Status: Completed!
Like we used to
Waking-up sensation.
At first, I heard voices. They were soft, really. Like whispering.
Was I in heaven, I thought to myself. My head felt unusually light. Could I open my eyes? For awhile, I could swear that my soul was detached from my body.
Then, I peeled open my eyes. There was a bright light. The light faded as my eyes moved from the ceiling across the room. I was in a hospital ward. My eyes were hazy but my head was gradually getting better. I noticed two figures standing near the wall. To get a closer look, I lifted my head from the soft pillow to get a better view of them. Jesse and Freya.
I let my head fall limply back onto the bed. Of all people, it just had to be these two coming to my rescue, the two people I never wanted to see ever again. Freya noticed me first. I wondered if she saw the pained expression on my pale face. She whispered to Jesse and he looked at me. His eyes filled with guilt. Streaks of tears lined Freya's face. Just looking at that couple gave me a terrible headache. Was it because of me?
"Kyle, I'm sorry. I should have gotten down to telling you-" Jesse started.
"Kyle, I really shouldn't have left so suddenly... But I didn't know how to break the news to you..." Freya cut Jesse off short.
My heart hurt. I could hear the ringing in my ears. My bestfriend and my ex-girlfriend. I felt betrayed and hurt but this feeling was replaced by something more. There was a tingling sensation admist the hurt and pain. A sensation of waking up.
If Jesse wanted Freya bad enough and Freya loved Jesse hard enough, I should be happy for them, should I not? The sensible voice in my head cut through the veil of mist that had descended upon me. It hurt, of course. But I was being selfish by holding Freya tight and refusing to let go. I was in pain and misery but I should not be stopping my bestfriend and the woman I love from pursuing their own happiness. If I loved them and cared for them as much as I claimed to, I had to let go.
"Freya, Jesse, look, if you two really love each other, don't let me become an obstruction. Don't feel bad. Love has no reasons, right? I really believe in that now." I told them.
"You don't hold it against us?" Jesse asked, almost surprised.
I shook my head.
"Still buddies?"
"Hell yeah."
Freya smiled at me, the same toothy grin.
Freya and Jesse looked at each other intensely and locked lips. I looked away. I did not have to watch it. The pain was still real. It was dying away now, but it was still there. Freya and Jesse broke apart. I looked back and smiled.
"Jesse, if you do anything to hurt Freya, you're going to get it from me. Look at what you put me through to get her!" I joked.
"Kyle..." Freya started, uncomfortably.
"Kyle, that was anything but funny. Don't you worry. She's in safe hands." Jesse answered.
With that, Freya and Jesse left, leaving me in the silence of the hospital ward. Letting go was hard of course but an ending always means a new beginning. I had no regrets. My heart was still with Freya but I knew the day would come for that to change. I wondered if Jesse would sing with Freya like I used. I wondered if Jesse would cuddle with her like I used to. At least, I knew now, I had to let go and I took the first step to do it.
My heart felt lighter. Jealousy was a matter but my friends were happy now. That was the important thing. Letting go was hard but when it was done, all would be fine. Life goes on, of course. It never stops.
Was I in heaven, I thought to myself. My head felt unusually light. Could I open my eyes? For awhile, I could swear that my soul was detached from my body.
Then, I peeled open my eyes. There was a bright light. The light faded as my eyes moved from the ceiling across the room. I was in a hospital ward. My eyes were hazy but my head was gradually getting better. I noticed two figures standing near the wall. To get a closer look, I lifted my head from the soft pillow to get a better view of them. Jesse and Freya.
I let my head fall limply back onto the bed. Of all people, it just had to be these two coming to my rescue, the two people I never wanted to see ever again. Freya noticed me first. I wondered if she saw the pained expression on my pale face. She whispered to Jesse and he looked at me. His eyes filled with guilt. Streaks of tears lined Freya's face. Just looking at that couple gave me a terrible headache. Was it because of me?
"Kyle, I'm sorry. I should have gotten down to telling you-" Jesse started.
"Kyle, I really shouldn't have left so suddenly... But I didn't know how to break the news to you..." Freya cut Jesse off short.
My heart hurt. I could hear the ringing in my ears. My bestfriend and my ex-girlfriend. I felt betrayed and hurt but this feeling was replaced by something more. There was a tingling sensation admist the hurt and pain. A sensation of waking up.
If Jesse wanted Freya bad enough and Freya loved Jesse hard enough, I should be happy for them, should I not? The sensible voice in my head cut through the veil of mist that had descended upon me. It hurt, of course. But I was being selfish by holding Freya tight and refusing to let go. I was in pain and misery but I should not be stopping my bestfriend and the woman I love from pursuing their own happiness. If I loved them and cared for them as much as I claimed to, I had to let go.
"Freya, Jesse, look, if you two really love each other, don't let me become an obstruction. Don't feel bad. Love has no reasons, right? I really believe in that now." I told them.
"You don't hold it against us?" Jesse asked, almost surprised.
I shook my head.
"Still buddies?"
"Hell yeah."
Freya smiled at me, the same toothy grin.
Freya and Jesse looked at each other intensely and locked lips. I looked away. I did not have to watch it. The pain was still real. It was dying away now, but it was still there. Freya and Jesse broke apart. I looked back and smiled.
"Jesse, if you do anything to hurt Freya, you're going to get it from me. Look at what you put me through to get her!" I joked.
"Kyle..." Freya started, uncomfortably.
"Kyle, that was anything but funny. Don't you worry. She's in safe hands." Jesse answered.
With that, Freya and Jesse left, leaving me in the silence of the hospital ward. Letting go was hard of course but an ending always means a new beginning. I had no regrets. My heart was still with Freya but I knew the day would come for that to change. I wondered if Jesse would sing with Freya like I used. I wondered if Jesse would cuddle with her like I used to. At least, I knew now, I had to let go and I took the first step to do it.
My heart felt lighter. Jealousy was a matter but my friends were happy now. That was the important thing. Letting go was hard but when it was done, all would be fine. Life goes on, of course. It never stops.