Mixed Feelings of Elation

Neon sat at the counter in her kitchen, watching Alex bustle around. When they got in the car after the visit, he demanded that she let him make her something to eat. They drove to her house and he went to work on making her a sandwich. He didn't know where any of her food ingredients were located; he wouldn't let her help him. Neon had been watching Alex for about an hour as he tried to make a sandwich.

He was kind of cute with that lost look on his face.

Alex placed a plate in front of Neon, smiling triumphantly. Neon eyed the simple turkey sandwich with a side of chips. She had to hand it to him; he found something in her complex kitchen system.

"Good job, Alex," Neon smiled.

"I know, I'm amazing."

Neon rolled her eyes, taking a bite of the sandwich. Alex knew how she liked her lunch sandwiches, which surprised her. She thought for sure he would get it wrong but he didn't.

Her stomach accepted the food greedily. She hadn't eaten an actual meal in days. It killed her a tiny bit on the inside to be eating but she couldn't hurt her baby. She had no reason to feel bad about eating anymore. Yet she still felt the nagging in the back of her mind. It would go away over time, she knew that. No matter what the cause, anorexia was tough to fight. She could though. As long as she remembered the tiny baby growing inside of her, she would be able to fight to get over her eating problem.

"So, how are you feeling?" Alex asked, leaning on the side of the counter opposite her.

"I'm okay," Neon said.

"Excited?"

"Beyond excited. I can not wait to have this baby."

"It's going to be a tough pregnancy for you."

"I know."

Everything a normal woman went though during pregnancy would be multiplied in severity for her. She was glad to know the source of her constant pain though. She didn't care much about the pain anymore now that she knew it was because she was pregnant. It was worth it to have at least one baby. She wouldn't likely get a chance to have another one.

That child didn't know just how spoiled it was going to be the minute it was brought into the world.

"I think I should move in with you," Alex said.

"Come again?" Neon asked.

"I know it's early in our relationship but I think I should move in to take care of you while you go through this. And to make sure you eat everyday. It seems like I'm moving fast but I don't want to have to drive every morning to see the mother of my child. If you were only my girlfriend, that would be a different case. I would have waited to even suggest us moving in together. But you're my girlfriend and you're pregnant. I feel like I should be here."

That was sweet. Neon couldn't imagine having another man to father her children with. No one else would have taken into account having to help her on a daily basis.

"I would like for you to be here," Neon said.

Alex smiled, "Then I'll start getting my stuff together tomorrow and I'll break my lease."

"Why tomorrow? Why not today?"

"I want to spend today with you. To celebrate," Alex grabbed Neon's free hand.

Neon smiled and returned to eating her sandwich. Every cliché move that Alex pulled brought butterflies to her stomach. She still didn't believe in soul mates; she didn't think she ever would. But she knew she cared for Alex a good deal.

Alex was no Armand. The two were polar opposites; they couldn't be compared fairly. Alex was a confident lead singer; Armand was a confident drummer. Alex teased Neon in high school for her attention; Armand paid no attention to her and got her attention. Alex wasn't one for volunteer work unless it made him look good; Armand did volunteer work without the intention of looking good and still managed to look good. Alex did everything Neon asked him to; Armand did things without Neon asking, even if she didn't want him to. Alex was dominant in bed; Armand preferred being equals. Alex had a sex drive that was unmatched by anyone Neon knew; Armand liked cuddling more than having sex. They were two completely different people.

But Neon was happy with Alex. He may not have been like her first boyfriend but he was something new, something exciting for her. She enjoyed being with him regardless of whether he made her angry. She couldn't compare life with Alex to life with Armand because of the time difference. Though, she didn't want to compare Alex to anyone else. He was right for her and she knew it.

"I missed you while we weren't talking to each other. Did you know that?" Alex asked.

"I missed you too. It’s a lot nicer to be around you. Especially now that we're not in high school."

"I'm still sorry about that. I feel like this new wave of anorexia was brought on by me in a round about way. I caused the first wave, which is what made you barren. You being barren caused this one. Therefore, I am the cause of all your problems."

"You forgot you got me pregnant," Neon smiled.

"Because I have super sperm. The doctor said it herself."

"Has your ego been stroked?"

"Very much so."

"Dear Lord, we don't need your head getting bigger. You're already taking up enough oxygen with your existence."

"Meany," Alex pouted.

"But I love you, so it's okay," Neon leaned over and pressed her lips to Alex's.

When she pulled away, he was smiling again.

"You said the 'L' word," Alex said.

"Lesbian?" Neon asked.

She couldn't recall saying that. Maybe Alex was confused. Or maybe she was losing her memory. That was possible.

"I meant 'love,'" Alex replied, rolling his eyes, "You said you love me."

She said that?

"I didn't even realize I said it," Neon replied.

"That's how you know it's true: when you say it subconsciously."

"When did that happen?"

Alex shrugged, "I remember when I realized I love you. We were in Math junior year and we were taking a test. I looked over at you and I remember thinking you look so cute when you were focused. The way you bit your lip, the way you tugged on a strand of pink hair. It hit me somewhere in the middle of solving question three. I loved you. And I failed that test because I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"You loved me since then?"

"Yeah."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"We had good thing going with the daily insults."

Neon laughed. He was strange. She probably wouldn't have given him the time of day if he told her he loved her then. They were in the midst of an all out war during that time period.

"Eat your chips," Alex commanded.

"I can't eat anymore, Alex. I'm full."

"Are you just saying that?"

"No, I'm really full."

Neon couldn't eat much yet. Later on her pregnancy, she didn't doubt she would eat everything in her refrigerator. It wasn't comforting to know she would get bigger.

"Okay, I'm just checking," Alex said, grabbing the plate and putting a cover over it.

He knew not to leave it open and attract flies. He wasn't going to pour it back in the chip bag since he already threw the bag away.

"So I was thinking," Alex said, walking around the counter to Neon, "We need to take care of something before you get too big to move."

"Yeah, I know. We need to turn the master bedroom into our bedroom so we can have enough room to sleep in the same room every night. We need to create a nursery and baby proof the house. I don't know whose room we're going to use yet. I'll call Arpeggio and ask her what she thinks later. I have to tell everyone I'm pregnant. We need to start stacking up on baby clothes, diapers, and bottles. There's so much that needs to be done."

"That's not exactly what I was talking about. Why don't we go to your room and I can show you what needs to be taken care of."

Alex pulled Neon to a standing position, pressing their hips together. Neon could feel Alex's bulge pressing against her lower stomach.

"Oh," Neon said, "We should definitely take care of that."

Alex smirked, leading Neon out of the kitchen. She glanced at the digital clock over her stove. It was barely past two. She had a feeling they would be up till two in the morning doing anything Alex could come up with.