Arches

Role it up

So after I left Travis's home I thought I'd try to go home but   That was probably one of the worst decisions of today, mom wasn't up yet I hurried to my room I only planned to grab a few things, but my mother woke up and started freaking. And that got my dad up and well I barely had time to get out he was still pissed at me.

So I'm sitting in the park going through the small bag I had picked up and I find scissors, the first snip takes one of my loose curls off and I smile weakly. I continue to do this until my hair is short and no curl I have nothing to hide behind anymore.

I collect the bag and with both the scissors and bag in hand I go for a walk leaving  the curls behind, I continue for a while until I find a wall to sit on and watch the busy people live their lives. After last night I don't know what to do or where I can go, I mean I'm sure I could've stayed in that bed at Travis's place; but I'd just be in the way.

" Hey there mithter,  can you toth uth our ball!!" I turn to my left and see a small little baseball, I pick it up and toss it back. The small boy smiles and I smile back watching him run back to us friends, where did the time go I remember being that kid.

 The kid with lots of friends and a permanent smile on my face " William?" I turn and Gabe's smiling back, I look at him cautiously. He's bruised and I can tell he's been stitched up a little bit.

"I've been looking for you bonito," I just turn away refusing to speak to him. I just don't want to deal with him right now, "awe come on baby," he sits beside me and wraps an arm around my waist . " You can't be mad at me for the party, it wasn't my fault..." I just clench my teeth keeping my gaze cast away from him.

"Come on babe you need to get laid and relax a little bit...."I look up and I really wish I hadn't because I'm sucked into his eyes, stuck like a fly in a web.He leads me from my spot on the wall to a small little run down motel, his hands are all over me when the door closes. 

He starts peeling off my clothes and I wish I wasn't here right now, I wish I was home with my mom and dad...Back to the way I was, I can't even be in the same room as my parents now...

Even as he caresses every curve of my body, I can only think about the past. But when he whispers in my ear, tells me I'm beautiful and special I'm snapped into reality. What he says he doesn't really mean, in an hour or two when I decide I have ' places to be' he'll yell and scream and give me a slap or two . 

And then the cycle here will repeat and it's on a roll so, over and over the same thing until one day he goes to far and I'm dead...

If I would have met Travis before gabe I wonder how different my whole situation would be.. I'm thinking along these lines staring at the ceiling when I realize Gabe's talking to me." are you even listening to me?" I turn my head to look at him"yes" lying is the most fun you can have with or without clothing, because when you get real good at it people don't see the sadness in a smile; the fear in a laugh.

" So I have to go in fifteen minutes court date, I want you waiting here for me when I get back..." I just nod not planning to be just a booty call, I think I'll just go wander for a while maybe go and watch my house for a bit ;maybe go apologize to mom with my tail between my legs. 

I watch gabe dress before even daring to put my clothing , he looks at me for a minute before shaking his head. " Back by three."

I nod following him out we part ways like we're total strangers, I wonder why he is the way he is.... I wonder hat just as much as I wonder who I am now, and the more I think the more I know the past is the past; you gotta make the present and future count.