September

“I think that we’re lost,” I said for the fiftieth time in the past hour. Finally, Andrew, who was driving, agreed with me. “Yeah, we’re definitely lost.”

Cora was supposed to be driving but she almost killed us all. Since we didn’t want to die, we didn’t let her drive anymore. Andrew agreed to take over for her and at that moment we became lost in Oklahoma.

Currently, we were driving through a mountainous terrain with forests on both sides of us. The road was completely deserted except for our car. The music had been turned off only a little while ago. I sat staring out the window, my fingers twisted in Brendan’s hair.

A half hour ago he decided that he wanted to lie down. I volunteered, somewhat reluctantly, my lap as a head rest. In the quiet lull that had now fallen over us, it was soothing, playing with his soft golden hair. I glanced down at him and saw his eyes shut lightly with a small smile on his face. My heart jumped and I begged it to be quiet.

This internal conflict had to end.

“Wait, what was that?” Cora said suddenly. Andrew stopped the car and put it in reverse. “This is illegal, you do know that,” I said blankly. “Stop being such a party pooper Rae,” Brendan said. I jumped slightly and pulled my fingers from his hair. He looked up at me with wide eyes and pouted, pulling at my hand.

“Perkins Memorial Drive. Ooh, it’s like a nature mountain thing. Let’s go up!” Cora said. I sighed but agreed with her, letting my hand fall back to methodically stroking Brendan’s hair. Andrew started up the steep road. I honestly wouldn’t have trusted anyone but him to drive us up this thing. Cora would’ve driven off the side and killed us all.

“Reagan,” Brendan whined when I pulled my hand away yet again. I glanced down at him and his pout. “I don’t really know what you want from me,” I stated. He sat up in response, his thin body straightening and then hunching.

“Is that a river over there?” I asked, pointing out my window. “Looks like it,” Andrew agreed. We were quiet again, staring into the trees. I felt like I was slipping into a mood and shook my head, as if that would rid me of these bad vibes. I tried not to think and stared blankly out the window.

“I think we’re almost to the top,” Andrew announced after a few minutes of steady climbing. I fidgeted a little bit, eager to be out of the car. I looked at Brendan who was shifting about uncomfortably. Cora tapped her fingers eagerly against her bare thigh.

Finally we emerged at the top. The tires peeled against loose gravel as Andrew pulled into a spot. The forest was gone. In its stead were mountains—beautiful, lone mountains. I got out of the car and gasped at the intense heat of Oklahoma. I slammed the door shut and stepped away from the car, pulling my dress down a little bit.

There were mountains on the three sides of us I could see. Behind us was a small stone cottage, and beyond that the trees of the forest we had just emerged from. To my left was the river I had spotted earlier, tucked between two immense mounds of rock. In front and to the right of me were massive hills and medium sized mountains, varying in size and shape until they disappeared on the horizon.

“It’s beautiful,” Cora said, her words rushed. A sense of regality came over me. I was glad that I was able to see this. No one would ever believe that four teenagers would be this speechless. The sight was probably one of the most breathtaking things I had ever seen.

Cora and Andrew were both inquisitive in nature, and moved closer to the unguarded edge. Brendan and I chose to stay back and look from a safe distance. While Cora and Andrew bounded around, looking from every angle, I stood in a silent meditation. It seemed like only moments had passed when in reality it had probably been half an hour.

I looked up as an older man in a UPS-like uniform walked towards us. A bright grin covered his face. I glanced at Brendan who was still staring, awe-struck, at the surrounding visual.

“Hey kids. How’re you?” he asked brightly. His lined face showed just how many years he deserved to call us kids—little ones if he wanted to—and the crinkles in his eyes showed how happy those years had been. I smiled.

“We’re good, a little bit lost but definitely good.” He chuckled. Cora and Andrew wandered back over in interest and I was acutely aware of Brendan hovering near my right shoulder. The man took all of us in, his eyes lingering on Cora’s bright red hair.

“Well, this is Perkins Memorial Drive. The founder, Dora Perkins, found this spot while hiking one day and fell in love with the breathtaking view. She came back almost every weekend that her youth permitted. She spent the next 25 years of her life working to save enough money to show everyone else how beautiful this place is.

“When the park was finished she was 42. She came up a few weeks after it was complete and stood, in that spot over there, for many hours. A man came and stood with her, silently, for the remainder of the day. They say it was love at first sight and got married months later. After a long, happy life together they died of natural causes on the same night.

“It is said that the mountains contain very old magic. So old that it was undisturbed until Dora came up and found it; the very same magic that caused her to work so feverishly toward her goal of publicizing this place. The magic was fortified by her and her husbands love. They say that it’s bad luck to leave the top without a kiss.”

He winked and ambled away toward the stone cottage. All the good feelings from the story were gone. My heart returned to its original, cool state. I would, of course, be leaving with bad luck. Cora and Andrew grinned at each other and leaned in for what looked like the start of a tender, loving kiss. I turned away, pain and hurt coloring my features. I had no one.

Two long fingers appeared under my chin, pulling my face up to meet Brendan’s. He smiled down at me and moved his hand from my chin to cup my face. Automatically I felt my cheeks heat up from the attention and my breath caught in my throat. I stared up at him in complete wonder and disbelieving.

His gaze was intense as his eyes scanned over my face. Butterflies rose in my stomach, making me feel like I was gonna puke and tingles ran up my spine. His thumb rubbed gentle circles into my cheek. I leaned into his hand slightly and shut my eyes, feeling my eyelashes flutter into his hand.

