Seventeen

I sighed as I unlocked the door to my apartment. It had been such a long day. I had two classes today that lasted two hours long each, and then to top it all off, my shift was the night shift at the diner. I glanced at the time on my microwave as I entered my apartment. I groaned seeing the clock blink 3 am. I threw my bag and purse on my couch, not caring if it made it or not, and turned back around to lock and bolt my apartment door.

I made my way to my room, stripping myself of my clothes, letting them make a trail to my room. I was too tired to carry them all to my hamper as I made my way to my dresser in my room, searching for my nightwear. I searched through my doors, finally settling on short shorts and a tank top. Even though it wasn’t incredibly hot during the summer weather of Denver, Colorado, I felt hot from all the moving around from earlier at the diner.

I finally settled into my bed, sighing as my head hit my soft, fluffy, comforting pillows. I sighed in content and closed my eyes ready to fall asleep. I groaned when I heard my cell phone ring, saying that someone was calling me. I rolled over towards my dresser and picked up my phone, seeing that Matt was calling me. I rolled my eyes and picked up.

“What do you want, Matt?” I asked annoyed.

“You’re not here at the par-tay!!!!!” Matt stated, slurring his words a bit. I groaned, not wanting to deal with this.

“I told you that I couldn’t come, Matt,” I sighed. I leaned up from my bed and turned on my lamp. “I told you that my day was packed and that I wouldn’t be able to make it.”

“So?”

“Matt,” I groaned.

“Fine,” Matt sighed dramatically. “Can you come pick me up then?”

“No! I just got home,” I cried. I fell against my pillow, extremely frustrated with Matt and his hockey player ways. He always asked me to pick him up from parties he had with his teammates. I’m sick of it.

“Come on!” he whined. “You can say hi to the guys, and then take me home. Besides, I’m drunk and so is everybody else. It’s not safe for any of us to drive!” I heard Matt giggle and whisper to his teammates that I was caving in. He was obviously drunk out of his mind if he was “giggling.”

“Fine,” I said in compliance. “Where are you guys at?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I drove up to the club that Matt said they were all at, and tried to find a spot. I hadn’t even bothered to change from my pajamas, and I was shivering from the cool summer air. Once I was parked, which happened to be near the entrance luckily, I sat in my car, and just leaned against the wheel in frustration. I was so tired of Matt calling me in the middle of the night, asking me to pick him up from a bar. It was affecting my life; I’m not getting enough sleep, and I have a job that sucks out all my energy, not to mention having long classes each day save for the weekend. And then, like the best friend I am, I go to every single one of Matt’s home hockey games. And I do all this, because I am so in love with him, even though I know it’s a hopeless cause to love him when he doesn’t return my feelings.

I jumped at the sound of tapping on my window and looked out to see one of the bouncers of the club standing there. I rolled down my window to see what he wanted.

“Are you just going to sit there all night?” he asked.

“Sorry, no,” I responded. “I’m picking someone up. I was just gathering my thoughts.”

“Tired of always coming to get this certain person?”

“Yeah, how did you know?” I asked curiously.

“I’ve seen this situation many times before,” he answered. “I’m Bob by the way.”

“I’m Katherine, or just Kat,” I said introducing myself.

“Nice to meet you Kat,” Bob said beginning to walk away.

“You too,” I called after him. I sighed and leaned back against my seat.

“And Kat?” Bob called back, turning around.

“Yes?”

“Take it easy on them, I’ve seen way too many relationships break because of incidents like this,” he told me wisely.

I smiled and thanked him, finally getting out of my car. “Well, here comes the worst,” I said to myself, bracing myself. I entered the club, after giving Bob a grateful smile, and tried to spot Matt and the rest of the Colorado Avalanche hockey team.

“Kitty-Kat!” I whipped my head to the left to see Matt and some of his teammates of the Colorado Avalanche hockey team with him, seated at a corner booth in the VIP left corner of the club. I sighed and made my way towards the table, and stopped in front of them. It wasn’t until I saw the smirks from his teammates that I had realized that I was still in my pajamas. I groaned, but finally gave up, not caring anymore.

“Ready to go home, Matt?” I asked, getting straight to the point.

