September

“Brendan! Where are we going?” I asked, breathlessly running after him.

It was late on an April evening, an April evening just happened to be my birthday. I was wearing a loose, flowy white dress and a cardigan as I ran through the grass behind my boyfriend.

There was a light fog near the grass and a warm breeze ruffled the trees. We were obviously in a rush, where to I was unsure. It seemed like we were headed to the park that was next to my house.

We had just gotten home from a dinner out with my mom and grandma. I’d opened my presents and found an iPhone from my mother and CD’s from my grandma. Brendan smiled mischievously and promised my gift later on.

“Okay, sit here,” he said, letting go of my hand and dropping on a bench. I complied and sat next to him. He handed me a small box. It was plain and white, not wrapped, and somewhat heavy. I looked at him skeptically and he nodded.

I removed the lid and was confused. I pulled a key out of the box and swung it around my finger. If he bought me a car, that would be more than a little weird. I looked at it closer though and realized it wasn’t exactly a car key.

“Bren, what is this?” I asked.

“It’s a key Reagan. It opens the door to an apartment in Chicago. I put the first down payment on it already and I got it. I’m hoping that you’ll move into it with me when this semester is over.”

I didn’t know what to say. He was presenting me with a place to live. My heart pumped with adrenaline and my limbs went cold. This was such a massive decision. I bit my lip and looked up at him.

“I really don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes Rae. I want to live with you and come home to you after work. You’re my girlfriend and I, well, I love you.”

Eight months into the relationship and this was the first time those words had been thrown around. It all felt surreal. I was celebrating my 19th birthday with my boyfriend, getting told he loved me and having him ask me to move to Illinois with him.

Then my brain shot into motion.

“I love you too Bren,” I said. He smiled sweetly and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I leaned in and kissed him gently. I knew he wanted an answer and I knew he would be going—with or without me.

It seemed to me, then, like I had only one choice.

Brendan had become my rock. I wasn’t completely dependent on him because he had taught me to be dependent on myself. He helped me with my issues and I helped him with his. We were inseparable in every sense of the word.

“Yes. Yes, I will move to Chicago with you,” I said. His grin was from ear to ear. It occurred to me that he must have been so nervous that I would say no. It would have killed him as much as it would have killed me.

He pulled me into him and held me tightly to his chest. I was excited all of a sudden, to go home and pack up all of my things. I was excited to buy new furniture and find a new job and decorate our bedroom.

“I love you so much,” I said, kissing his cheek and holding him tightly.

“I love you a million times more.”

I didn’t question it.