No One Knows

It was as if time stopped as the words slipped between my lips. I hadn’t even realized what I said until I saw Nando’s shoulders slump down. My body went numb, preventing any kind of emotion to flood through me. Fernando hadn’t moved from his spot in front of me, not even caring as more men passed by us to get into the bathroom. His gaze on my stomach sent my body into shock. I bit my lip nervously, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze and in this position. I had turned on my heel, quickly walking away and never looking back.

I had gotten back in time; Maral had a frantic look on her face as she was searching left and right for me. I let out a small laugh as we walked side by side, handing our tickets to the women collecting them. Stepping into the terminal, I felt like a new person. I knew from now on, my life would be different. There was an opportunity to finish what I had wanted before Fernando had entered in my life, except a baby would be in the equation. My loyalty to Liverpool will always stick, but I needed to sacrifice some things to make it work. The thought of living in Spain had never been an option for me, even if it was beautiful. Now, here I was, sitting inside of a large piece of metal that would fly me away from the past. I would now have to get used to the sunny blue skies, instead of the gray I had been accustomed to waking up to.

But that wouldn’t be a problem.

I had slept the entire way, the pregnancy finally taking a toll on my body. I couldn’t wrap my head around myself being a mother, a single one at that, and it made me scared. My mind plagued with thoughts of Fernando and his face when I told him I was moving on. It made me feel guilty, but what had he expected? I wasn’t going to end my life because we were over. As much as I had wanted to wrap my arms around him and beg him to never let me go, I needed to slap myself into a reality. One without him.

The plane finally landed, ending my thoughts of the freckled man. Maral grabbed my hand, rushing me out of the terminal to meet up with Sergio who had been threatened to come pick us up. My arm felt like it was about to rip away from the limb as Maral kept pulling harder. Even in heels she was walking faster than I was. She looked back every now and then to make sure it was me who she was dragging along, making me laugh every time she did it. The brightly litted airport came into view as Maral muttered something under her breath quietly.

The airport in Madrid was beautiful; there were a lot more shops, no doubt for tourists. Maral’s eyes kept searching the entire airport, her tallness a plus for looking over heads to spot her boyfriend. She looked over at me a smile on her face as she pulled me to the left where Sergio stood. She let out a squeal, charging at him like a lion. He laughed but caught her into his muscular, tattooed arms. He spun them around a little kissing the tip of her knows as he let her down onto her feet and moving on to me. His arms opened up wide, I slid into them, feeling the warm embrace of a friend.

I stepped back, patting down my hair self-consciously. Maral stopped me, pulling me and Sergio towards the exit and into Sergio’s car that he loved more than his girlfriend at times. I laughed, remembering when he had told me that secret. He swore that if I told Mar, he would come to Liverpool and make sure my parents and friends knew what had happened last Halloween in his bathroom. Needless to say, I haven’t said a word to Mar… no one needed to know what happened that day.

The sky had turn an eerie shade of gray as Mar was explaining the very details of how she was going to decorate her home for the annual Halloween party she and Sergio threw. I had already felt guilty for not making it to the last two, but Fernando didn’t want to fly all the way to Spain only to have to come back and play a game the next day. I sighed, hearing how excited she was and I wanted nothing more than to be in Spain.

After ending the conversation with Maral I quickly grabbed my purse and keys and drove to make sure my ass would be on that flight to Spain in four hours.

The scheduling had been turned around after hours of arguing with Rafael Benítez. I had gotten accolades and pats on the back for standing my ground and breaking him enough to get Halloween and two days after, off. Fernando was impressed and insisted that our trip to Spain was long overdue. I hadn’t been that excited as I ran upstairs to pack my belongings as well as the costume I had been dying to wear.

The plane ride there went by quickly with me falling asleep and Fernando prodding me to join the Mile High Club with him. Rolling my eyes, I turned away from him, giggling as he whined about the plane taking so long to get to Spain.

As soon as we touched solid ground, Fernando lifted me over his shoulders, slapping my butt playfully as we went to claim our baggage before heading over to Sergio and Maral’s home. We had to make a few stops, for Fernando’s sake of not getting into any accidents while in a different country. He was in a much better mood by the time the rental car stopped in the driveway of the beautiful home. I didn’t tell Maral we were coming, I’m sure she would be a little mad, but happy nonetheless.

I jogged up the stairs that lead to the dark oak doors, knocking and ringing the doorbell frantically. I could hear Fernando chuckling from below knowing that he could hear what I was doing above him. He came seconds later, puffing out air as he carried both our bags up the flight of stairs. I rang the doorbell again, only to be met with a furious, disheveled looking Sergio. I pursed my lips from laughing as his eyes widened and he came at me with a hug. I pushed him away, making him purposely stumble into Fernando.