“You made it!” Matt said, ignoring my question. I rolled my eyes and looked at him with my hands on my hips.

“Matt, I’m not here to party, I’m here to take you home because you’re drunk,” I told him sternly.

Matt rolled his eyes and giggled. He was seriously drunk. “Oh, come on,” Matt whined. “Please stay for a bit?” He gave me the puppy dog eyes look, but I wasn’t budging. I would not, and will not give in.

“No, Matt,” I stated firmly. “I have a huge test tomorrow, and I’m not going to fail it because of you.”

“Fine,” Matt said. He said goodbye to his teammates and followed me out the door. I looked at my cell phone for the time, and groaned seeing that it was nearly four thirty am. This has taken longer than I thought it would. We made it to my car, and I made sure Matt was buckled up before I started the engine.

“Matt,” I started, “I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you out partying and calling me in the early hours of the morning to come pick you up. I know it’s summertime and hockey season is over for you, and you guys all love partying and stuff, but I actually have school. I’m taking classes, and it requires me to take exams to pass the course! And I can’t do it anymore if I’m running on no sleep! It’s not like high school where I can pass by with less than average grades. I need those good grades, and I can’t get them without that sleep.” I glanced at Matt once we had reached a red light to see if he had processed anything I had said, only to see him passed out.

I sighed and drove us back to my apartment. Once we got there, I dragged Matt up to my apartment, with difficulty, and pulled him into my apartment. I placed him down on the couch and covered him with a blanket, and sighed once I was done. I looked at Matt and a tear rolled down my face. I didn’t bother to wipe it off.

“If I fail my test tomorrow, Matt,” I mumbled. I sighed and looked at him, and another tear rolled down my face. “You’ll be the death of me, Matt Duchene,” I whispered to myself as more tears rolled down my face. I finally wiped the tears off my face and made my way to my bedroom, and fell into my bed, falling fast asleep.

I woke up early the next morning, groggy and tired as hell. I quickly took a shower and got dressed and went into the kitchen. I grabbed a bagel and grabbed my book bag and purse and stopped once I saw Matt still asleep on the couch. His blanket had fallen off, and he was snoring like his life depended on it. I sighed and walked over to him, putting the blanket back over his body, and leaned down and kissed his cheek. I stood back up, and with one more glance, I headed out the door to go on my way to class for my huge test.

I quickly popped into Starbucks for my morning fix of a dark mocha cherry frappachino and then finally started off towards my class. Thoughts of Matt and if he was going to be okay when he woke up flooded my mind. I remembered that I had Advil for the headache that he was bound to have when he woke up in my cabinet, so he should be fine. I entered my classroom and shook all thoughts of Matt out the window, and began mentally preparing myself for the test. Hopefully, after the rough night I’d had, I wouldn’t fail.

After the two hour class with my grueling test was done, I made my way home to my apartment. Luckily, I didn’t have any other classes or work today, so I was just going to get home and collapse on my bed and knock out. I got out my keys and unlocked my apartment door once I made my way up to my steps, and opened the door after unlocking it. I entered and threw my book bag and purse and keys on the couch, only to stop in the entryway and sniff the air. It smelled like someone was cooking.

“Matt?” I called out. “Are you still here?” He was the only person who I could think to be in my apartment.

“Yeah, Kitty-Kat, I’m here,” Matt’s voice called out. “I’m in the kitchen. I decided to make you some lunch for when you got home from your huge test.”

“Oh,” I called back. I was touched that Matt had remembered, even though he was in a drunken state when I had told him about it. I wonder if he remembers my rant…..

“So how was the test?” Matt asked coming in to where I was near the table.

“Painful,” I replied, sitting down in a chair. Matt brought me a bowl of something, which turned out to be Mac and Cheese. I looked at him and he grinned sheepishly.

“The only thing I cook well,” he laughed nervously. “And yikes. Do you think you did well?”

I smiled and took a bite out of it, and agreed with his statement. “Yep, this is good,” I smiled. “And I don’t know, I hope so. I mean, I had a rough night,” I said giving him a pointed look.

Matt gave me a sheepish grin and I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he said rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous chuckle.

