The Kiss of Dawn

He wanted to scream.

He felt the blood trickle down inside his shirt, he felt the pressure of her lips sucking on his neck and the blood pumping through his veins.. He had thought about this moment many times, but he had always seen it more poetic and beautiful than how it was. It was grotesque, and yet he loved it. He loved the pain, and it scared him.
He could feel his pulse slowing down, and her grip on his neck loosened. Her bloody fangs pulled out, and he fell to the floor while holding his neck. She bend down and handcuffed him to the tree next to him.

She looked down on him and grinned. "Enjoy the dawn."

***

He looked over the graveyard. It was beautiful. He had never seen death as a beautiful thing, though many of his fans thought so. Why did everyone misread him?

He hated himself, what he had become. He wasn’t himself anymore, he was his own ego. Finally someone, something, was putting an end to it. But why didn’t she just kill him? Why didn’t she just drink him until there was no unholy wine left?

“Maybe,” he said, “she wanted me to think about things. Realize things I have not been able to realize before.”

***

The skies were crying, but at least they didn’t cry blood as he did. One thing was to be soaked in tears, but blood.. It would be too cruel. But was anything too cruel to someone of his kind?
He was innocent, yet poisoned with a malice fiercer than what lay in the blood of rapists.
He couldn’t remember why he had come to this graveyard, or how he had met the mysterious stranger, but none of that seemed important right now. All that seemed to matter was how he spent these last moments of his cursed life. His cursed death.

“I’m going mad,” he muttered to himself. Who was he, talking to himself in the middle of the night?

Suddenly he heard a voice from behind. “You are mad. Watch out, or you might get hurt in the progress of saving yourself”

He looked around; there was no one there.

He knew the voice was speaking the truth, he could sense it. Why would the voice lie to him in these last moments on the earth?

“I am mad.”

But how was he going to save himself from a danger he couldn’t sense coming, and when there was nothing of his damned soul left to save?

***

The sun wasn’t rising, yet there was beginning to grow dark light over the treetops. It was going to happen soon, his death was going to creep into him. It was just a matter of hours. It was strange knowing what was about to come, and he had never felt so afraid before. And yet he was excited. He was finally getting numb.. for ever.

Eternity had never felt more appealing right now. He’d rather live a cursed life forever, than die without a choice. But didn’t he have a choice? All he could choose was either embracing death or trying to get away as always.

And did he really want to live that cursed life? He was sure it was tempting the first month, but he’d get lonely after that and wanting to kill himself. Could he live a death knowing the only reason he was still here was because he fed on life?
He hated what the mysterious stranger had done to him. He wanted to die right now. Right now he wanted to escape.
See, he had never had the strenght to commit suicide.

Such a shame.

***

One thing he hated about himself was that he was a man of habit. And those habits he had gained through time wasn’t the best. Including nail-biting.

See, it wasn’t such a good idea to bite your nails with newly required fangs. Ville hadn’t really thought things through when he bit down his thumb, blood running from his fingertips and splashing onto the cold, green gras. The morning dew laid on the grass, making it shine so endlessly.

“Watch out,” The whisper from behind spoke again. Ville didn’t turn around, he didn’t need to because he knew no one was there. He just knew it.

He looked at the horizon again. The light of dawn was slowly creeping over the treetops. He was going to die soon. A matter of minutes.. He was going to taste it, he was going to get the fatal kiss. The kiss of Dawn...

“WILLAH! WILLAH, WHERE ARE YOU?” He heard a voice screaming from behind. It wasn’t the voice from before, no, he remembered the voice.

“Bam,” he whispered, a tear of blood rolling down his cheek. Was Bam looking for him? Did somebody actually care about him? Even though he was cursed for death?

Oh no, Bam was going to see him. He couldn’t. Ville didn’t want Bam to see him like this, it was too cruel.

“WILLAH!” Bam yelled. Ville couldn’t take it no more, he looked over his shoulder and finally the tears ran free.

“BAMMIE!” He cried, waving with the hand unchained to the tree. “BRANDON, I’M OVER HERE!”

He heard footsteps running towards him and he let those salty tears run more freely than ever.

“Zillah..” Bam sighed, falling to the ground next to the Finn. Ville smiled and felt Bam’s dry fingers dry the blood off his cheeks.

“What happened to you?” The skater asked, looking at the blood in his palm.

Ville looked at the sky, there was almost no time left. “Bammie,” he cried, looking at the man like he’d never see him again. Because he knew he wouldn’t, he knew this was the last moment he’d see the face of the only one he’d ever loved. “I- I- I’m.. There was a girl, she- she bit me- she bit my- my neck,” Ville tugged at the neck of his shirt and showed the already healed scar on his neck.

Tears whelmed up in Bam’s eyes. “Shh.. It’s going to be alright..”

Ville fell in Bam’s lap and tugged at the skaters clothes as he sobbed those crimson tears. “Bam, Bammie... I don’t- I don’t want to die..”

Bam’s tears fell from his cheeks and into Ville’s hair. “You don’t have to Willah.. You can’t leave me like this..”

