No One Knows

I tiredly rubbed my eyes as I walked into the press room. It was nearly empty except for a few newspaper and magazine crews sitting patiently in their seats, waiting for the new star player that would increase the revenue of the club. We were getting new players left and right, it was hectic for all the coordinators, me included, to get everything together for all the new players. There was never a dull day. Slow? Yes, but never dull.

I had found time to finally take a seat, groaning at the feeling of my legs growing heavy. The other coordinators were able to take over my job, I was more than grateful. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I took full advantage of the few minutes of rest I had. I felt someone walk by, but I wasn’t about to let that ruin my peace. The chatting got louder; my eyes trained themselves on the man that everyone was expecting. He had a bright smile and a confidence that exuded from him. He smiled at me, as the other coordinators flocked to him, batting their eyelashes and giggling wildly at his witty words.

I wasn’t the least bit impressed.

It was silent again, except for the music playing in the background. "You know..." Fernando started to say, I turned to look at him seeing him with a magazine in his paw like hands, "I haven't caught your name."

“That’s because I haven’t said it," A smirk made its way onto my face, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. He sucked in his bottom lip, flipping the page before turning to look at me.

“I’m F-” I stopped him, holding up my hand in front of his face. He was taken aback from the gesture but his gazed softened when he saw the small smile on my face.

“I know who you are. It’s my job,” He laughed, his face turning a bright pink before rubbing the back of his neck. I inwardly smiled, triumphant that I had such an effect on him.

He didn’t say another word as we sat in a comfortable silence. He would hum a tune of his own every now and then, distracting me from typing out the schedules of each player. Figuring he wasn’t leaving anytime soon, I finally turned to him, an innocent smile plastered on his face. My eyes automatically rolled, folding my arms across my chest as I stared at him. I was definitely not going to break myself down over those puppy dog eyes.

“Is there a reason why you’re still here?” I sucked in my cheeks, eyes narrowing at the blonde. He merely shrugged his shoulders, standing up from his seat on my desk; he turned back around, his palms flat against the dark wood.

“Are you going to tell me your name?” I laughed, shaking my head at him. He smirked, leaning forward as I crooked my finger at him.

“Are you always this persistent?” Fernando leaned back, scratching the top of his head in frustration.

“If I told you I will stop after you tell me, will you stop answering my question with a question?” The girls behind me laughed at our little banter. I turned in my seat to give them all glares; they turned back to their papers and computers quickly. Fernando laughed, the sound vibrating in my ears.

“If I told you to go away, will you stop asking me the same question?” He groaned in defeat, a hand running down his face as he looked down at me.

“¿Por qué tienes que ser tan terco?” (Why must you be so stubborn?) I raised an eyebrow at his rapid Spanish. My stomach fluttered from the words that had come from his mouth.

“¿Estoy haciendo enojar que usted tiene que hablar en español?” (Am I making you angry that you have to speak Spanish?) His eyes widened in surprised, but it was quickly replaced by a smirk that I have seen for the last few minutes he had been pestering me.

“Yo sabía tu nombre, Hanna. Yo sólo quería oír tu voz,” (I knew your name, Hanna. I just wanted to hear your voice) my jaw went slack. He tipped my chin up to close my mouth with his index and middle finger. The area he touched instantly tingled, the feeling lingering longer than I liked.

He lifted his hands off the table, hands shoving into his pockets before turning on his heel and walking away. I had a job to do and was thankful he was leaving, but a part of me was upset that he walked away. I turned my gaze back onto the computer. My thoughts kept revolving around the Spaniard, I couldn’t help myself. I had been able to control my feelings around all Liverpool players since I had started, but there was something about Fernando that made him different from everyone else.

His body grew smaller and smaller as he walked down the long hallway. I cursed myself for watching him so intently, even if it was his backside that I was staring at. He turned his head, looking in my direction. Even from a distance I could see a smug smile on his face.

I had been caught.

My face grew hot and I was embarrassed to say the least. No man has ever made me feel this way, not even my miniscule crush on Steven Gerrard.

Fernando Torres had a hold over me and I couldn’t understand how or why.

