he could challenge you or cool you down immediately with a look. Maybe it was because his arms looked so welcoming when you were scared or hurt, yet could look ferocious and intimidating when he wanted something. Maybe it was because his voice could make you go weak at the knees when he was sad or vulnerable, but still be hard and demanding when he wasn't playing around. Maybe it was because Sam just was.

"Bout damn time," Dean proclaimed as Sam stepped out of the bathroom. "I thought you'd forgotten about me," he joked as he walked past Sam and towards the bathroom.

Fat chance of that ever happening anytime soon... Sam made the "if-you-only-knew" face, his back to his brother.

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Sam figured Dean would pick on him if he didn't take the guard duty with Madison. It was quite obvious that she liked him. So, he decided to take it because he cared about what his brother thought of him, I've never cared before... Sam sighed, not really surprised. He's started thinking more about his brother and what Dean thought of him, so much that it didn't take him off guard him anymore.

Guard duty went pretty much as he thought it would: boring as shit. Dean had just gone to check out Kurt's place. Madison had deciede to go to sleep. Sam just sat in the living room all night, feeling completely out of his element.

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They were fairly sure the treatment had worked. Dean said, "So, I’m just gonna head back to the hotel and…watch some Pay-Per-View or something." He pumped his fist towards Sam once, and left the room really quickly. No, Dean, don't.... --the door slammed. leave,

"Look, I'm sorry about Dean. He thinks with his downstairs brain most of the time," Sam apologized.

"Don't worry about it. He's right though. If you want it, you're gonna get some," Madison smirked before she backed Sam up against a wall and kissed him fiercely. Sam kissed back out of reflex, but he felt nothing. No lust, no love, no excitement...nothing. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he played along, kissing her back, treating her like she was someone he truly cared for.

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When she finally fell asleep, he just felt....weird. Sex has never felt so....awkward. Sam thought. He extricated himself from the sleeping woman beside him, got dressed and went to ponder the night on the couch. Women just don't....excite me anymore, Sam realized. Am I gay? No, I don't like any guys... A little voice from the recesses of Sam's mind spoke up, just two little words that threw Sam way off his mojo. Except Dean. Sam tried to squash that thought out of his mind, but he just couldn't get it to leave.