My Worst Nightmare

I was sitting at the kitchen table with my mom eating fruit loops, it was silent and I was really tense. My mom wanted to start a conversation on how school was but I really didn’t want to talk. She stood up and left, I then got up and put my bowl in the sink. Standing there in the position I was in hurt my legs so I went up the stairs and into the bathroom, the warm water would cool my calves down. But I thought maybe I should call Jonathan and apologize for the things I said. I walked into my room and got my phone out to see I had three missed calls from Austin, he was so obsessed.

I dialed in Jonathan’s number and listened to it ring, his voice made my brain light up.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” I paused. “I…uh…called to apologize.” It went quiet and then I heard her in the background.

“Jonathan, baby, come on, lets get it done.” I heard him chuckle in the phone.

“Oh…well…uh…what??” I asked confused.

“I have to go, got some business to take care of.” He laughed and hung up.

I threw my phone against the wall and stormed into the bathroom slamming and locking the door. I turned the knob to warm and stripped off my clothes. I hated my body, so many stretch marks were permanent on my sides and thighs, and I gained ten pounds since I left last year. My feet went first, then my legs and then my whole body was under the water. I soaked my hair, washed it, then just stood there looking at the wall.

What am I doing here? I don’t belong here. No one wants me on this planet so why stay?

I washed off my body then stepped out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around me. When I opened my bedroom door Austin was sitting on my bed.

“What are you doing here?” I shut the door and opened the closet.

“Why did you flip out on Jonathan yesterday?” He stood up and hugged me as I stood there completely naked.

I pushed him off and put on my underwear and bra, “because he deserved it.”

“He didn’t do a fucking thing to you!” Austin never got angry with me; he always wanted to see me with a smile on my face.

“SHUT UP!” I yelled.

“No! Why are you mad at him?!”

“Because…” I growled.

“I should’ve never believed you! Jonathan is my friend and…he was right!” He walked to the door. “You don’t deserve a fucking thing in this world. Why don’t you go jump off a cliff?”

“What?”

“If you miss Jonathan that much then do what he tells you. Do us all a favor and never come back. Go back to where you belong.” He left with the end of the conversation.

I stood there blank, nothing was roaming in my head; I was so confused. Jonathan is telling them that I’m a liar.

I put on my clothes and walked down stairs. My dad sat on the couch, his eyes connected to the TV.

“Where are you going?” He asked, eyes not leaving the show.

“Out for a while, need to think.” I shut the door and got into my car that my parents had just bought me. Were things changing, am I just realizing that my past is telling me something? Maybe I do need to leave. I sighed and turned on the radio, I had forgotten that my phone was laying broken on my floor so now, no one could contact me ever again, it’ll just be like old times…like I don’t exist.

Jonathan’s Point Of View
I grabbed my phone and dialed in Drella’s number, it started to ring but then went straight to her voicemail. “Hey it’s Drella, I’m out living my life so leave a message…or whatever.” I waited for the beep to pop.

“Hey Drella its Jonathan, I…uh…wanted to apologize for the way I acted. I guess you probably never want to talk to me again so yah…I guess I’ll see you around.” I hung up and put my phone in my pocket. I need to go out. I walked downstairs and to the door.

“Where are you going?” Austin stood up behind me.

“Out, I need to think.” I walked out the door and to my car. God, what am I thinking, is our past really telling me something? Do I need to make up for what I missed? I turned on the radio. I just don’t want to exist anymore, just like old times.