The tears fell freely down my face as the past came flooding back. Working for Liverpool was my dream job; I was more than qualified to be in a coordinator position. It paid well, it had manageable hours, and seeing the players’ everyday was just a bonus.

I knew that I had to quit. Seeing Fernando every day would just add salt into open wounds. I had just barely established myself at the club. I was finally managing things on my own, I was taking over press conferences making sure that PRs and the athlete themselves were there. Now, I wouldn’t be able to do any of that. I couldn’t very well work for another club, it would be a betrayal.

Liverpool was my hometown, my lifestyle and it was the only place I’ve known… but change was always good.

Sighing, I felt disgusting from the wet clothes that still clung to my body. I had forgotten to grab my things when I walked out, changing was not an option. I had nothing except my purse, the clothes on my body, and our baby.

It was getting late out, I only knew this from the few people walking on the streets. I kept walking, hoping that a motel or hotel would come into view. It wasn’t until a few blocks that I saw a rundown motel. I cringed, looking at the rusted roofs and the chipped, bright green painted exterior that had grime plastered onto it. It was disgusting, but I had nowhere else to go.

I was afraid to touch the doorknob, thinking that I may catch something from the two second contact. The inside was just as worse as the outside. The carpet was stained with unmentionables; the flowery wallpaper was peeling off, showing the disgusting sheet rock that lay behind it. I walked slowly, clutching onto my purse for dear life as if a robber was going to pop up. The man at the front was terrifying. He was bald and it seemed as though all his hair had left his head and took refuge on his chest and stomach. His once white wife beater was stained a dingy yellow, which matched the color of what few teeth he had left in his mouth.

The motel was just as disgusting as the person who was running it.

He licked his lips as I stepped forward, my eyes still trailing the interior of the motel. How it was still running? I didn't know.

“Wha' can I do for you, beau'iful?” The man winked, pulling down his shirt as if it would impress me. I pursed my lips together, digging into my purse for my wallet.

“I want a room for tonight,” he nodded, his dull green eyes preying on me as if he was going to pounce on me at any moment.

“Fifty euros,” he muttered, scratching the revealing skin above the waist band of his jeans.

I still had the credit cards that Fernando gave me, I sighed grabbing the cash that I had leftover from earlier on in the week. I paid quickly, waiting for the key to be placed into my palm. The man pushed it forward; I reached over to grab it, only to have it be pulled back towards the man. He smirked, his hand covering the gold key. I was tired and I was in no mood for what this man was trying to do.

“Can I have my key?” I spat, pushing my hair out of my face. He clicked his tongue and tapped his chin as if he were thinking.

“Wha’ do I get out of it?” my face was blank as my eyes narrowed in on the man. Was he joking? He wanted something? It was no wonder this place had any guests.

“I already paid. So can I just have my key?” I asked more nicely, hoping that would get him to soften up. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Nah, if you wan’ it… I wan’ somethin’ in return,” he smiled a toothless grin. I almost threw up in my mouth from the sight.

I was at my breaking point.

“Give me my bloody fucking key or I’ll call the cops. You don’t want that do you? I mean, it would be a shame if this place was condemned…” the man’s eyes widened as he quickly handed me the key, running into the backroom.

I walked back outside, looking at the numbers that were hanging next to the doors. I finally found my room, it didn’t look promising, but it would have to do in the meantime. Turning the lock, the door clicked open. There was a small lamp next to the queen sized bed that looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned in years. There were cobwebs in each corner of the room, a kind of decoration I didn’t want to see. The carpets seemed to be the only clean thing in the room, but I wasn’t about to put all my trust in it.

Setting my purse on the couch, a cloud of dust erupted from the sudden collision. I groaned, sitting on the edge of the bed. How had my life turned to this? I had my own apartment, only to move into Fernando’s large home, and now I was in the dirtiest motel in town.

This was the life…

Making a grab for my purse I took my phone out, turning it on to see all the messages and calls I have missed. It seemed as if the whole world knew about our breakup. Missed calls from all of our friends, some of the guys on the team, even Maral. It was unbelievable.

Wanting to know who these voicemails were from I waited for the first one to play, my body going into an instant shock.

