You Left Me To Wonder

You were my first love. In second grade we said we would marry each other, and live happily ever after. Now, I see that was a lie.

I remember going over to your house everyday, sprinting through my yard into yours, carefully sidestepping dog poop. You always waited for me outside the garage, and then we made crazy plans. Whether it was building the biggest snowfort, or rounding up every, single, kid in the neighborhood for a giant game of capture the flag.

And I never said thank you for that, for being my first true boyfriend, or friend that's a boy, or maybe a little of both. You had a "boys only" birthday party, but you still invited me.

And I remember telling you I was moving, and the look on your face. You helped bring my boxes downstairs, and you sat in you driveway waving, waiting to disappear from view.

I want you to know I never forgot you. And when I somehow came in possession of your phone number, and I texted you, my heart felt like it might explode. And then, when you stopped texting me back, I knew that we were done. We had nothing left.

And for that, I hate you. But at the same time, the part of my heart that's still an eight-year-old, it still loves you.

I wish you knew how much it hurt, and how much I loved you. But now, "love" has become "loved" and I realize you are now a part of my past, and always will be. I'm sorry.

With love,
Keeley