The Secret Park

Sara's point of view

Emma’s fear terrified me. I could only do so much for her…I couldn’t take her away from her parents for more than a weekend, and even then we had to be careful and spread the visits out. They would become suspicious if she was “at a friend’s house” all weekend every weekend. I couldn’t confront her parents, because they would just take her away, and I couldn’t let her live with me because she was too young. There was virtually nothing I could do but bring her back to her parents, and let her suffer, and I hated it.

And god, I would miss her. Her perfect, sweet body. Her soft, full lips. Her bright eyes…everything about her I wanted to keep with me. She was everything to me. She trusted me to take care of her…she allowed me to touch her before anyone else---the ultimate sign of trust---but little power did I possess to take control of the situation and make everything okay.

What could I possibly do? Our only chance of survival was to wait seven months and be very careful in the meantime. However, there was a great possibility that her parents would catch on and make it impossible for us to see each other at all. They could easily remove her phone from her possession and monitor her actions before and after school. One wrong move, and they could completely take her out of my life, and make both of our lives completely miserable.

I drove in silence, in deep contemplation, holding my girl’s hand. My precious, sweet, girl.

The world flew by us at 65 miles an hour. All things were simply relative to us. What mattered was in this car. Our love. Our time together. Nothing else. We weren’t moving. The world was…and it was moving far too quickly. But it didn’t matter whether it slowed down or not. It would happen regardless. It was inevitable.

As we held hands, in the few precious hours we had together, I memorized everything about it. The thin, bony fingers that wrapped around my own, the fleshy palm, the soft, smooth skin on top, along with the tiny little hairs. I knew this hand better than I knew my own.

Sooner than either of us wanted, our time of departure came.

I pulled up to the secret park and shifted gear into park, then looked over at Emma. Her beautiful eyes looked shattered, and her face told a tale of complete sadness. My heart sunk at the sight, and immediately I pulled the smaller girl into my arms. We remained in this position for awhile, her little body pressed against mine, her face in my chest, her back heaving as she wept, and her eyes full of tears. Softly, I whispered and cooed sweet nothings in her ear, reassuring her that everything would be okay. My hands drew soft circles on her back, and I kissed the top of her head on occasion, smelling my own shampoo in her hair, and smiling to myself.

This was my girl. I had to protect her, and I would do everything in my power to ensure her happiness. I wouldn’t let her aristocratic, high-and-mighty, parents tear her away from me. No, I would make everything right. The way things should be.

Once her tears calmed, and I had kissed whatever remained away, she was able to compose herself.

“Baby…my baby girl, I love you so much.” I whispered, kissing her softly. Her arms clung to me like a child clings to its mother when frightened.
“I love you too, Sara. More than anything. I don’t want to let go...”
“I don’t want you to, but you have to. Just for now. I’ll be back, and I’ll hold you again.”

We departed with a long, soft kiss that I could barely stand to break.

It was not easy to see her go, just as it was not easy for her to walk away. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she looked back at me, and I wanted nothing more than to run after her, pull her into my arms, and bring her with me back to my home and back to where she belonged. But I knew I couldn’t, and I controlled whatever panicked instinct that was screaming at me to not let her go.

I was screaming at myself, internally. Externally, tears gleamed in my eyes, and I sat at the park for five minutes after she disappeared from my view. Then I drove home with a heavy heart.