Take It Slow, 'Cause I Can't Be on My Own

Alex’s point of view.

When I pulled up in Jack’s driveway, I noticed Rian and Zack’s cars parked out on the street. There were overcast skies and dew on the grass from last night’s rain. It was May, the very last month of my second senior year. The ending of my highschool career wasn’t something that worried me, but it sure as hell worried my mother. She knew I was smart, she knew I had potential to have some sort of great career. She supported me, but she wasn’t thrilled of the idea of her son not going to college. I’ve always known it wasn’t for me. I’ve always known music was.

I guess that’s why we were meeting here, today. We needed to learn how to actually play as a band, and we needed to pick up the pace if we would ever make it.

As soon as I walked up the steps of Jack’s house, I could hear the beat of Rian’s drums coming from the basement. Before I joined them downstairs, I set my guitar down at the entrance and walked up the stairs, searching the living room, dining room, and kitchen. I couldn’t hear anything except for the drumming. I could feel the vibrations in the soles of my shoes. I stepped up the next flight of stairs quietly. Emily’s door was cracked open, and I could faintly hear Something Corporate‘s ‘Konstantine’ playing from her iPod dock. If I wouldn’t have known any better, I would have thought she was gone. She was covered in piles and piles of blankets, and there were at least seven pillows surrounding her. “Emily?” I whispered, seeing if she was awake.

I crept over to her bed, and sat down next to her. I shook the huge mass off pillows and blankets, but she still didn’t wake. I stripped the blankets off just so far that I could see her face. “Emily, wake up.” She just mumbled a bit and tried to pull the blankets back over her head.

“Emily, what are you doing?”
“Sleeping, go away.”
“Why do you have all these blankets?”
“..Cold..” I could barely hear her mumble.

Her dark brown hair was matted down to her forehead, little strings dripping in sweat. Her face was makeup-less and red.

“Emily, you’re sweating.”
“I’m cold… shh…”

I pulled the blankets off of her, she was wearing a Dulaney sweatshirt and a pair of skinny jeans. I shook her again, trying to wake her.

“Emily. Seriously, wake. up.”
She turned her head to me and her eyes fluttered open, “what?”
“Wanna come down and watch us practice?” I smiled at her, hoping she’d get up.
“I’m tired, Alex..”
“Pleaaaaseeee, Emily,” I wined.

She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, looking around the dark room. Sunlight barely peeked through the clouds even though it was already past noon. When she got up, I filled the warm spot in her bed and laid down waiting for her to dress.

“Are you going to leave?” She asked me.
“Why would I leave?”
“Because best friends don’t see each other naked.”
“Yes they do,” I gave her a smile and winked.
“You are a pervert and a pedofile.”

I watched her take off sweatshirt and tank top, she faced her closet, rummaging through t shirts and tank tops. She picked an old New Found Glory t shirt, it had holes around the collar and the stitching was falling apart. She left her jeans on and grabbed a blanket from the floor. Before she walked out the door, I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her neck. She stood at only 5’3”, her head didn’t even make it to my chin when we hugged.

“Are you going to hug me back or just stand there?” I hugged her tighter.
“You woke me up and here I am, what more do you want?”

I kissed the top of her head before walking down the hall. The walls were white, adorned with photos of the Barakat family from the past decade. I saw her eyes flick to the portrait of her and her mother before turning away from me. “I’ll be right there.” She headed off into the kitchen to get some breakfast, I assumed. I grabbed my guitar and walked downstairs.

“Finally.” Jack mumbled as he stood up, ready to play.
“Sorry.. I woke Emily up.”

I saw Emily come in the door, holding a bowl of cereal and a bottle of water with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her eyes were still red, but she was beginning to wake up. She crossed the room, making her way to the couch. I saw Jack kiss her cheek before she sat down, ‘morning’ she mumbled grumpily.

~

Emily’s point of view.

After about forty minutes of them practicing, I was almost falling asleep again. I didn’t know how many times I was going to hear their cover of ‘Time To Break Up’. “I’m going to make something to eat, again.” I left the band room in the basement and moped around a bit until I made it to the kitchen. I found some frozen pancakes in the freezer and set the microwave for four minutes. I stood there, watching the digital clock change numbers every second, 3:35, 3:34, 3:33, 3:32.

I felt a two hands on my shoulder and I jumped around, almost smacking my head on the open cabinet door. I let out a sharp gasp, turning around to see Matt.

He let out a small laugh, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I stood there, confused. “W.. what are you doing here?”
“Nothing, just hanging out.”
“Well.. Uh.. Jack and everyone are downstairs already.. So..”
“Yeah, I know. What are you making?”
For some reason I felt my cheeks flush red, I looked away nervously. He was still only about a foot away from me, standing over me at about 5’9”.

“Uhm.. Pancakes…”

I heard the microwave go off, beeping loudly behind me. I turned around to take out my steaming pancakes and set them on a plate. I suddenly found myself breathless, and nervous. This was new to me. Matt stepped away from me, leaning against the counter. He just stood there, watching me intently as I drowned my pancakes in maple syrup. I tried to avoid eye contact.

“Nice shirt.” I couldn’t tell whether he was being sarcastic or sincere. I just stared at him. “You like New Found Glory?”
“Oh.. uh.. Yeah, I guess so.”
He smiled wide at me, his teeth were white and straight, perfect. “They’re my favorite.”
I tried to force a smile, but it wasn’t really working.
“Why are you so awkward?” Matt asked me with a stupid smirk on his face.
“That’s really rude.” I grabbed the plate of pancakes and a fork and tried to leave the kitchen.
Matt blocked the doorway, “no really. Why are you like that?”
“Like what? I’m just trying to eat my pancakes.”
“I’m just trying to get to know you.” He seemed genuine this time.
“..Why?” It was barely even audible.
“Why not?”

Once again, I felt breathless. I searched for words in my head, an answer to such a simple question. Everything stopped, all the thoughts in my head disappeared. I couldn’t think of anything. His brown eyes were searching mine, and I couldn’t look away. The glass plate in my hand was hot and began to burn my fingers, but I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think.

I quickly snapped out of it when I heard Jack coming up the stairs. Matt stepped out of the way and I headed up the stairs into my bedroom, still feeling weak, my stomach still turning, I couldn’t even eat my fresh and steaming pancakes. I sat down on my bed and tried to calm myself down. I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know why Matt had any interest, and I didn’t know why I even cared what he had to say. We’d had only a few short conversations at lunch, which Alex was included in. As I laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, I could feel the house vibrating from the drumming and the guitars, and all I could think of was his voice.