Until Tomorrow

Standing over her grave, I couldn’t stop the memories of the day she died; the day I killed her. The flooded my mind like a tsunami, harsh and cold. Sweeping away the once steady beat of my heart, kicking it into a frenzy, a need for survival.

Chasing my girlfriend up and down the beach, I couldn’t help but grin at how lucky I really was; I had an amazing girl that I knew no matter what would always be mine, I had a loving family and I had passion. “Chase, you are so not gonna catch me!” Annie taunted me. Pausing she looked back at me and shook her ass at me. Growling, I picked up my speed; I only ever let her think she could out run me. Grabbing her by her waist I hoisted her up over my shoulder and grinned before throwing her into the ocean. Shrieking Annie went under and never came back up. I knew she was good at holding her breath, but I knew she wouldn’t out in the open ocean. “Annie, that’s not funny,” I was getting worried. Pulling my shirt over my head, I dropped it to the beach and dove in to get her. Only, I didn’t get her in time. By the time I had her on the beach and performing CPR, I knew she was gone.

I couldn’t cry, even now standing over Annie’s casket. She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping. I loved watching her sleep. Her parents were really amazing; they weren’t blaming me, apparently if Annie had told us she was sick and we had gotten her to the Doctor, she would still be with us, with me. She had excess air in her lungs from a small little rip that hadn’t healed properly after her lung was punctured by a rib from her last rugby accident. Annie loved rugby. She loved everything.

Feeling a little hand slip into my much bigger one, I looked down at June, Annie’s little sister. I knew that she knew Annie wasn’t ever coming home. June is three and I always thought of her as my little sister, but I couldn’t look at her for long now, she looked too much like Annie. The love of my life; the love I had foolishly killed. Slowly the last part of my soul slipped away. Annie was gone, so why am I still here?