Mixed Feelings of Elation

Neon sat at the kitchen counter the next morning, drinking coffee from her younger sister's handmade mug. It was black coffee, as per normal. Drinking anything other than that would make her vomit. Eating itself would likely make her spew whatever was in her system.

She had vomited again when she woke. Stomach virus was officially ruled out since she wasn't nauseous constantly. She couldn't wrap her mind around the possibility that she could be pregnant, that she was having morning sickness. It was such a new concept to her.

The pregnancy tests were laid out on the counter in front of her, results staring her in the face. She slept with them clutched in her hand. She had been staring at them in disbelief and eventually fell asleep holding them. They couldn't be let out of her sight; she couldn't let them.

In thirty minutes, she would have to leave to get to the doctor for her appointment. She wanted to talk to Alex before she did. To tell him what happened and to ask him to go with her. She would have appreciated him going with her whether or not the results came back positive.

But she hadn't called him yet. Her cell phone was sitting next to the set of pregnancy tests, opened to her address book with Alex's name highlighted. She took a sip from her mug, staring at the phone. She didn't know what to say.

Neon sighed, grabbed the phone and pressed the call button before she could think of doing otherwise. The phone rang five times before the rings were cut off.

"Hey, this is Alex. You know what to do," Alex's automated voice was followed by a beep.

She reached his voicemail. Of all the times that she really needed him and he wasn't there to answer. Of course.

"Hey, Alex. It's Neon. I need to talk you. Give me a call back or something," Neon said, hanging up once finished.

Neon placed the phone back on the counter. She didn't know if he would call back in time. She wanted him to. She was hoping they could talk a bit about the situation. Like what would happen if she was pregnant.

Neon had thought about it the night before. She decided that she couldn't keep Alex tied down. He didn't have to be in the child's life. She could raise a child on her own; she had all the resources she needed. Money, friends, babysitters for tours, and more love for the child than she knew what to do with.

If the test wasn't positive, she would cry. After the doctor had said it was more than likely pregnancy, Neon's hopes raised high. She tried to kill them, reminding herself of what the doctors told her long ago.

It didn't work.

The front door opened and shut; laidback footsteps made they're way into her dining room. Neon tried to place them. It sounded a bit like Lestat but the steps were quicker. Neon turned around to face the person. Alex stood in her kitchen opening, hands shoved in his pockets.

"You needed to talk to me?" Alex asked.

He was nervous. Neon had mood swings that he couldn't control. And they only pertained to him. He was half expecting her to tell him she hated him and never wanted to see his face again. It wasn't something he would put past her.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Neon asked.

She only called him five minutes ago. His apartment was farther from her house than that. He couldn't have possibly heard the voicemail and gotten to her house in only five minutes.

"I was driving and my phone fell. I was on my way over here actually," Alex answered.

"Why?"

"Just to see you."

Neon's heart swelled at the answer. It was cliché at the very least; she should have hated it. But she couldn't help but be happy. Alex did that to her.

Alex walked to the counter and stood next to Neon's chair. He wasn't going to sit down. He was fully prepared for her to tell him to get out.

"What did you need to talk about?" Alex asked.

Neon grabbed the home pregnancy tests and held them out to Alex. He grabbed them, eyebrows furrowing together. One had the word "pregnant" written in the screen and the other two had little symbols.

"Are these pregnancy tests?" Alex asked.

"Yeah."

Why was she showing him these?

"Are they your's?" he asked.

"Yeah," Neon said again.

"Are they," he trailed off.

"Positive," Neon finished for him, "Every single one."

Alex's jaw dropped, eyes widening. He placed the tests on the counter and clutched the edge for support.

"It's not definite yet," Neon said, "I go to the doctor today to find out. I understand if you don't want to be part of the baby's life. You have your music and you're probably not ready to settle down. I just thought you should know."

Alex said nothing, his expression remaining shocked. Neon's minispeech didn't reach his ears. Nothing could reach him over the word "positive" blaring in his brain. Neon wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant and he somehow managed to impregnate her.

Alex's lack of response made Neon nervous. She fidgeted, unsure of what he was thinking.

"Alex?" Neon asked.

Her voice pulled him from his stupor.

"I'm going to be a dad," Alex whispered, a smile slowly working its way onto his face.

"Only if the results are positive."

"I'm going to be a daddy," Alex said, his smile was broad.

"Did you not hear me?"

Alex ignored her question. Without warning, he picked her up by her waist from the stool and spun her around in circles, yelling "I'm going to be a daddy." Neon held onto his shoulders to keep from sliding out of his hold. This was not the reaction she had been expecting.

Alex put her down, arms clutching her waist, and placed his lips firmly against hers. He pulled away, leaving Neon still shocked.

"I swear I'm going to be the best dad ever. I don't care if it’s a boy or girl; I'll love this child with all my heart no matter what. You and I can be together, officially. And we can get married," Alex gasped, "We need to set a wedding date. Do you want to do it before the baby is born or after? Have you eaten today? You need to eat so the baby is healthy. I—"

Neon cut off his ramblings, "Alex, you know there is a chance I'm not pregnant."

Alex's face fell. Sighing, he let go of Neon's waist and slouched on one of the kitchen counter stools.

"Can we still be together?" Alex mumbled.

"What happened to waiting?"

"I don't like waiting. Especially now that I know you like me too. I can't wait till you're done with this anorexia kick, Neon. I want you to be mine."

"I don't see why."

Neon had spent time trying to make herself unattractive to the opposite sex and Alex still wanted her. She couldn't understand.

"Because I know you're strong and independent. You don't need me around to take care of you even though I want to. You're cute; know how to keep me in check and on my feet. We'd be here for awhile if you wanted me to list all the things I like about you. I've always been attracted to you. It wasn't something I could control. I like you; just accept it," Alex answered.

Neon stayed quiet, letting the words sink in. Her heart was about to burst, her stomach doing crazy flips. For once, her mind wasn't disagreeing with any of her feelings. She was almost giddy.

"So are you going to ask me the right way?" Neon asked.

Alex smirked, "Neon Lowry, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

Alex couldn't contain his smile. Since high school, he had been waiting for Neon to agree to be his girlfriend. And now she was his.

He grabbed the belt loop of her skinny jeans and tugged her toward him, positioning her in between his legs. She leaned down, capturing his lips with hers, savoring the taste of him that she missed. Alex broke the kiss.

"When's you're appointment?" he asked.

Neon glanced at the clock, "In an hour."

"It takes thirty minutes to get there and then you have to check in, right?" Alex asked.

Neon nodded.

"Well, woman, let's go," Alex demanded, jumping to his feet and dragging a laughing Neon out the door.