Mixed Feelings of Elation

Neon sat at the kitchen counter the next morning, sipping black coffee from the mug her little sister made her years ago. It was amateur work to say the least since Arpeggio had been so young when she made it, with a deformed shape and shakily drawn designs. But Arpeggio had been so excited when she brought the fired hunk of clay home. When she presented it to Neon, the lead singer couldn't help but keep it. The mug had become one of her closest objects during her stint with anorexia the first time, holding her black coffee every morning and night.

Drinking coffee with any other ingredients was against the rules she set up for herself long ago. She detested black coffee but she felt it helped her lose weight and keep her energy up. It was one of those things she had gotten rid of once she started eating normally, opting for sugar-filled coffee instead. Now that she was back into the full swing of losing weight, she decided it was time for the black coffee to come back.

As she sipped idly at the steaming cup, she remembered why she hated it so much.

Neon slept through all of the day before, from the moment Dante left to the time when she woke up the next morning. She was so tired. It came with the weight loss and she knew that; she knew exactly how she was destroying her body. The fatigue was always her least favorite part. Not taking time to eat always provided her with more time to do what she needed; the fatigue was so great that the time she accumulated was spent sleeping. At least, that's how it was in high school.

Neon's front door slammed open, followed by quick footsteps running through the hall towards the bedrooms. It was one of her band mates. The door hadn't been forced open so it couldn't have been a burglar of any kind. Judging by the light footsteps, it had to be Arpeggio.

"Neon," Arpeggio called, worry evident in her tone.

Why was she worried?

"Kitchen," Neon called back.

The rushed footsteps traveled back through the hallway, stopping in the kitchen doorway. Neon turned her body on her stool to face her little sister. Arpeggio's chest rose and fell quickly, breaths coming out in quick spurts.

"Why aren't you answering your cell phone?" Arpeggio asked.

"I don't know where it is," Neon responded.

She lost it the night Alex slept over. It flew somewhere in her room and she hadn't taken the time to look for it.

"I ran here because I was worried you passed out again," Arpeggio stated.

"As you can see, I'm fine."

"Yeah, you're sitting around in your pajama's drinking coffee from a mug I made for you forever ago. That screams you're okay."

"It's decaf."

Arpeggio's eyes lit up. She immediately walked to the coffee pot, where a still steaming pot of coffee sat. Neon watched her sister as she grabbed a mug from the cabinet, poured a cup of coffee and poured the necessary amounts of non-dairy creamer and sugar substitute. Arpeggio took a sip of her coffee, sighing.

"So what did you need?" Neon asked.

The calm expression on Arpeggio's face fell, replaced with something that looked similar to fear.

"I'm meeting Jack's parents tomorrow," Arpeggio stated.

"Why?"

"Jack is having a late birthday lunch with them and he invited me."

"Couldn't you have told him you weren't comfortable doing that?" Neon asked.

"I can't say 'no' to Jack."

"Obviously," Neon mumbled, taking a sip from her coffee.

She cringed when the coffee hit her pallet. Decaf was not doing anything for her besides resembling normal coffee. It had fewer calories than her usual coffee but really was not helping on keeping her awake. She couldn't figure out what compelled her to drink decaf, black coffee.

It had to be the calorie count.

"Shut up," Arpeggio demanded.

"Someone learned a new phrase from Dante."

Arpeggio ignored her, "That's not the point. The point is Jack and I have been dating for nine months. I should meet his parents. This is an important step in our relationship that we should have taken a long time ago."

"What's so bad about meeting Jack's parents?"

"You know how I am around people I don't know."

"I thought you were over this fear of people thing."

"I'm not."

"Calm down. It's going to be okay. Just be yourself and his parents will love you."

"How do you know that?"

"Because everyone loves you."

"So you think they'll be okay with Jack and I being together?"

"Why wouldn't they be?"

"I don't know. I should take my lip piercing out and dye my hair honey blonde. I look like a fucking hooligan."

Neon snorted, "Have you seen Jack's hair? It looks like he skinned a skunk and decided to wear it as a hat. Oh, that's a new insult. I should call him."

Neon admitted she still enjoyed harassing Jack. Not as often as she used to because she felt no threat from him anymore. Her harassment was a joke and he knew that, playing along with ridiculous insults.

"You are not helping," Arpeggio stated.

"Are you hungry?" Neon asked, attempting to distract her younger sibling.

"Yeah, I rushed over here before Jack woke up for support from you."

"Jack doesn't know you're here?"

Arpeggio paused. Neon's eyebrows rose. Her younger sibling didn't tell her boyfriend where she was going. If he were to wake up before Arpeggio returned, he would think something bad happened to her.

"Oops," Arpeggio mumbled.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, flipping it open and pressing a few keys. Nibbling on her bottom lip, she pressed the phone to her ear. Neon stood from her stool and walked to the refrigerator. She opened it to shift through the food items.

"Hey, Bear-cat," Arpeggio said.

A shout of "where are you?" could be heard from the tiny device. Neon shook her head, taking out a pack of bacon and a set of eggs to make for her younger sibling.

"I'm fine, Bear-cat. I tried calling Neon earlier and she didn't answer her phone so I got worried."

There was pause. Neon took a pan from the cabinet at her feet, placing it on the stove to cook.

"She's fine. I was worried for nothing."

Another pause. Neon needed to ask her sibling how much food she wanted. She assumed Arpeggio would try to make her eat. And she wouldn't deny her sister. She would eat if her younger sibling asked her too.

Neon turned to look at Arpeggio, whose face held confusion.

"Hold on, let me ask her," Arpeggio said, placing the phone to her chest, "Do you know why Alex is upset? Jack said he's been moping around for the past couple of days and he's asked everyone else. Alex won't tell anyone what's wrong."

Alex was moping around? It couldn't have had anything to do with Neon kicking him out. He was probably sad because he couldn't find another girl to sleep with.

"Why would I know?" Neon asked.

Arpeggio shrugged.

"It's probably just lack of sex. Tell him to go get laid," Neon said.

If Alex decided to go have sex with some random girl, Neon wouldn't care. She shouldn't care. It was Alex and he was a player. He didn't care about her; she didn't care about him.

Even though she kept telling herself that, she knew that she would be heart broken if Alex decided to hook up with another girl.

Arpeggio rolled her eyes before relaying the message to Jack, saying "bye" and hanging up.

"What are you making?" Arpeggio asked.

"Bacon and eggs."

"Yum. Where's the sugar free syrup?"

Of course she would want syrup on her bacon and eggs. Arpeggio always loved having sugar free syrup on her breakfast foods, including her cereal.

Having Arpeggio back in the house almost made Neon forget about her inability to reproduce.

Almost.