I let the both of them catch up as I walked into the home, running up the stairs knowing that’s where my best friend would be. I had caught her at the perfect time as she pulled her shirt over her stomach. She screamed jumping onto my small frame, I laughed, hugging her back as tightly as she pulled back and lightly slapped the back of my head.

“Oi, what was that for?” I rubbed the back of my head, slapping her shoulder repeatedly.

“For not telling me you were coming!” She laughed, pushing me backwards so I could start walking back downstairs.

The guys had finally come in, settled in front of the TV with a beer in their hands. I rolled my eyes, setting myself on top of Fernando’s lap. His arm wrapped around my midsection, rubbing the skin that was showing. Maral gagged, her arms wrapped around Sergio’s neck as she stood above him behind the couch. My eyes finally took noticed of the black and orange decorations adorning every crook and cranny of the house. Every inch of the house was covered in Halloween décor, this was definitely Maral’s doing.

I stood up, making my way towards Maral and grabbing my bag as we walked back up the stairs. I pulled out my things on the guest room bed, showing the bits and pieces of my costume to Maral. Her eyes widened realizing the fabric before her was going to cover very little skin on my body. I laughed, stuffing the contents back inside my bag as Fernando walked in with his duffel, dropping it unceremoniously in the corner.

He raised an eyebrow at the both of us as we innocently smiled at him. He shook his head, walking back out of the room and no doubt back into Sergio’s arms. Maral and I had always joked about them running away together, but they didn’t find it as amusing, claiming that photographers and the paps always caught them at awkward times.

Maral and I locked both Fernando and Sergio out of the master bedroom so we could get ready for the night. Looking at the costume on my body, I felt as if I was exposing too much, but I didn’t care as long as it got a rise out of Fernando. And I knew my costume would definitely do just that.

Guests started pouring inside the large home, the music drifting through the air. I set myself on top of the sink, waiting for Maral to put on the finishing touches to her flapper costume. It looked beautiful on her, her hair in perfect waves. Sergio came knocking, skillfully unlocking the door as he stepped inside with his gangster costume on, and his diamond encrusted cane in hand. He stopped in his tracks to see me clad in my sailors costume. Maral stood next to him, slapping him upside the head as she yelled at him for ogling at me too long.

I laughed, walking down the stairs were I had gotten some cat calls and some nasty stares from some of the WAGs. I stood on the last step, looking for Fernando’s mop of blonde hair over the mass of people. I finally spotted him in the corner as Batman, speaking animatedly to Iker and his fiancée, Megan. Sauntering over to them, I tapped Nando on the shoulder; he lazily turned to see who it was, doing a double take as he realized his girlfriend was standing behind him. He grabbed my waist, taking in the costume that I had forbidden him from seeing.

“Now I see why Torres is playing football so well,” Iker laughed, making the woman attached to his arm laugh as well. I playfully glared at him, pressing a soft kiss to Nando’s lips.

“Whatever,” Nando mumbled against my lips. Megan cooed at how cute we were before pulling Iker and herself away from both Fernando and I.

He pushed me against the nearest wall, his hands on either side of my head, trapping me in. He pressed his lips against mine again, one of his hands making its way onto the bare skin of my hip. The warmth of his hand sent a shock down my spine, goose bumps erupting all over my body. He smirked, pulling away and grabbing my hand.

“Where are we going?” I asked. He looked back still smirking at me before bringing the both of us upstairs.

Pushing me into one of many bathrooms in the house, Fernando closed the door untying the cape that he was wearing. I laughed, as he pressed his body against mine, his lips roughly attaching themselves on my neck. I moaned from the slight pain, feeling a smirk making its way on his face.

He grabbed my thighs, wrapping them around his waist as he laid the both of us down on the floor. My hands threaded through his hair, tugging at it as his kisses had gotten more eager. His hands roamed around my body, stopping at my breast. I arched my back into his touch, feeling him knead me through the fabric of my costume. Lowering his hands, he reached the top of the little shorts I had on, pulling them down slowly…

“Mierda!” Sergio screeched, covering both of his eyes as Fernando and I scrambled onto our feet. My face turned a bright red as Fernando stayed cool, laughing at my retreating form behind him. Fernando walked the both of us out, slipping past a shocked Sergio who still had his mouth hanging open as he watched us walk back down the stairs.

I never looked back to see if he was angry and I was positive that he felt awkward around us, given that he had ignored us the entire night. Fernando didn’t make the situation any better, coaxing me to run off again, only this time to the rental car that was safely parked in the garage. I was embarrassed the entire night. Fernando told me not to worry about and just have fun. I now regretted wearing this costume; I should have been a nun instead. I kept my distance from Fernando, staying with Maral who didn’t have a clue about the run in.

