Being in Love With You Has Driven Me Insane

Tonight we were going to listen to the guys' new album that was coming out tomorrow. According to Jack it wasn't their best but it was good. At the same time Alex, Zack and Rian said it was kick ass.

"How about we go out instead of staying here and listening to the album." Jack suggested while we were eating breakfast.

"I don't want to. Why do you want to go out anyway?"

"No reason. I'm just sick of hearing the same thing over and over." He shrugged.

"Then find something." I laughed.

"But I want to do something with you." He whined like a little girl.

I looked at him for a second trying to figure out what the problem was.

"What?"

"Why do I feel like there is a reason you are acting like this?" I asked skeptical.

He shrugged. "Is there a reason?" I asked again.

"Um... No, no reason." He shook his head obviously lying.

"Right."

~¥~

"Jerr can we please do something else." Jack groaned as we all sat down.

"No Jack, I want to listen." I said for the last time.

"All right ladies. We want you to be completely honest as to if this sucks or not. Just because you love us doesn't mean you enjoy our music." Alex said before pressing play.

"Just play it." Janice demanded.

He laughed and hit play.

~¥~

So far I had liked every song on there. I did not see why Jack didn't think it was that great.

"What’s the next song?" Casey asked.

"Holly Would You Turn Me On." Zack said texting somebody.

"I can guess what it's about." Janice said.

"Hey, Jack wrote it." Alex defended.

"Self explanatory I guess." He muttered looking down.

"What Jerry is Holly?" Casey laughed.

"Yeah." He said afraid of my reaction.

"Jack it's ok." I laughed kissing his cheek and laying on his shoulder.

Sure, I didn't like having a song written about our personal life but I guess it was ok. Hopefully nobody would ask.

~¥~

“Uh Jerr lets go outside for a sec.” Jack said trying to get me to leave the room.

“Why?” I asked as the next song came on. It was called Remembering Sunday.

“Just because.” He said a little jumpy.

“If it’s just because then no.” I laughed.

“It’s for something.” He said trying to be louder than the music.

“What?”

“Uh… I’m pregnant?” He said unsure.

I looked at him like he had lost his mind. “Jack you say dumb shit but that was the dumbest.” Rian laughed.

“Whatever, Jerry come on I just want to talk to you.” He said.

“After this song.” I groaned sick of him asking.

Even though she doesn't believe in love
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut

Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside

“I like this who wrote it?” Janice asked.

“Jack.” Zack said shoving a banana in his mouth.

The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be

I'm not coming back
(Forgive me)
I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak
(I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
(You're driving me crazy)
Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world
From so many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now
I'm at home in the clouds, towering over your head

I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home

The song faded and I glared at Jack who looked down knowing I would be pissed. Everybody caught our stares and got worried.

“Anyone want a banana?” Zack asked trying to break the tension.

“Hall now.” I said between my teeth to Jack.

We both got up and started to walk. He tried to grab my hand but I snatched it away from him and slammed the door as we went out side.

“I cannot believe you did that.” I started.

“Did what? Jerry nobody will know who and what I’m talking about.” He tried to reassure.

“That’s beside the point! Some people will know and you said you weren’t mad at me for what happened anymore do you know how that makes me feel to know that you’re still mad at me?”

“I guess not.” He said softly. “Care to explain.”

“I feel horrible Jack. I feel nothing but regret and all I do is think I fucked up too much, and you know I probably messed up my life without even knowing. And what’s worst is I still feel like you are blaming me and I can’t live with you being mad at me. It’s the same as you not wanting to make me cry.” I explained.

“Jerr I’m sorry.” He tried to take my hand again.

“No, I get it. Look maybe this was a mistake.” I shrugged.

“What?”

I stayed quiet. “What? Us? Jerry no-.”

“Jack, don’t.” I said closing my eyes trying to make everything easier.

“No please, I shouldn’t have done that I’m sorry.”

“No it’s fine. Let’s just be friends.” I said trying to smile.

Jack frowned and his eyes got sorry. “I don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry.” I shrugged.

Honestly he wasn’t making things easier. It just began to hurt more. “Wait just tell me why you can’t be with me.” He said trying to take my hand one more time.

I didn’t take my hand from him. I started to take the locket which also held the engagement ring he had given me off with my other hand. “I can’t be with somebody who is holding something against me Jack.” I put the locket in his other hand and made him hold onto it.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered as his hand dropped and his face got pale when I walked back inside.

“Jerry?” Casey asked as I headed towards my room, not mad or sad just half dead at what I had just done.

“Jerry.” Janice called one more time before I silently shut the door.

I stayed in my room the whole night while everybody tried to pry me out. I sat on the edge on the bed clenching the ends as only a few tears fell not having any affect on my position.

“Jerry do you know where Jack went?” Rian asked one time.

“Jerry what happened?” Casey asked after.

“Ah the chimp from Dear Maria is going to kill us!” Alex screamed after Casey,

“Jerry are you ok?” Zack and Janice asked.

I wasn’t ok. I was in pieces and I was still falling apart.

Love wasn’t supposed to do this to you. You were supposed to hold the person you loved, not leave them. You were supposed to let everything go, not hold it in. You’re supposed to smile not cry. It wasn’t supposed to eat you alive.

But then again…

Love always stunk.