“Reagan,” he murmured softly, sending electric thrills through me. There went my heart; it dropped, flew, pounded, and stopped. I bit my lips and fluttered my eyes in excitement.

“Bren,” I whined quietly, dragging the sound out. His right hand gripped my waist and pulled me into him. I let my hands wander up his chest slowly and rest on his shoulders. His eyes burned into mine with an intense feeling that I couldn’t identify.

He leaned down, eyes shut, towards me. My heart went into overdrive and my lips tingled with an invisible magnetic force. If this was how it always was I understood why Cora and Andrew carried on.

After what felt like lifetimes, our lips met. The kiss, my first kiss, was unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was soft and sweet, with an underlying bond of closeness. He added a little bit of pressure as I leaned into him, my knees feeling weak. Here I was, standing on a mountain, kissing Brendan Mills.

It was over far too quickly. I gazed up at him through my eyelashes, my lips spread a little in amazement. Butterflies still coursed through my veins nurtured by a strange, new sensation beating in my heart. He let a small smile grace his lips, the ones my lips had just been covering. I reciprocated with an even smaller one.

“Now you won’t have bad luck,” he whispered. I nodded, not trusting my voice. “And I got to do something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time,” he added, leaning down to kiss my nose and stepping away.

I raised my hand to my lips and looked over at Cora who was staring at me in disbelief. Andrew was all smiles as he strode over to ask the ranger directions. I licked my lips nervously and realized they still tasted of the pineapple I had just tasted on Brendan’s lips. I walked slowly and cautiously toward the edge of the mountain I was standing upon.

Looking out at the glittering river, I couldn’t help but wonder; if the kiss was as meaningless as I wanted it to be, why was my heart beating like this?

*

Now dressed in jeans, Converse, and a t-shirt, Cora and I walked back toward the motel clutching coffee. We had spent the whole time talking about how Brendan and I kissed. I never, ever thought that I would ever gush about something but I did. I just let loose the torrent of my minds thoughts and feelings. I was flying.

“It was adorable! I’m telling you the truth. I almost curled up and died,” she exclaimed laughing. “You almost died?” I questioned, screaming, “I almost died. I almost died seventeen times actually.” I took a sip of my coffee and bounced down the sidewalk.

“Don’t let us do it again.” As excited as I was, the nagging thought was still in the back of my head. You’re going to get hurt, it whispered, You’re going to get crushed.

“Girl, you know we both couldn’t stop it if we wanted to.” I glared at her and then laughed. “I know but I don’t want to get hurt.” She rolled her eyes. “You won’t. He obviously cares about you,” she said. I shrugged. I was so happy that I was ready to sing in the rain and follow a rainbow to its end.

“It was really pretty up there though,” I said. Cora launched into just how beautiful it was and how she could have spent ages and ages there. She threw herself into the topic of the story and how amazing Dora Perkins must have been. I agreed with her, conversing throughout the whole thing but still steering us in the correct direction. The four floor walk up motel came into view soon enough.

We knocked on the door as Cora chattered my ear off at how badly she needed her hair to be re-dyed. “It’s open!” I heard someone yell from inside. I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open. “You could’ve been killed,” I announced. Andrew was lying on one of the beds, watching TV and Brendan sat stretched on the loveseat.

“You’re overdramatic,” Andrew stated bluntly, “How was coffee babe?” Cora tossed herself on the bed next to him. “Mmm, it was good.” I scoffed and shut the door, locking it this time. I slipped off my shoes and threw my bag on the floor. In the dark corner I stood in I changed into shorts and a loose t-shirt for pajamas. I rummaged around a bit and grabbed my book.

It was dark in the room, and the curtains were shut. The only light was emanating from the TV. A medical show with blood and gore splashed across it. I had to sit with Brendan to get the light needed to be able to read my book. I shouldn’t be nervous about this. I had been communicating with him this whole trip. Now, it was awkward.

“Bren, scooch over so I can sit by the light,” I said evenly, showing my book as evidence of why I need the lamp. He grinned up at me. “You could say please,” he chastised, remaining where he was. I placed a hand on my hip. “I could,” I said thoughtfully. Instead of asking nicely, I sat on him.

Instead of laughing or pushing me off playfully, like I expected, he wrapped his arms around my waist. Andrew raised an eyebrow and I pouted.
“You were supposed to shriek in pain at my fatness and therefore, move. Not invite me to stay here,” I corrected.

“You’re not fat so I am not in pain and I never shriek, so you can stay right here,” he answered stubbornly. I rolled my eyes and turned on the lamp, opening my book to where the mark was. I was uncomfortable, and felt like everyone was watching me, anticipating my every move. Mostly because they were.

I sank into a comfortable position on Brendan and let his arms remain wrapped around me. I started to read and soon left the hotel room I was in, only to be placed in a mythical land in the middle of an epic battle. By the time my eyes were drooping from sleep deprivation, late night shows were flashing across the screen. I shut the book and slapped Brendan’s hands.

I stood and stretched, yawning. “I’m gonna sleep now you guys,” I announced, rubbing my eyes. I made my way over to the bed and moved back the blankets, lying in the now familiar crisp sheets of a motel. I settled into the mattress and listened to Jay Leno make some type of joke. Cora laughed.

I was in a daze, half awake and half asleep when I felt someone else come into bed with me. “Do you mind if I sleep here tonight?” he asked, “Cora and Andrew fell asleep.” I looked at Brendan with sleepy eyes. I was confused.

“Stay on your side of the bed. We’ve done enough shit today,” I mumbled. He only laughed. “That’s my girl.”

I liked it when he said that but it was definitely just the sleep talking.