“Hanna, mi amor… I'm sorry for how things happened between us, but come back. I don’t know where you are and it’s scaring me. You won’t answer anyone’s call’s or texts, I want to make sure you’re safe. Hanna, call back, por favor!”

Ignoring the other voicemails and text messages I called Maral first, knowing she would be the most worried. I waited for her to pick-up after three rings, she was out of breath and I felt embarrassed that I may have interrupted something.

“Where are you?! Fucking Nando…” her voice shrieked into my ear. I pulled away the phone, hearing more shrieking before it went a little quieter.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” I whispered, a lump forming in my throat.

“Don’t worry? You’re kidding right?! You’re pregnant and practically missing!” I bit my bottom lip as she yelled some more.

“I have nowhere to go, so I’m stuck in this motel that has brown water running from the showers,” I muttered, waiting for her to yell more for even picking a place like this to stay in.

“Dios mío… (Oh my god…) I’m coming to Liverpool and taking you back with me to Madrid. The boys leave for South Africa in two days, anyways,” she stated, I could hear Sergio in the background singing along to some Spanish song. It made me smile; I remembered when Fernando and Sergio would go on their “man dates” coming back completely inebriated and singing loudly for all the neighbors to hear.

I had forgotten that Nando was leaving for the World Cup. There was a possibility that he would be bringing along the girl that he had been seeing. I frowned, knowing that if I went back to Spain with Maral she would be bringing me to South Africa with her.

“You don’t have to. I’m not in any mood to fly,” I could already see her rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

“Cierra la boca. (Shut your mouth) I’m coming; Sergio already booked me a flight so it’s too late to turn back,” I let out a deep breath as I looked at the dust covered alarm clock.

“I’m not going to South Africa…” I stated, chipping off my red nail polish.

“What? Sí tu eres!” (Yes you are) Her tone was scaring me and I knew never to mess with Maral. It was the reason why Sergio is so well trained when around other women.

“I just don’t want to see him… and her,” I groaned, laying back on the dirty bed. I didn’t care at this point. I was already in hell.

“Don’t you want to go cheer on our boys? They all miss you, seriously. They’ll make sure to give Nando hell when they see him,” she laughed, stopping when there was a loud thump on her end of the line. Sergio muttered that he was fine while Mar was scolding him on getting what he deserves for dancing so vigorously in the car.

“Don’t make me feel bad. Plus, I don’t want to have to live inside the hotel bathrooms there.” I stated knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to afford to stay at the hotels the WAGs were taking refuge in.

“Stop making excuses, you’re going. You're already covered, don't even bother asking who or how. You’re going,” she repeated, ending the call. I stared at my background of Fernando and me. I turned it off quickly; throwing my phone over my head, hearing it hit one of the pillows. I got up locking the door and sliding the chair that had been sitting against the wall, under the doorknob to prevent the man at the front desk from sneaking in when I was least expecting it.

Closing my eyes, I ignored the cop sirens and dogs barking on the other side of my door.

▲▼

A loud ring infiltrated my ears; my eyes snapped open looking frantically for the phone that had made its way somewhere on the ground. I felt the cold screen of my phone, grabbing it and answering it immediately.

“Buenos días, puta! (Good morning, bitch) I’m here, so tell me where you are!” Maral yelled. I groaned at her cheeriness but told her the directions nonetheless.

It took her half an hour to finally find the dirty motel. A loud knock came on my door as I got up quickly, opening it to reveal a disgusted look on Mar’s face. She walked inside, ducking her head a little as if something was going to fall on top of her head.

I bit my top lip, looking at the girl that I hadn’t seen in almost a year. Maral sighed seeing that I had no luggage. She grabbed my purse off the couch as well as my hand, dragging me out of the room quickly.

“I have nothing to say,” she said looking at me through her sunglasses; I could see her eyes fill with worry as she looked at my stomach.

Maral gave the key to the man since I didn’t want to face him again; she quickly ran out, pushing me into the rental car. We drove in silence to the airport, I felt disgusting knowing that the paps were most likely following her around. Maral was dolled up in heels and designer clothes when all I had on was the maxi dress and sandals I had been wearing yesterday. I had on no make-up and hadn’t even showered. I knew I looked a mess without having to look in a mirror.

