London Foolishly

I couldn't sleep. This happens a lot and usually I had Alexis to occupy my time and wear me out, but on nights when I was alone the nights wore on. It gave me too much time to think. Sometimes too much time to think about the choices I made.

All that I could think of was different ways to quit the band. I couldn't hurt the fans or my family, but I couldn't keep being miserable either. I was stuck, the only thing I could think of was just disappearing completely, but that would still hurt people. And of course that would be hard to do when everyone knows my face.

Then again if I just went on a little vacation by myself out here in the English country side maybe no one would notice me. If I planed everything right I could leave as soon as the concert was over the next day.

I closed my eyes a content smile on my face as I fell into a deep sleep for the first time in months.

"Nicholas!"

I turned over in my sleep a few minutes later, or so it seemed, trying to ignore my mothers persistent yelling.

"Nicholas Jerry," oh middle name scary. "Get up now!"

"Too early." I mumbled sleepily. "Go away."

"Don't tell me to go away." She said frustrated. "Get up or I'll get your father."

"I don't care if he comes in here." I grumbled but opened my eyes anyway.

"Thank you." My mother said relaxing a bit. "Now hurry and get dressed we have to go to the venue in an hour."

I threw a thumbs up before rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I sat up and looked around the still dark room. I slipped my legs out of the covers and stumbled to my window. There was a thick fog hanging above the street blanketing everything in gray. I sighed sadly realizing the weather on London would always reflect my mood.

I showered and put on some clean clothes; my clothes were all picked out and approved by my management. I was nineteen years old but I couldn't be trusted to pick out my own clothes. Ridiculous I know.

"Time to go!" Someone yelled through the hotel room door.

I slipped on my favorite pair of chucks then left the room. I ran into my older brother Kevin and little brother Frankie in the hall.

"Good morning." I said quietly to them.

"Morning." Frankie said excited. "Mom is taking me to see London while you guys work."

I mustered the best smile I could for Frankie's sake, but really I just wanted to cry. Frankie could be a kid for as long as he wanted, that is of course if he never made the mistake of having talent.

"That's great Frank." I said.

Kevin gave me an approving look but said nothing to me. He made the choice to keep his distance from me most days.

"Hey guys wait up!"

I looked behind and saw Joe trying to catch up to us whilst pulling on pants. He had his shoes dangling in one hand and his phone in the other.

"What are you doing?" I asked slightly amused.

"I just woke up ten minutes ago." Joe panted as he stopped in front of us and dropped his shoes on the ground.

"So you're getting dressed in the hall?" I asked.

"Obviously." Joe retorted. He picked up his shoes and quickly slipped them on. "Onwards!"

Joe and Frankie ran ahead of Kevin and me to the elevator doors racing each other. Joe was doing a victory dance as the elevator doors opened and too girls stepped out. They laughed at Joe as the walked by whispering to each other.

"Well shit." Joe said humiliated.

"I'm telling on you!" Frankie yelled.

"No you won't!" Joe said grabbing Frankie and proceeding to tickle him.

"Come on we're running late." Kevin said impatiently.

Joe set Frankie back on the ground then we all entered the elevator. Joe and Frankie continued to goof off while Kevin and I watched. I smiled at the sight of my brothers having fun like we used to all the time.

"Oh my gosh!" Joe suddenly exclaimed looking at me in shock. "It’s a smile!"

I rolled my eyes but laughed along with my brothers. "Shut up." I said pushing Joe playfully.

Joe gave me a look then put me in a head lock. "Don't tell me to shut up little brother."

"Joe!" I yelled trying to pry his arms off of me.

"Boys."

Joe's arm loosened from around me instantly at the sound of Our Father’s voice. I watched my father as he gave us all a disproving look.

"That's enough." He said. "Now get to the car."

I followed my overly obedient brothers out of the hotel and into a crowd of fans. I stopped to take some pictures and sign some autographs with a smile on my face. One thing I couldn't do was disappoint my loyal fans. They were always there for me and the best thing about them is they are support of what ever I want to do as long as I have a good excuse.

Too soon we were ushered away from the fans to the waiting car. I sent a goodbye wave then went straight to the back of the car.

"Alright its time for wardrobe then sound check and sound check party." My father started listing off.

"We'll be back by the end of you sound check party." My mother added in smiling warmly at my little brother.

We arrived at the venue a short while later and of course there was a crowd waiting for us. I stepped out of the car after my older brothers with a smile on my face. I signed whatever was thrust at me and smiled for pictures. We were running a little late so we had to say goodbye to the fans faster then they would have liked.

"You have an hour until sound check.” My father reminded us as my brothers and I followed our body guard to our dressing room.

Once inside Joe promptly jumped onto the little couch, situated in the back of the room, and lounged out leaving no room for anyone else. I went straight for the rack of clothes waiting for us to go through. I found the clothes marked with my name and rifled through them until I found what I wanted to wear.

I glanced at my brothers who were having an arm wrestling contest instead of getting ready for the concert. I quickly dressed into the new clothes and put my clothes for after the concert in my bag then set in next to the rack of clothes.
“Yes!” Joe yelled. He had obviously won the contest. “I so just poned you!”

Kevin was mumbling profanities under his breathe as he walked over to the clothes. Joe followed him gloating very loudly about his victory.

“Hey guys I’m going to go take a walk.” I said as I grabbed my cell from my bag.

“OK. Be back here before sound check.” Kevin said.

I nodded my head once to show I heard him then left the room. I took a deep breathe then started to walk down the hall. I passed some of our crew members who were still assembling the stage and everything else for the concert. They were cutting it a little close today. I found an open area empty of people and sat down against the wall. I let my head rest against the wall and shut my eyes. I just needed some time to myself before the show. It took a lot out of me to put on a happy front.

“Hey, um are you OK?”

I opened my eyes and saw a girl standing in front of me. She looked at me concern written across her beautiful face.

“I’m fine.” I said with a small smile.

“You sure? Normal people don’t just sit on the ground looking like their dog just died.”

“I just needed some air.” I said. I stood up and faced the girl.

I took a good look at her; she had short blond hair that was pined back on one side revealing an ear full of piercings. Her dark green eyes were still watching me intently, like she was reading my mind or something. She wore a uniform the logo on the right side of the shirt was the name of the venue.

“You work here?” I asked.

“Obviously.” She said with a smile. “I’m Sofia.”

“I’m Nick.”

“I know who you are.” Sofia said with a shrug.

The smile I had quickly fell as I realized of course she knew who I was. That’s probably why she came over here. It happens all the time when fans try to act like they don’t want anything from you and treat you like a normal person.

“Your face is on the programs I just took to the merchandise table.” She elaborated. “And my niece is in love you.”
“You’re not a fan?” I asked. I had to know if she was just talking to me t o get something.

“Not really. I mean your music is alright but not my taste.”

“What kind of music do you listen to?” I asked genuinely curious.

“That’s a personal question.” Sofia said with a grin. “I don’t just tell anyone, even if they're a rock star.”

“What do I have to do?”

“That my friend is top secret.” She looked down at her watch then back to me. “I have to get back to work. It was nice meeting you, rock star.”

She walked down the hall and as she turned the corner she looked back at me and smiled. I walked back to the dressing room my thoughts on the girl I had just met.

“Where have you been?” Joe asked when I entered the room.

“A walk.” I answered.

“You’re lucky you got back in time.” Kevin said. He and Joe were sitting on the couch. “Dad’s already been in here. We told him you were going to the bathroom.”

“Thanks.” I said.

The door opened and my father entered the room. “Alright boys lets go.”