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Being in Love With You Has Driven Me Insane
Chapter 6- Let Go
"Where are you going like that?" Janice asked referring to the fact that I was going out with Martin, whom I had not talked to her about.
"Out." I just said plainly.
"With?"
"A living person."
"Jerry, don't beat around the bullshit bush I'm not your mom or anything." She said.
I sighed. "I'm going on a date."
Janice's eyes widened. "What!"
"What are you freaking out for?" I asked not getting that.
"Because, Jerry, you have been going banana sandwich. First you miss one week and two days of class. Then you sit a mope around the house eating ice cream or yogurt and watching depressing movies. And suddenly you are over Jack."
Currently, I really wasn't over him. I wanted to be so bad but something wouldn't let me.
"Janice, I've spent years hung up over him. I need to let him go."
"No you don't. You love him and you know that." She pointed.
"Janice, we're done. It's over." I said feeling a little hurt. "It's ok." I said trying to force a smile on my face.
Janice frowned. "I'll be back at 11 maybe so you don't have to wait up or anything." I said getting ready to leave.
"Ok." She sighed.
~¥~
I saw Martin waiting by the wall of the movies.
"Hey." He smiled when he saw me.
"Hey." I smiled back. "So where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see. Come on." He smiled a little more taking my hand. "You don't mind
do you?" He asked to be sure.
"No. Not at all." I shook my head.
"Come on." He said as we started to walk.
Things seemed to perfect when I was around Martin. It wasn't scary or anything it was amazing. And sometimes I didn't even know who Jack was because he was making me forget it all.
After 20 minutes of walking we walked to this building that looked abandoned but wasn't.
"We're going around back." He pointed out.
We went into the alley and he got keys and unlocked a door.
"After you." He said holding the door.
"What are we doing?" I asked as he walked in and closed the door then cutting the lights on.
There were tables all with the chairs up and an empty bar. One table in the center had a white table cloth and the whole dinner setting.
"Answers your question?" He asked.
"Barley." I smirked as he pulled out my chair.
"Stay right there." He said going into the back.
A minute later he came holding two plates with covers on them.
"Before you say anything, I do remember you told me how much you hated dinners like these so..."
He tool the cover off and showed two take out boxes.
"But I love Chinese food." I laughed also remembering the last conversation we had.
"Fried rice and orange chicken?"
"Perfect." I smiled.
~¥~
"Oh. Well I have a kinda sorta sister I guess." I said as we started talk about friends and family.
"Kinda sorta?" He asked putting food in his mouth.
"We've been best friends since pre k. And when my parents died her family adopted me." I said.
"Oh I see." He nodded.
"You know. I get this vibe off of you." I admitted to him.
"Really? Is it a good one or bad one?" He asked.
"It good. It's the whole sweet, innocent, non dick head scruffy looking guy vibe." I explained.
"Scruffy. Hmm I like that." He smiled.
I laughed a little. "I get a vibe off of you too." He pointed.
"Good or bad?" I asked putting chicken in my mouth.
"Depends on how you take it." He shrugged.
"What is it then?"
"The kind, caring, funny, what every guy wants but inside there's something bothering you." He said.
"That's good. But why the last one?" I asked.
"This sounds cheesy and shit but I can tell from your eyes. They light up but if you look closer they look sad. Like when we met and you said you had to go."
I looked down knowing he was right. In a way I was over Jack but then I wasn't.
"My ex wasn't just an ex."
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to Jerry." He reassured.
"It's fine but we were supposed to get married." I said. "But like I said we couldn't let things go so I broke it off. So your analysis was right." I half smiled trying to lighten things up.
"I feel like an ass right now." He said.
"Why?"
"I want to say something but I don't know what to say."
I leaned over the table and kissed his cheek.
"Don't say anything."
~¥~
I walked into the loft still happy. I think I was starting to like Martin. He was sweet, funny and best of all honest.
"Why are you still up?" I asked Janice who was on her laptop.
"She's here." Janice said to her laptop then tuning it around.
"Have you fucking lost your mind?! Come get him!" Casey said.
I rolled my eyes. "Not you too." I groaned plopping into the couch.
"Yes me too. Both of you are being stupid. You both still love each other but you two are being stubborn idiots."
"Case!" Rian called in the background.
"Rian come here. I'm going to prove this to you now." She said as Rian walked
in.
"Yeah?" He asked knowing we were talking.
"Can you please explain to Jerry how stupid her and Jack are being? Actually scratch that, How many girls has Jack been out with in two weeks?"
"Two."
Casey gave him a tell the truth look. "Four."
"If he wants to be a whore, let him." I shrugged.
"Jerr, he misses you." Rian said.
"If he doesn't go to girl number five. I'll admit defeat." I said sarcastically knowing he would.
Getting somebody would be easier than it was in High School because he's famous now.
"Rian go." Casey demanded as he left. "Jerr what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. And besides everything is my fault and I'll fix it if I want.
But right now I don't want to. And honestly I don't know if I ever do want to, so drop it."
Most of the reason I didn't want to fix anything was because I was starting to like Martin and if I suddenly said I was crawling back to Jack I would feel horrible.
"I'm not dropping it yet. Only because I know there is more to the story and you aren't telling me." Casey said.
"We were engaged ok? There I said it. When I broke up with him I broke off the engagement." I said for the second time tonight.
"What? Jer-."
"Let it go." I demanded for the last time.
