Love on Our Mind

Ivory POV

Stephen and I came into his room and I saw John was so weak with an oxygen mask on his face. I came to the left side of his bed followed by Stephen. John made a little smile when he saw me.

“Hey...” He said in such a low voice.

“Hey John, how are you?”

“S-super,” he joked and I could see his smirked behind the mask.

“Ehm John I’m so sorry. I-I’m... Ehm... I...,” It was hard for me to say something to John, so I grabbed Stephen’s hand so tight. Maybe it hurts him but he didn’t say anything but patted my back.

“No. I’m sorry. My fault,” said John as he shook his head.

He tried to get up from his bed, but I said to him that he needed some rest until he fully recovered but he refused. His hand tried to reach the oxygen mask and took it off.

“John put that back. You’re not strong enough.”

I took it and wanted to help him to use it but John held my hand and he shook his head. I knew he still hurts because he kept holding the place where he stabbed himself. John was trying so hard to be strong.

“I-I’m... I’m all good”

He was comforting himself with a pillow and laid back. John took one long deep breath before he looked back to Stephen and me.

“I want t-to tell you s-something important”

“Can we just talk about that after you get out of the hospital, John? You’re sick and I’m sure we can wait,” I tried to convince him.

“No! I-I can’t keep this anymore. I have to t-tell you!” He stuttered.

His eyes were full with sadness and he grabbed my right hand and put it on his chest. My heart beating so fast and I had a feeling that this wasn’t going to be good.

“Is that so important, John?” Stephen who kept silent since we were in the room suddenly speaking.

John nodded. He went silent for a second and then started to tell us everything. I was listening to him and I couldn’t believe about it. My mind suddenly became black and couldn’t think about anything. My teeth were chattering. I was trying so hard not to scream at John. I clenched my hands and hurting myself because my nails dig into my skin.

John tried to hold back my hand but I ward him. Tears ran down my cheeks. I could not believe John was the one who set the fire in my house and cause my family gone forever. I really want to punch him in the face but a part of me told myself not to do that. Stephen tried to calm me down but it ends up to a curse which was coming from my mouth.

“I-Iv... Ivory, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to do that. I love you but you chose Stephen. I was so mad and I thought you will love me because I saved your life. I didn’t mean to make your family gone. I didn’t mean to, Ivory!” John tried to get up from the bed but Stephen held him back.

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear anything from you anymore!”

I burst out and I remembered I was running in the hallway. I passed Alysia and Maren in the waiting room. They look confused when I ran in tears. Alysia gasped, she got up and ran to John’s room. Alysia walked into John’s room, after that Stephen came out and he called me. I started to run again but Maren stops me. I ward her hands and ran to the stairs. I bumped some nurses and almost got hit by someone in a wheelchair when I turned at the corner. Someone who brought a beautiful flower bouquet accidentally got hit by me. I said sorry to him but I didn’t help him because I saw Stephen get closer to me and I didn’t want anyone to come near me for now.

I ran as fast as I could at the stairs and Stephen kept chasing on me from behind. He kept calling my name but I didn’t want to stop. I just want to run from this place. I just want to get out of this place. I didn’t pay attention to which one was front of back, so I pushed the door but it was the hospital backyard. I was tired but kept pushing myself to walk. Stephen finally reached me and he took my hand.

“Ivory please...”

“I can’t believe it! I really can’t believe why he did something like that! Why? Why Stephen, why!?” I freaked out.

“Ivory please... Here sit down” Stephen tried to calm me down as he took me to a bench.

“Let go off of me!”

“Ivory...”

“Don’t touch me! You and your crazy brother should stay away from me!”

I punched Stephen several times, tried to release all my anger and blame someone for all these things. Stephen didn’t even try to stop me from hitting him. I screamed and it made my tears ran faster. Stephen hugged me while I kept punching his chest.

“You can hit me as much as you want. I’m not going to leave you. I’m sorry for what happened. I’m so sorry baby. I’m sorry...” He whispered in my ear.

I slowly lost my energy and stop hitting on him. I started to calm down while Stephen holds me and comforted me. I sobbed on his chest and I could feel he was holding me tight.