Arches

I'm sitting in class i feel bad about what i did i mean i guess he didn't deserve how cruel i was being, but then again brendon was being cruel himself; and i thought he'd understand. Still i should apologize but later, i drop my books onto the floor coincidentally one of gabe's whores is walking down the isle. She trips falling to the floor i don't laugh although i probably could, "you did that on purpose!" She squeals and i just roll my eyes "no i didn't i didn't see your skanky ass.." oh was that me?

"Your just jealous because your not as pretty as i am, and besides who the fuck would want a fucking dick like you?" I look away digging my nails into the desk, the class is going on and behind me i can hear her giggles and her whispers of 'love' this and 'sex' that oh yeah so much better than me... Then a note falls on my desk and i open it:

what's wrong bonito?

I roll my eyes crumple the paper and toss it on the floor, i pretty much stare out the window the rest of class. When i get home apparently my mother got word of the argument brendon and i had earlier (probably gretta little witch..) "Your going to apologize to your friend and i want you to mean it mister, he didn't deserve your words and you had no right accusing him of that disgusting way." I glare "disgusting? So you find me repulsive mom?!?! " She doesn't respond and i can feel the hot tears stinging my eyes.

I rush upstairs to my room and slam the door, i grab my phone and dial brendon's place."Hello?" "Hi it's william i wanted to apologize to brendon but i'm sure he doesn't want to talk to me so please pass it on." I hang up and start pacing my room my mom hates what i am my like utterly best friend thinks i'm dirty and sinful, yet he has the same urges i do; he just won't admit it.

And i'm the bad guy in all this open about who i am, uncomfortable with the fact that this guy has been creeping me out.I'm so frustrated right now that i just need to get out and walk.I slip out under the radar and head for the school park down the block, i seat myself on the swings and pump my legs harder and harder,it burns but i'm not gonna stop until i'm ready.

It feels good to have the wind in my hair , and then it stops and i realize i fell off i swear i'm not stupid it just never really hurt.Getting up i brush the dirt off my pants and start walking laps around the park, thinking about everything i do and the obvious consequences. Then it starts to get grey "really now? This can't get any worse can it?" I spoke to soon it starts to rain and i stomp my feet and sit on the ground like a three yearold just fed up right now.

Then i hear voices i recognize two of them and i really wish my legs didn't ache so badly right now, maybe if they didn't i could run."But gabe.." "I said we'd talk about it later now please your lucky i'm walking you home..." please don't see me please don't..[i/] "Hey there," I don't look at them i just keep my eyes focused on the playground."Come on he's not worth your time little rat.."

I roll my eyes getting back onto my feet "at least i don't fuck anyone or anything that walks," i proceed to walk away when there's a hand grabbing my arm."Let.me.go." But he doesn't and i just want to hit him, but i don't instead i let him walk me back home; i don't know why i let him but i did."Now i'd get inside before your rents freak...." "They don't care but whatever," He doesn't get a chance to respond because i go inside and straight to my room where i curl up on my bed and listen to the hum of the radiator.

I wish i had a switch to make me what everyone wants me to be, but i don't so i see no point in hiding who i am....