“Matt,” I started, “you can’t keep doing this to me. I’m a college student and I need sleep if I’m going to survive. I know you don’t know what that’s like because you have your dream job already without going to college, but I need to survive college so that I can make my dream job possible! And I just can’t do it with you needing me to pick you up at clubs, at parties, and whatever the hell you’re at when you’re drunk! I’m so sick of this! I’m your best friend, Matt, not just someone who saves you when you need them. We’re not seventeen anymore, Matt. I can’t pass college by like I did when we were in high school. It’s just not possible.” By the time I was finished, I had tears in my eyes, and I was fighting to keep them from falling.

“Kat I-,” Matt started, but I cut him off.

“Save it,” I said holding my hand up, a tear falling down my face. “I don’t want to hear it.” I looked away as more tears fell, wiping them away. “I think you should leave.”

“Kat,” Matt whispered. I shook my head and wiped more tears away.

“And to think,” I said looking at him again, about to spill my secret. “When you asked me to move here with you, so you weren’t alone, I agreed. I thought coming here would for college would be fun. I’d be able to get to see you and have my education too. You know I only came out here because not only am I your best friend, but I am so undeniably in love with you. And I couldn’t possibly be away from you. But now I’ve seen that everything I’ve done, moving out here for you, helping you with everything when you first started out, was just for you. All of this was for nothing.”

Matt’s eyes widened when I said I was in love with him and he stepped forward, but I waved him off. “Kat,” he pleaded, eyes on the brink of tears.

“Just go,” I said shaking my head.

Matt gave me one last final, sad, look, and then he left out the front door of my apartment. I sighed and let all the tears fall as I made my way to my bedroom, furiously wiping them off, trying to convince myself all of that didn’t just happen. But as I lied in my bed, thinking about how it did happen, tears streaming down my face, I sobbed as I thought of how I could’ve just lost my best friend, and the only guy I’ve ever truly loved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day I had nothing to do. I had no classes today, and it was the day that I was off work. So I just moped around the apartment, mostly staying in my room and being a slug and watching tear-jerker romance movies. I didn’t even bother changing out of my pajamas, short shorts and a tank top. I just lied in my bed, watching movies that made me cry my eyes out. I didn’t even hear the sound of my door opening because I was so wrapped up in my movies. It wasn’t until I felt someone sit down on the bed with me that I finally looked over and saw Matt sitting next to me. I could feel the heat radiating off his body because he was so close.

“Matt?” I questioned, with a confused yet curious look on my face. “What are you doing here?” I quickly wiped my eyes and paused my movie and made sure nothing was on my face.

Matt chuckled and held up the spare key to my apartment that I had given him when we had first moved to Colorado. I mentally slapped myself and Matt spoke. “It’s kinda hard to keep me out when I have the spare key to your apartment.”

I gave a weak smile and sighed. “I should have thought about that when I kicked you out yesterday.”

“We need to talk, Kat,” Matt stated.

I sighed and nodded my head. “Yeah. Would you mind if I just freshen up real quick?” Matt nodded and I headed off to the bathroom. “Just twiddle your thumbs or something while you wait!” I called out once I was in the bathroom.

I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face, but I didn’t bother changing out of my pajamas. It’s just Matt, he’s seen me like this before. I walked back into my bedroom and sat down on my bed again, and noticed that Matt was literally twiddling his thumbs while he waited for me. I chuckled and Matt looked up.

“What?” Matt asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

“You’re literally twiddling your thumbs, I didn’t mean that you actually had to do it while you waited for me,” I said with a giggle.

Matt smiled and said, “I had nothing better to do.”

I cleared my throat and said, “So, um…” I trailed off, not knowing how to start the conversation that was bound to happen.

“Look, Kat, I’m really sorry for everything I’ve put you through,” Matt began.

“You should be,” I interjected.

Matt sighed and continued on. “I shouldn’t have treated you as a taxi service or whatever. That’s not how best friends treat each other. I was wrong to treat you like that. I took you for granted, and I shouldn’t have. Will you forgive me?”