“Venga,” (Come) I followed after Maral, gripping onto her arm as if I was a child. From an outside perspective, it may have looked weird, but they wouldn’t have understood.

There were flashes of light coming from the corner of my eye as we were hounded by photographers. Maral sighed, pushing through the little crowd to get to the terminal before the plane left without us. I covered my face with my hands as the clicking of the camera buttons kept going off. Taking pictures of how pathetic I have gotten since my breakup with Fernando. Of course, there would be a possibility that he would see this, which is why I was trying to hide my identity before any of the paps recognized who I was.

The flashing had gotten worse when two people had walked in from the side. I didn’t bother looking over, I didn’t really care who it was. Maral kept dragging me along, dragging us into the waiting area of the plane. I sat down, with Mar sitting next to me a magazine in her hand to pass the time. We still had twenty minutes before the plane started boarding people. Getting up, I stretched, walking across the waiting area to a tiny shop that was selling souvenirs. I saw a bright flash go off, but didn’t think anything of it as I walked around the shop some more. I figured that while this may be the last I see of Liverpool I would buy something to remind me of where I had grown up.

Grabbing a small keychain that didn’t even cost much, I walked towards the cash register where a teenage girl was working. She smacked her gum, looking at the small keychain. She rung it up quickly, putting it inside a plastic bag before snatching the money out of my hand. She dropped the bag that had my souvenir in it, her eyes widening as she looked over my shoulder. I looked over as well, my heart beating out of my chest as I saw the familiar freckled face.

“Oi, that’s Fernando Torres!” The girl squeaked causing Nando to look over. All the color drained from his face as he saw me standing there, frozen like a statue. I quickly picked up my bag, running as far as my legs would take me. I could hear Fernando yelling after me to stop, but I wasn’t going to. I was going to save myself from the humiliation of being told off twice.

I ran into the bathroom, locking myself in one of the stalls as I hunched myself over spilling all the contents I had consumed yesterday. It wasn't morning sickness; it was more from the shock of seeing Fernando. Wiping my mouth, I laid my head against the coolness of the stall door. I unlocked it, walking over towards the mirror and sinks. I looked like death; my skin was a sickly pale color. My usually light green eyes were dull, my once lively hair pin straight and lifeless.

I walked slowly towards the exit, stalling as much as I could. I figured that he wouldn’t wait for me outside of a restroom, not when there was a school of paparazzi surrounding every perimeter of the airport. I walked out, relieved that I didn’t see him standing there, I stepped out further, turning right to walk towards the waiting area that Maral was sitting in. A hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into the men’s restroom. I started panicking, until I saw the tattoos adorned on the kidnapper’s arm.

The restroom was completely empty, except for the few that were nosey and stayed behind to see what this footballer and the girl in front of him were about to do. I sighed, running a hand through my hair as Fernando paced in front of me, his hands running through his own hair in frustration.

“¿Sabes de lo estúpido que eres?” (You know how stupid you are?) He finally stopped pacing to yell at me, anger rose inside of me. His eyes were burning with fury, but why would it be if he wanted us to be over and me out of his life. “Why would you leave like that and not tell anyone where you went?!”

“Why do you care, Nando?” I yelled back, catching the attention of some of the men that had entered the restroom. He let out a growl, grabbing my arm and lightly pushing me into the wall behind me.

“I still care for you,” he seethed, looking over his shoulder and glaring at anyone who was judging the postion we were in.

“¿En serio? (Really?) Because the last I checked… you don’t date another person while you’re in a committed relationship.” I spat, throwing his infidelity back into his face.

He let go of my arm, taking a step back. I rubbed the area he had grabbed, glaring at him as he kept his eyes on me. I moved around him, making sure I didn’t touch him as I tried to make my way out of the restroom.

“¿A dónde vas?” (Where are you going?) He whispered. His brown eyes filled with guilt and sadness.

“Voy a vivir mi vida ... sin ti,” (I am going to live my life... without you)