Take It Slow, 'Cause I Can't Be on My Own

Just as he promised, Alex was waiting for me at three o’clock, just where he always was. Before I was even eight feet away, I could hear old Blink 182 playing from his car. When I opened the passenger door of his brand new, 2010 Nissan Sentra, he cut the music and smiled at me. “How was your day?”

I wanted so badly to tell Alex every word Matt had said to me, gush about him and our plans for tonight. I just wanted to tell someone, I wanted to just let out my excitement. Alex was my best friend, and I told him everything. And as great as he is to talk to, when it comes to girl stuff, Alex isn’t really the best listener, or the best advice giver. But what could I expect, he was an eighteen year old boy. Even though I was Alex’s best friend, Jack was also his best friend. Jack comes before me, and it wasn’t something I minded really, and naturally, Alex tells Jack everything. I figured it wouldn’t be the best idea to let Jack know about my plans for tonight. For the time being, I decided to just wait to tell Alex. Besides, I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

“Oh, you know, normal. Just usual stuff. How was your day?”

A huge smirk spread across his face. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a long sigh. “My day,” he paused, “was fucking great.”

“Who were you with?”
“Some chick from my spanish class. Man, she’s really something,” he laughed.
“Uh huh. What’s her name?”
“Kelsey. Or.. Wait, no, I think it was Karen.”
“Uh huh…”
“She’s blonde, and real cute, and tiny. But I mean, she fills out a tank top real nice.”
“Uh huh. I’m resisting the urge to vomit in my mouth.”

Alex didn’t like to listen to my boy talk, and I definitelydidn’t like listening to his girl talk. I would never mind Alex talking about a girl he liked, or maybe even talking about a conversation he had with a girl. That kind of girl talk was very, very rare. Mostly it was him sharing all the dirty details of his sexual escapades.

“Oh boo hoo, I didn’t even tell you the best part-”
“Why don’t we go home and you can tell Jack all about it?”
“Jack’s not home. Just listen.”
I plugged my ears. “I’m not listening, la la la laaaa, I’m not listeninnnng.”

He rolled his eyes and put the car in drive, pulling out of the parking lot.
“Wanna go to a party with me, Jack and Ri tonight?”

I completely forgot to think of an excuse to get out of the house tonight. “Uh…” I tried to think of anything that I could say, anywhere I could lie about going.

“Well, no.. I have plans.”
“You have plans?” He asked skeptically.
“Um. Yes. I’m going to Jessica’s.”
“Jessica? Jessica who?”
“You know.. Jessica.”
“You mean that hot brunette you used to hang around with?” I saw him smile, knowing exactly where this conversation was going.
“…Yeah. Her.”
“Maybe you should bring her to the party. That’d be fun.” He glanced over at me and winked.
“Alex, just shut up.”

As soon as Alex dropped me off, I went to my room. I opened my phone, and dialed Jessica’s number. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while. We didn’t have any classes this year, so we kind of just drifted apart. I’m sure she would be surprised to be getting a phone call from me.

“Hello?”
“Hi, Jessie, I haven’t talked to you in a while.”
“Yeah, how have you been, Emily?” Her voice sounded excited.
“Good, pretty much the same. Look, I kind of.. Need a favor from you.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I need a place to stay tonight. I’m going out with someone, and I’m not exactly telling Jack about it. But since finals are next week, I figured we could study a bit and just catch up.” I wasn’t sure if she’d want to see me or not. I figured she’d be upset with me for making no effort to rekindle a friendship until I needed something from her. Surprisingly, she said that sounded great. We made plans for her house at seven.

I opened up my lap top for the first time in a few days. The black screen flickered on, and a picture of me, Jack, and Alex circa 2001 appeared. I’d set it as my background two years ago when I got the computer. It was my very favorite picture of all of us; we were all in Alex’s pool in his backyard. We all huddled up on the edge of the pool when Mrs. Gaskarth said she was going to take a picture. I was six, almost seven. I had just lost my front two teeth. We were all smiling so big; we were all so young and so happy. I checked my facebook, responded to any new notifications I had, and shut the laptop. I heard the door open from downstairs.

I skipped down the hall and down the stairs. “Jack, I need to you take me over to Jessie’s tonight.”
“Jessie’s? You shouldn’t go anywhere the weekend before finals. You should study.”
“That’s why I’m going over there.” I felt horrible lying to Jack, but it wasn’t a complete lie.
He seemed skeptical, but finally agreed.

~

It was almost six thirty, and I still wasn’t even close to being dressed. As I slid open the doors to my closet I realized I had no idea where I was going tonight. I didn’t know what to wear, whether I should dress up or dress down. I decided to just play it safe with a yellow floral sundress and black sandals. I kept my hair natural tonight, adding a few waves here and there. I added a little pink lipstick and called it good. As I got grabbed my text books and notes and pushed them into my bag, I couldn’t ignore the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I grabbed my bag and headed down the stairs. “You’re a little dressed up…” Jack muttered. I ignored him, grabbing my house key and a light cardigan and headed out to his car.

“I thought you and Jessie weren’t friends anymore,” he said, Everything In Transit playing softly in the background.
“We’re not not friends, we just don’t see each other much anymore.”

He nodded, not saying much else. Jessie’s house was only a few miles away, we arrived only about five minutes later. It was nearing seven o’clock and the sun hadn’t even begin to set. Summer was getting closer and closer every hour. “I’ll pick you up in the morning at noon. You should be there when Dad gets home. Call me if you need anything.”

Jessie’s house was exactly the same as it always was, which was comforting. Almost as soon as I left my things in her room, Matt called me, asking for directions. Just the sound of his voice put my stomach in knots.

“So who’re you going out with?” Jessie asked.
“Matt Flyzik..”
“I have Spanish with him. Isn’t he a senior?”
“Yeah.. He’s three years older than me, and Jack’s best. friend. You can see my dilemma.”
“Wow, yes, I can understand. Are you excited?”
“Mostly nervous, actually. I mean, I haven’t even talked to him that much and I’ve been pretty stand-offish towards him. It was unexpected, to say the least.”

As soon as I had finished the sentence, the doorbell rang. I checked my hair and makeup in the mirror before heading out her bedroom door. She gave me a nervous, excited, ‘good luck’ look and followed me out the door. I opened her front door; Matt was wearing a white t-shirt, cargo shorts, vans, and his hair was matted down by a black flat-billed hat. I felt completely overdressed, but as soon as he saw me, he looked me up and down and just smiled. He held out his hand to me, I could feel myself already blushing as I wrapped my fingers with his, and shut the door behind me.