Heart of Gold

March 20th (Five Months)
Chapter Three

I drove up to Zacky’s house and parked in the drive way. I just sat there, taking deep breaths, not quite sure when I was going to get up the courage to knock on the door. Finally I took one last breath until I sprinted into my doom. There was no turning back as I took another deep breath and rang the doorbell.

Soon enough the door swung open revealing a stunning green eyed, charcoal black haired, guitarist. Zacky’s green eyes stared down at her, more like glared.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He hissed through his pierced lips.

I swallowed hard and tried to clear my throat of the lump that had suddenly appeared from nowhere. I coughed a little bit, “Um I j-just wanted t-to stop by so I c-could,”

“Could what Hannah? Gravel and beg for me to take your pathetic ass back?” He interrupted me.

I could feel tears come to my eyes but I tried to keep them in for as long as I could. “I just wanted to stop by and see if you wanted a picture of our baby.”

“It’s not our baby; I don’t want the damn thing.”

“It has your blood running through its veins Zacky; it’s your child just as much as it is mine.”

“You should have gotten an abortion. Then maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. If you had just gotten rid of that problem then I would still be with you, and you would still be happy with me! You wouldn’t have to take care of that piece of shit instead of being happy with me!”

“This thing inside of me is not a problem; you’re the problem for not sticking around like a real man to become our child’s father.”

“I wouldn’t want that thing anyways! You’re just a pain in my ass and I would never want something that is part of you!” I couldn’t hold the tears in any longer. They spilled out in rivers of sorrow across my face. It felt like I couldn’t breathe, or speak, or look into the green eyes of the devil before me.

I hurriedly opened my purse and took a picture of my baby out. A tear splattered across the shiny surface, smearing and blurring the ink. I quickly slammed it to Zacky’s chest and yelled, “It’s a Boy!" and then I ran back to my car, were I took off. I couldn’t stay on the road that much for the lack of my vision, so I pulled over and collapsed in a sobbing fit.

What was wrong with him? How could he just say those things? How did he not feel one little thing for his child? For me? I couldn’t just stay there and watch him be with Gena. He was probably going to marry her and have her children and forget all about me and his soon to be son. He would have the perfect life, the life he promised we would one day have. That seemed like a life time ago, but yet I couldn’t help but to think maybe this was all some dream and that when I woke up Zacky would be in my arms as we slept, but I knew, deep down I knew, that my life just didn’t work out that way. I could never have that kind of life. My whole life things hadn’t really turned out how everyone planned, but still I fought. I always fought for what was truly mine. I guess this time it wasn’t enough.