"So that's it? You don't care anymore?" Janice asked trying to get clarification of what I just said.
I sighed. "No I don't."
Time to let go.
"Out." I just said plainly.
"With?"
"A living person."
"Jerry, don't beat around the bullshit bush I'm not your mom or anything." She said.
I sighed. "I'm going on a date."
Janice's eyes widened. "What!"
"What are you freaking out for?" I asked not getting that.
"Because, Jerry, you have been going banana sandwich. First you miss one week and two days of class. Then you sit a mope around the house eating ice cream or yogurt and watching depressing movies. And suddenly you are over Jack."
Currently, I really wasn't over him. I wanted to be so bad but something wouldn't let me.
"Janice, I've spent years hung up over him. I need to let him go."
"No you don't. You love him and you know that." She pointed.
"Janice, we're done. It's over." I said feeling a little hurt. "It's ok." I said trying to force a smile on my face.
Janice frowned. "I'll be back at 11 maybe so you don't have to wait up or anything." I said getting ready to leave.
"Ok." She sighed.
~¥~
I saw Martin waiting by the wall of the movies.
"Hey." He smiled when he saw me.
"Hey." I smiled back. "So where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see. Come on." He smiled a little more taking my hand. "You don't mind
do you?" He asked to be sure.
"No. Not at all." I shook my head.
"Come on." He said as we started to walk.
Things seemed to perfect when I was around Martin. It wasn't scary or anything it was amazing. And sometimes I didn't even know who Jack was because he was making me forget it all.
After 20 minutes of walking we walked to this building that looked abandoned but wasn't.
"We're going around back." He pointed out.
We went into the alley and he got keys and unlocked a door.
"After you." He said holding the door.
"What are we doing?" I asked as he walked in and closed the door then cutting the lights on.
There were tables all with the chairs up and an empty bar. One table in the center had a white table cloth and the whole dinner setting.
"Answers your question?" He asked.
"Barley." I smirked as he pulled out my chair.
"Stay right there." He said going into the back.
A minute later he came holding two plates with covers on them.
"Before you say anything, I do remember you told me how much you hated dinners like these so..."
He tool the cover off and showed two take out boxes.
"But I love Chinese food." I laughed also remembering the last conversation we had.
"Fried rice and orange chicken?"
"Perfect." I smiled.
~¥~
"Oh. Well I have a kinda sorta sister I guess." I said as we started talk about friends and family.
"Kinda sorta?" He asked putting food in his mouth.
"We've been best friends since pre k. And when my parents died her family adopted me." I said.
"Oh I see." He nodded.
"You know. I get this vibe off of you." I admitted to him.
"Really? Is it a good one or bad one?" He asked.
"It good. It's the whole sweet, innocent, non dick head scruffy looking guy vibe." I explained.
"Scruffy. Hmm I like that." He smiled.
I laughed a little. "I get a vibe off of you too." He pointed.
"Good or bad?" I asked putting chicken in my mouth.
"Depends on how you take it." He shrugged.
"What is it then?"
"The kind, caring, funny, what every guy wants but inside there's something bothering you." He said.
"That's good. But why the last one?" I asked.
"This sounds cheesy and shit but I can tell from your eyes. They light up but if you look closer they look sad. Like when we met and you said you had to go."
I looked down knowing he was right. In a way I was over Jack but then I wasn't.
"My ex wasn't just an ex."
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to Jerry." He reassured.
"It's fine but we were supposed to get married." I said. "But like I said we couldn't let things go so I broke it off. So your analysis was right." I half smiled trying to lighten things up.
"I feel like an ass right now." He said.
"Why?"
"I want to say something but I don't know what to say."
I leaned over the table and kissed his cheek.
"Don't say anything."
~¥~
I walked into the loft still happy. I think I was starting to like Martin. He was sweet, funny and best of all honest.
"Why are you still up?" I asked Janice who was on her laptop.
"She's here." Janice said to her laptop then tuning it around.
"Have you fucking lost your mind?! Come get him!" Casey said.
I rolled my eyes. "Not you too." I groaned plopping into the couch.
"Yes me too. Both of you are being stupid. You both still love each other but you two are being stubborn idiots."
"Case!" Rian called in the background.
"Rian come here. I'm going to prove this to you now." She said as Rian walked
in.
"Yeah?" He asked knowing we were talking.
"Can you please explain to Jerry how stupid her and Jack are being? Actually scratch that, How many girls has Jack been out with in two weeks?"
"Two."
Casey gave him a tell the truth look. "Four."
"If he wants to be a whore, let him." I shrugged.
"Jerr, he misses you." Rian said.
"If he doesn't go to girl number five. I'll admit defeat." I said sarcastically knowing he would.
Getting somebody would be easier than it was in High School because he's famous now.
"Rian go." Casey demanded as he left. "Jerr what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. And besides everything is my fault and I'll fix it if I want.
But right now I don't want to. And honestly I don't know if I ever do want to, so drop it."
Most of the reason I didn't want to fix anything was because I was starting to like Martin and if I suddenly said I was crawling back to Jack I would feel horrible.
"I'm not dropping it yet. Only because I know there is more to the story and you aren't telling me." Casey said.
"We were engaged ok? There I said it. When I broke up with him I broke off the engagement." I said for the second time tonight.
"What? Jer-."
"Let it go." I demanded for the last time.
"So that's it? You don't care anymore?" Janice asked trying to get clarification of what I just said.
I sighed. "No I don't."
Time to let go.