Mixed Feelings of Elation

Neon awoke, feeling a naked body pressed against hers. The events of the night before flooded her brain. The movie, the kiss, the sex. It was all magnificent, something Neon hadn't done in awhile.

But they left the pizza out overnight. If her band mates were to show up while she was still in bed with Alex, they would likely eat the pizza without thinking it odd that it was just sitting on the coffee table.

Speaking of Alex, she was surprised she could still feel him pressed against her. She had been expecting him to leave in the early hours of the morning. It was something he did plenty of times in high school to other girls. For some reason, he didn't do it this time.

Alex's breath trickled against the back of her neck in rhythmic spurts. He was still asleep, Neon was pretty sure. His arms were around her wait, keeping them close together. Their legs were intertwined awkwardly. Neon decided she liked the position; it made her feel safe.

She wanted to stay in bed all day but she couldn't risk her band mates finding out about this and rubbing it in her face. She wasn't ashamed of sleeping with Alex; shame was never something Neon experienced. It was the chorus of "I told you so" she would hear.

Followed by her band mates asking when she would have a baby.

Neon wiggled around in Alex's hold, managing to make his arms lose enough to turn around and face him. His face was an inch away from hers. Neon stared at him, taking in each of his features. Alex's eyes were shut, fluttering occasionally; his lips were pressed together, corners turned up. Relaxed, that's how he looked.

He was like that when he was awake too. Alex always seemed so carefree. Neon was never like that. She was always worrying about something. In the past, most of her worry was over Arpeggio. It was the way she kept her mind from thinking about food and how bad it felt to eat knowing it wasn't helping her get where she wanted in life: pregnant. With the young girl out of the house, she had difficulty not thinking about it.

She continued to stare at him, forgetting about her reason for turning around. The pink haired singer was in her own world; she didn't notice Alex's eyes flutter open.

"How long have you been up?" Alex asked.

His voice jolted Neon back to the world of full consciousness, her heart skipping a beat from shock.

"You okay?" he chuckled.

"I didn't know you were awake," Neon replied.

"You were looking right at me."

"I was thinking."

"About?"

"Stuff."

"Tell me," Alex whined.

"Just some stuff. Don't worry about it."

Alex scrunched his nose and pouted. Though it didn't show, he was worried about it. Neon thinking was never a good thing. She had to be busy at all times or she would start crunching calorie numbers in her head. Her mind did it subconsciously. He could remember in high school, when she didn't think anyone was paying attention, she would trace the numbers into her desk with her finger.

She should have known that he was always paying attention to her. He had gotten good at checking her out through his peripheral vision.

Neon shook her head at his actions. It was cute, sure, but the reason Neon wanted to get up was clear in her head again.

"Let's get out of bed," Neon commanded.

"Can't we just stay in bed all day?" Alex asked, "I'm tired."

They were up till two in the morning. There was more sexual frustration pent up between the two than they were aware of. The first time had been the shortest due to Alex's excitement.

He couldn't help that he had been dreaming of that moment since high school.

Plus, Neon managed to get him back to an erected state quickly. Alex was a young rock star with a more than healthy sex life; he was trained in getting erections one after the other.

"No, Alex, we can't stay in bed all day," Neon answered

"Why not?" Alex asked.

"Because my band will end up showing up at some point today and they can not see me with you."

Neon wanted to take it back the minute it left her mouth. It sounded terrible.

Alex let go of his hold on her waist and pushed himself to a sitting position, comforter still around his lower half. His eyebrows drew together. Neon sat up as well, pulling the comforter up to cover her chest.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

He sounded offended. Neon didn't doubt that he was. He had the decency to stay with her till the morning and she had basically told him they had to pretend the night didn't happen when around her band.

"You should know how much shit I'm going to get if they find out about this," Neon answered.

"So you want me to leave?"

"No, just get some clothes on and wait in the kitchen or something. I don't hear anything so they can't be here yet."

"Would it have been easier for you if I had left after you fell asleep? I could have done that. It wouldn't have been the first time."

He wasn't just offended, he was angry. His voice had an edge to it that Neon had heard before in high school.

"Why didn't you then?" Neon retaliated.

She was angry simply because he was angry. It had become second nature to raise her voice at him when he did so to her.

"Maybe because I actually like you," Alex said.

"That's bullshit."

Neon's insecurity was taking over her better judgment.

"What do you mean 'that's bullshit?' What could possible compel you to think I would be lying?" Alex asked.

"You just wanted to do this because you knew you didn't have to wear a condom. You knew there would be consequences," Neon replied.

Alex had a list of offences against him but that was not one he was expecting. It was true they hadn't used a condom; it wasn't necessary. Neither had any diseases and Neon was barren. Using a condom would have been a waste.

"How would that even be a plausible reason?" Alex asked.

"Because you're you. You think with your dick and you always have."

"Oh you have got to be fucking—"

"Get out," Neon cut him off.

Alex's face crumbled from the angry façade. Neon turned her eyes from him to her lap in order to avoid looking at Alex's pained expression.

He couldn't believe she just said that.

"Fine," Alex said, getting out of the bed.

He pulled his boxer briefs on, grabbed his clothes, and walked out of Neon's bedroom. Neon sighed. She felt terrible. How could she have said all those things? She couldn't believe herself.

Neon pushed herself out of bed and walked to her dresser. An ache ran through her lower half as she took steps. She pulled out undergarments, a pair of shorts, and a tank top. For a moment, she debated on showering. She knew she should have. But she didn't care right now. She wanted to crawl in a ball and die for being such a bitch.

Alex hadn't done anything wrong.

Neon pulled on her clothes and shuffled from the room, heading for the living room. She stopped in the living room doorway, freezing in her spot, eyes glued to the couch.

Dante was reclining on her couch, one of his perfectly manicured eyebrows raised.