Ville looked up into Bam’s eyes, the emerald mixed with the crimson, everything too grotesque but yet too beautiful.

“I don’t want to leave you.. I love you Bammie.. Don’t let me leave you..” He cried.

Bam sobbed now. “I love you too.”

Ville held onto Bam and the skater accepted the embrace of the shell of a man he loved.

“Don’t let it go Bam, please, just, please don’t let it go.” He cried onto his shoulder.

Bam hushed him, lifting his head gently from his shoulder and drying Ville’s blood from his cheeks. “I won’t.” He pulled at his shirt and exposed his neck.

Ville looked from the bare skin and to Bam’s blue eyes. He knew what Bam wanted him to do, but he couldn’t.

“Bammie.. I-I can’t..” Ville cried, blood running from his eyes once again, onto the cold grass.

“Yes you can. Willah, don’t you remember? You told me you’d kill to share my pain. This is my pain. This is my life.”

“You don’t get me..” Ville said, looking at the handcuff on his wrist. “I am supposed to die.”

Bam’s eyes whelmed up with tears once again, those blue eyes looking like an endless ocean. “Willah...” He sobbed. “Y-you can’-can’t die...”

Ville held onto Bam’s hand and pressed the heart on his wrist onto Bam’s. “Bammie... Bam, Bam, Do you believe in fairy tales?”

Bam looked into Ville’s bloodfilled eyes and nodded. Ville pulled Bam closer and held onto him. “Then listen to me, shh..” Ville soothed him, softly whispering in his ear. He looked at the horizon, he knew it was a matter of minutes before he would become one with the dirt beneath him. “Once upon a time there was a prince called Bam. He was a very beautiful and sweet and loveable prince. Everyone adored him. Even the beast in the cave called Ville.”

Bam cried even harder now. “Ville, Ville, you-you’re no beast..”

“Shhh...” Ville’s tears fell from his eyes and it was a wonder how he mastered to speak.

“Ville was not a beast to begin with but he was cursed. And the only way he could go to heaven was to make the biggest sacrifice in his life, to sacrifice himself. That was the only way he could gain redemption. And then, one day, he walked into the sunshine even though terrible beasties couldn’t live in the sun and then he.. He.. Beast Ville died... But because he embraced death he came to heaven and waited there for his prince to come when the prince had lived his life. And then, many years later, when Prince Bam had passed, everyone was sad except for Ville who was finally able to be together with the man he adored.” He said and pulled apart from Bam. He dried the skater’s tears away and tried to smile.

“Do you understand me Bammie?”

Bam nodded and looked at the ground. Ville lifted his face with his hand and caressed his cheek, wet with salty tears, and smiled. “I love you Bammie.”

“I love you too Willah.”

“Then let go.” Ville whispered and looked at the horizon. The sun was creeping over the treetops and Ville sighed. “At least...”

“What?” Bam asked, looking into the green eyes he loved as much as the man himself.

“At least,” Ville said, smiling at Bam, “At least it is a beautiful day to die.”

Bam threw himself at the Finn and embraced him, weeping onto his shoulder and soaking his shirt.

“Bam,” Ville asked, one crimson tear running from his eye, “Can love conquer death?”

Ville felt him nod and he softly kissed him, the world around them zooming in on them and their tears mixing while the sun finally hit them.

Ville’s tears stopped and he closed his eyes. This was it. This was the kiss of dawn, the kiss of life, the kiss of love. All emotions mixed together while death was catching in on him. A laughter echoed through his head, if he was surviving this he would write about it in a song, but then reality hit him and he waited for the light to come, to bring him to heaven.

But what would he do if he opened his eyes and the devil was standing before him, waiting to bring him to hell? Then he’d never be with Bam, then the fairy tale would never come true and everything would be an illusion.

He opened his eyes and he found himself looking into the bright blue eyes that belonged to Bam. He blinked and Bam was still there, looking as though he was as confused as Ville was. Ville felt the sun on his skin, it felt.. Warm? Was this is? Was this heaven?

“Am I dead?” He asked, his voice raspy and hoarse.

Bam leaned forward and kissed him. Ville’s hands gripped Bam’s neck and deepened the kiss.

Hold on a second.

Ville’s hands? He opened his eyes and looked around, he was not at the graveyard and his hand was not chained to a tree. He was on a bed, next to Bam, the sun shining at them through the curtains of a window.

Ville looked at Bam. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.” Bam said and kissed him again.

Tears slowly ran from Ville’s eyes and he sighed into the kiss. He tasted salt in his mouth and opened his eyes, expecting to see Bam’s eyes soaked but they were dry. He dried the tears from his cheeks and looked at his palm, expecting to see blood but saw tears, alike to the ones that now ran from Bam’s eyes.

“Was it a dream?” Bam asked, holding Ville’s hand.

Ville fell back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. “I don’t care.” He looked at Bam and smiled. “As long as you’re by my side, I don’t care.”

Bam smiled and laid down beside Ville. “I love you Willah.”

Ville embraced Bam and looked out of the window. He silently closed his eyes and drifted off to a deep slumber next to his love, but before so he silently whispered the words “Thank you.”