Being in Love With You Has Driven Me Insane

I woke up a few hours later in my bed. With nothing on and Jack beside me. The last thing made me jump out of my bed. I seriously must have been really stupid for doing what I did. I never even had any desire to cheat on somebody, knowing how I would feel if somebody had done it to me. Now I felt like a complete and utter hypocrite.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god."

"Jerr." He said getting up and trying to touch me.

"Don't touch me. Just go." I said before going into my bathroom and crying.

I got my robe off of the back of the door and tied it on. I looked in the mirror and washed off the faint black lines that were forming on my face. While I put my short hair in a ponytail I realized I hated myself so much for doing what I did. I (once again) fucked everything up.

Was I a natural at this? Something great happens and I fuck it up. I knew I couldn't stay with him knowing I had I'd what I did. I knew I was going to hurt him but it would hurt more if I had told him that.

"Jerry?" Casey asked knocking on the door.

"What?" I asked swallowing my tears and whipping my face on my sleeve.

"Are you ok?"

I sighed and cracked the door. "I'm fine, why?"

She looked back to see if anybody was behind her or in the hall. "We saw Jack walking down the hall and we called him but he ignored us."

"It's nothing." I said.

She arched an eyebrow and moved me out the way to come into the bathroom.

"What happened?" She asked again closing door.

"Nothing happened, Casey." I repeated.

"I know what you did."

"Casey, stay out of this." I said knowing she did know.

"Jerry, I can't. Well at least right now. Why didn't you stop?"

"I don't know. Please don't remind me of anything." I said feeling worst and getting ready to cry again.

"Shh." She said giving me a hug.

"I feel horrible. I'm hurting everybody, Casey." I cried on her shoulder.

"You aren't." She tried to reassure but it wouldn't be enough because I knew it was true.

I was becoming something I hated.

~¥~

The next day everybody had left and I had calmed down a little by cleaning every inch of my loft. I sat in the middle of my floor going through old papers and my phone went off.

"Hello?" I sighed.

"Hi, is this Jerry Collins?" A female voice asked.

"This is she..."

"This is Terry Harper from Aero Records."

Shit...

"Oh hi." I said remembering who she was. She had run the record company and had done my interview when I had gone to LA in January.

People go to New York for New Years while I leave for that reason.

"Hi again." She laughed. "I was just calling to welcome you to the Aero family. Congratulations you are our new A&R."

"Seriously?"

I was happy but then I wasn’t at the same time.

"Yes. And I know you live in New York and that's going to be a move for you. But I would like to know if it would be a problem for you to be here in two weeks maybe?"

"No it’s no problem." I said thinking and scratching my forehead. “Not a problem at all.”

"Ok, well I will see you then." She said.

"Ok, thank you."

"No problem, good bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and began to think of yesterday. As much as I was going to regret it but I had to.