November Rain

Bridyn’s totally smashed and probably has no idea what he’s saying, but I’m still taking advantage of it. That probably makes me a bad person.

I let him lay in my arms as he slept. I snuggled up to him, wishing that he was actually mine. I know he isn’t. But... still… drunken words are sober thoughts.

For the first time, it occurred to me that perhaps that maybe… Bridyn actually liked me like how I liked him. He even kissed me. But there’s still the matter of how he goes out with so many girls. Maybe he never stayed with one for long because he’s gay or… maybe he’s not gay and I just…

I’m so confused. I know I want that kiss to mean more than it really does. I mean, it was just the side of my mouth. He might have been aiming for my cheek.

But either way, he probably won’t even remember this tomorrow.

*~*~*~*

The next morning, I wake up alone. Bridyn’s nowhere, not even downstairs trying to find something to eat. I thought it was a dream at first because I do have dreams like that sometimes. I’d be holding him in my arms but then I wake up and he’s not there.

Either way, I go and get ready for school awaiting the next hellish task that Sammy’s set up.

“Honey? You didn’t tell me Bridyn spent the night,” My mom called to me.

“Oh, sorry,” I apologized.

“You know it’s okay if Bridyn spends the night. It’s just… he left before you woke up. Did he forget his homework or something? ”

“Probably. You know him,” I sighed, knowing the real truth.

*~*~*~*

I’m so sick of Sammy, of everything.

I narrowly avoided seeing talking to Sammy in the hall as I was slipping past her and into my first period class.

But on the way, I spotted Bridyn. Our eyes met for just an instant and before I could speak up, he turned away and left.

The pain in my chest was unbelievable at that point. Either, he hadn’t remembered and we were back to the way things were or he actually remembered and he’s avoiding me because he’s embarrassed.

Either way, it sucked. I want things back to how they were.

Things can’t go back to they were, I know that.

“Kannon. There’s a party tonight. You’re going,” Sammy told me after lunch.

I gritted my teeth but agreed.

“Great, pick me up at eight,” she says before kissing me and wandering off. If I could, I’d wash off the taint her lips left behind.

*~*~*~*

I knew that Bridyn and I can’t go back to the way things were so that helped me make the decision. We couldn’t go back, so I’d introduce a new idea to him. The fact that I like him.

If he remembered last night, he might be okay with it... But if he doesn’t… what could it really hurt? I mean, we’re already fighting.

If he was okay with it, I’d be free of Sammy and maybe I wouldn’t have to watch him be with any other girls. I’d save him from drinking by keeping him away from Vanessa.

Saying I wasn’t scared as I slipped away to find Bridyn would be a lie. I was shaking and a thousand different scenarios were going through my mind.

When I finally found him, without saying a word, I pulled him upstairs, his protests falling on deaf ears. If I didn’t do this now, I might never work up the nerve to do it again.

“Wh-what’s going on?” He asked, as soon as I found an empty room.

“Last night,” his eyes widened in shock when I said that. “I don’t know if you remember or not. But… it made me realize that I don’t want to lose you. So, please, think about it carefully when I say that… I like you. I mean, I really like you.”

Realizing that this might be the last chance I get, I lean in, letting my lips hover above his for a few seconds, giving him time to push me away if he really hates it.

I let my hands move up to his neck and ghost over his cheeks, feeling his warm, soft skin beneath them. Finally, I press against his lips softly. I shiver at the feeling of the lips I’ve been waiting forever to kiss. All too soon I pulled away. I didn’t want to push this any further than I needed to.

“That was all I wanted,” I said, trying to keep the inevitable sorrow from my voice.