I looked into Matt’s eyes and saw pure sincerity in is apology. I looked away and stared at the blankets on my bed, my eyes brimming with tears. I wanted to forgive him so badly, but I was afraid he would take advantage of me again because I’m his best friend. A tear escaped at the thought of us being best friends and nothing more. I sighed and looked up at Matt.

“I forgive you, Matt,” I finally said. “But I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t know if I can trust that you won’t take advantage of me being your best friend so that I’ll come get you when you’re partying or something.” More tears fell down my face and I went to brush them away but Matt beat me to it.

He scooted closer to me and cupped my face between his two hands and brushed my tears away with his thumbs. I sighed into his hands and looked back up at him.

“I won’t do it ever again, Kat,” Matt whispered, honesty conveyed in his eyes. “I care too much about you.” More tears fell on my part but he just brushed them away.

“Okay,” I sniffled. “But you have to earn my trust again.”

“I will, Kat, I promise I’ll earn it back,” Matt said pulling me into an embrace. He hugged me tightly and I hugged back, glad that we were finally okay. But I still had a nagging feeling about what I had said the day before, about me being in love with him, and if he had registered that comment at all in his brain.

Matt pulled away from the hug and looked into my eyes and said, “So we’re good?”

“We’re good,” I laughed rubbing away any more tears that had fallen. I smiled at Matt and he smiled back.

“Hey, Kat?” Matt asked suddenly.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“Did you mean it?” he asked nervously.

“Mean what? That we’re good? Yeah,” I told him with a smile.

“No, I mean did you mean it yesterday when you said you were undeniably in love with me?” Matt specified.

“Oh,” I said, my cheeks tinting a deep tomato red. I looked away from Matt and breathed deeply, trying to calm my pounding heart. “Um…” I trailed off, nervous about his reaction.

“Do you? Do you really love me?” Matt asked me, and I thought I saw hope gleam in his eyes.

With that thought I gave him my answer. “Yes,” I said meekly. “Yes, Matt. I really am undeniably in love with you.” My cheeks turned even more red if it was possible and I looked away from his eyes in embarrassment.

“Good,” Matt whispered.

I turned back to look at him and said, “What?” only to be cut off by his lips. I soon melted into the kiss and kissed him back.

The kiss was very sweet, yet passionate. It started out slow and gentle, and soon turned into a slow, passion filled kiss. I could feel the heat between Matt and me grow as our kiss intensified. When we pulled away for air, I gave Matt a shy smile, and he smiled back at me.

“What was that?” I asked him with a small blush on my cheeks.

“A kiss,” Matt smiled, leaning in to peck my lips. I melted yet again even though it was only a short, sweet kiss.

I laughed once we pulled away and smiled. “I mean, what did it mean?” I asked him, playfully slapping him.

Matt looked at me and smiled. “I love you, Kat,” he said simply. My breath got caught in my throat, and my heart felt like it did a three-sixty spin. “I always have, Kitty-Kat,” I smiled when he used my nickname, “and I always will. Why do you think I wanted to you come to Colorado with me once I got drafted?”

“I thought you just wanted your best friend there with you,” I mumbled, another blush forming on my cheeks.

Matt laughed and pulled me into his arms. I had to look up at him as he spoke. “I loved you, Kat, that’s why. I couldn’t bear to be away from you. I just always hid my feelings because I didn’t think you felt the same.”

“But I always have, Matt,” I said putting my hand on his cheek. “Ever since the day we connected and became best friends, I have always loved you. It sounds cliché, I know, but it’s true.”

Matt chuckled and leaned down and kissed me softly. I smiled once we pulled away. “Well, I’m glad you finally told me yesterday. I never would have gotten the guts to tell you otherwise.”

I laughed and leaned up to kiss him on his jaw line. “Just like when you were seventeen. Remember when you asked me to the prom? You were so nervous, and you were hoping I wouldn’t reject you because you couldn’t get a date in time.”

Matt chuckled and I felt the vibrations from his laugh transfer to my body since I was in his arms. “Well, I’m not seventeen anymore, Kat.”

“Thank the Lord for that,” I smiled, leaning up to kiss him again.

“I love you, Katherine McKoy,” Matt mumbled against my lips.

I smiled as he kept kissing me over and over again and said, “I love you too, Matthew Duchene.”