Status: keep this alive.
No Limits.
Questionable
I feel like if I was popular I would know when to give it up. For a love or life or whatever.
But then, I realized something.
Awhile back, all I wanted to be was popular. I got the same things as other girls, food, cloths, even pencils, and I never felt good enough. When I changed schools it was like a slap in the face. Sometimes, I'm glad I didn't get to go to school with my friends.
Anyways, I realized that if I was popular, in the way I was trying to be, I'd never give it up for someone I hardly knew.
The first year was hard at the school. I cried at night, and I put 'the face' on to keep everyone but my friends out. I still use said face but, now it's because I just don't want to be involved in the drama that is school.
I'll say this to you straight. I know that when you read this, you might come to the assumption that I'm just a person who tries to hard and isn't what she thinks. Now that I've said that, for those of you who hear this all the time, it puts me in the denial section. Maybe I am, but it's up to me to get over myself without help.
I'm constantly trying to know exactly what conclusions people come to when people doing things. Really, when adults look ate me I know,I know what they're thinking. At least what I would be thinking, if I was thirty years older.I don't know if this is part of growing up, but I'm seriously doubting it.
The way I think changes too, from day to day. Tomorrow, no matter what I type right now, I'll most likely think what I just typed is stupid, and maybe take it down. I predict things like that so often in my life I don't even care anymore. The poems I have written on my account I think that almost everyone of them is whiny and pointless, but I won't take them down because they meant something to me at the time.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and I'm sure I'll regret it in the morning, but I guess no matter how screwed up you are, things work out.
But then, I realized something.
Awhile back, all I wanted to be was popular. I got the same things as other girls, food, cloths, even pencils, and I never felt good enough. When I changed schools it was like a slap in the face. Sometimes, I'm glad I didn't get to go to school with my friends.
Anyways, I realized that if I was popular, in the way I was trying to be, I'd never give it up for someone I hardly knew.
The first year was hard at the school. I cried at night, and I put 'the face' on to keep everyone but my friends out. I still use said face but, now it's because I just don't want to be involved in the drama that is school.
I'll say this to you straight. I know that when you read this, you might come to the assumption that I'm just a person who tries to hard and isn't what she thinks. Now that I've said that, for those of you who hear this all the time, it puts me in the denial section. Maybe I am, but it's up to me to get over myself without help.
I'm constantly trying to know exactly what conclusions people come to when people doing things. Really, when adults look ate me I know,I know what they're thinking. At least what I would be thinking, if I was thirty years older.I don't know if this is part of growing up, but I'm seriously doubting it.
The way I think changes too, from day to day. Tomorrow, no matter what I type right now, I'll most likely think what I just typed is stupid, and maybe take it down. I predict things like that so often in my life I don't even care anymore. The poems I have written on my account I think that almost everyone of them is whiny and pointless, but I won't take them down because they meant something to me at the time.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and I'm sure I'll regret it in the morning, but I guess no matter how screwed up you are, things work out.