I only hoped that Sergio wouldn’t tell anyone, even her.

The city of Madrid whizzed by as I looked on at the buildings and beautiful surroundings around us. I had missed this place but never seemed to find the time to come back. My hand was set on my lower stomach as I rubbed it lovingly, watching Maral and Sergio interact in the front of the car. I had stayed quiet, joining every now and then in the conversation that Maral had started. I hoped to find a guy like Sergio, but I wasn’t sure if I would ever want to date anyone again.

Fernando wasn’t my first boyfriend; I’ve had others before him. Though, they never treated me the way he did. Never made me see that there was more to life than work, made me fall deeply in love, and never broke me apart as much as he had.

My stomach growled loudly, signaling that the baby was hungry. Maral turned her head, her eyebrows knitted in confusion as she saw my shoulders shake with laughter.

“Baby’s hungry,” I smiled, making a smile appear on her face.

“It’s a boy. I know it,” Sergio said, looking through the rearview mirror. I rolled my eyes, rubbing my stomach at the possibility of the baby growing inside of me being a boy.

“You only say that because you want a baby boy,” Maral’s eyes were narrowed in on the man driving the car. He nodded his head in agreement, looking over at her.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to say these things if you just gave me one,” Maral blushed, looking out the window as my eyes widened at Sergio.

“I told you. I want one but when the season is over," she stated, looking sympathetically at me. I nodded in understanding, hearing Sergio sigh.

I gave Sergio a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as Maral huffed that I had taken his side. I would have been ecstatic if Fernando told me he wanted to raise a family with me, but that conversation had never surfaced. Hence, my apprehension of telling him I was pregnant.

As much as I loved Maral and Sergio, the fact they were handling me like a crystal bowl was ridiculous. I wasn’t fragile; I just had a baby inside of me. Since I had stepped inside the house, they placed me on the living room couch doing everything for me… and I mean everything. I barely got up and the times that I did, I was escorted into the bathroom.

I felt useless and helpless; I needed to be dependent on myself.

Sergio had joined me on the couch minutes later after helping Maral in the kitchen. He had control over the remote; quickly turning away the channels that had Fernando plastered on the screen… which had been almost all of them. He was on the news, on the sports channels, in commercials. I couldn’t escape him. The doorbell rang loudly as Sergio left it on a music station, getting up to greet whoever was on the other side of the front door.

I sat back, running a hand through my newly cleaned hair as I waited for Sergio and whoever to reappear through the archway. The familiar laugh of Iker drifted towards the living room, making me turn my head as Megan came running in, jumping on top of me. I laughed, pushing some of the weight off of me for the sake of the baby. Iker’s scruffy face appeared alongside of Sergio’s, smiling widely when he saw me in Megan’s grip. He walked over, ruffling my hair before taking the open seat next to me. He looked around the room and frowning, probably wondering where Fernando was.

“He’s not here,” I muttered, my thumbs twiddling together. I felt the anger building inside of Iker, Megan did too as she reached behind me, rubbing his neck.

“¿Qué pasó?” (What happened?) I didn’t want to replay the conversation. I shut my eyes tightly, my head softly bounced on the back of the couch.

“He’s with someone else,” I whispered. Iker groaned in anger, he had always been like an older brother to me. It made my heart swell that he cared so much.

“Hijo de puta…” (Son of a bitch) Megan muttered, getting up to leave Iker and I alone.

“Does he know?” He asked softly palming my stomach. I frowned, shaking my head. My intentions the night we had broken up was to tell him he was going to be a father. But that didn’t happen as planned and instead had to find out during a dispute at the airport.

I had been feeling a rush of mixed emotions since I had found out I was going to be a mother. I was scared to talk to anyone about it, even Maral. I didn’t want to be influenced by any other minds about what should happen to the baby. I had a conflicting thought inside of me, one that had been nagging me in the back of my mind. I turned to Iker, his eyes softened as he saw the tears roll down my cheeks.

He wiped them away with the pad of his thumb, pulling me into his chest where I could hear his heart thumping in a rhythmic pace. “¿Estás bien?” I bit my lip, my head still against his chest.

I pulled back looking into his dark eyes. I now knew why Megan was so madly in love with this man. He was caring; he was going to be a good father and husband. I envied Megan for snatching him before I did, but I couldn’t have been happier they had found each other. Iker looked at me, eyes piercing holes into my skin as he waited for my answer.

It was now or never.

“I want this baby to be put up for adoption…”