Arches

The next day at school, I sit at the very font of all my classes, far away from distractions, close to salvation, and out of the way of intrusion. I just want to get through this day and week and month smoothly and quickly as possible. I haven't seen or heard from William, and I don't particularly care to.

I hated him, even though I tried so desperately not to, and it was all my weak self could focus on all day. Even through awkward conversations with everyone else, and Greta spoke to me as if the world was falling down around us, because of MY choices.

I saw Him at lunch, rushed away, scurrying like a frightened little rat, but it could've just been my low dirty rodent like tendencies, when he tried to speak to me, called my name, in his mocking tone. He spoke as if my whole universe would just crumble beneath me at the sound of his voice. And who's to say he's wrong...

I took this all home with me, my emotional baggage,the ideas swirling through my mind, sinister and sultry alike. William, his insatiable need for everyone's attention and discontent, then to Him, and even his name makes the acerbic knots of dread stir up a circus in my gut. My room never seemed so cold, my bed even creeked entirely too dramatically when I slumped my twisted spine against it.

I wish I had it in me to forgive William, I wish that God would grant me the patience to deal with those who have sinned, but as my brow knits at the very thought of my once befriended yet so misunderstood acquaintance, I couldn't help but seeth.

I was so furious, I didn't even care that he was denying his own blasphemes, but trying to blame them on me? Trying to accuse me of equally as horrible things... But I knew.

Knew what, Brendon?

I could never say it -

Then you're lying, you're lying to yourself and that is a sin.

But you couldn't understand!

You already know you're going to burn in hell.

Okay just shut up!

why? So you can continue on with your childish habbit of playing pretend?

"No. I am not pretending, I am not a liar, and I am not going to burn in hell, for fucks sake!"

" Brendon, sweetheart?"

Now look what you've done, your own mother can sense your sin. I hope you're proud of yourself.

" Fuck off!"

And then so suddenly my fate is sealed, my mother qawking at me like I'm the devils spawn.

" Excuse me?" Just the initial shock...

See you in the convent...

I'm so doomed.

_______¥_______

Grounded, was the least of my troubles. At least it gave me a legitimate excuse not to have to see anyone, or talk to anyone, and after attending the bible study tonight with mom and dad, I feel some what releved.

William called me, he had apologized for his actions, and begged that I forgive him, since ' you didn't deserve what I said atall'... I told him that I appreciated his courage to do such a thing, he always has patronized me for the way I deal with situations, but this time it seemed like he didn't have a thing to say.

And I was thankful.

It couldn't have been later than 11:20 PM that the cordless phone on my bedside started to tone it's annoying ring, and I begged that my parents weren't already in bed, because the last thing i wanted to do right now was talk...

The ring keeps sounding for painful moments without interruption, so I assume I don't have much of a choice, and the call ID isnt familiar which scares me into answering with caution.

" Hello?" it's a hoarse whisper because I don't want to wake anyone.

The silence on the other line beats the anticipation of the static.

" Hey baby,"

There was never a truer statement than still as the grave.I feel like if I move, he'll see me.

" You realy gotta be careful with who ya' share your personal shit with, I mean, it was soo easy to get your number." So blasé, so goddamn poisonous.

" But enough about societies blasphemies, what are you doing with your Thursday night?"

I wanted to tell him that HE was the blaspheme, wanted to scream it at him...

" N-nothing really..." But that was just so much more typical of me.

I know he senses my fear, because I hear his mockery on the other line, that small breathless laugh, then more uncomprehendable words.

" Well I tell ya', I'm having a great time with your friend Bill-" My breath catches.

"'I think he's a tad over his head though, Gabe can be kinda a wild card sometimes." Oh my god.

" What did you do to him?" I almost don't want to know the answer though, and even though it's delayed, I was still right.

" Woah, calm down babe, we're just havin a couple drinks with some buddies, nothing to worry about..."

" Stop calling me that!" My throat hurts from the severity of my whispers, but I just want away from him, and to make sure that William is safe.

" Alright, I'm sorry Brendon, but I can only do that, if you can return the favour." So cynical, so goddamn insane.

" Say my name."

He knows I can't.

" c'mon, baby -"

He knows I won't.

" R-Ry-"

"So good baby , so close-"

Im starting to like the way it sounds...

" Ry-Ryan, Ryan-"

" You can do better than that Babe-"

I'm starting to like the way it feels on my tongue...

" Ryan, Ryan, Ryan -"

My breath isragged, and I'd pray it was from the fear, and I can't help but feel accomplished as my chest rises and falls sporadically.

" Good, now that wasn't so bad, was it, Brendon ?"

That's when I decided my name sounded nice from Ryans mouth.