I'm a Walking Travesty

I felt nothing more as soon as I blacked out. The next thing I remembered was faintly seeing Zack hovering over me telling me to hold on. I didn't know what to tell him and I clearly didn't have the strength to think of anything because soon after I blinked, I was out again.

It felt like only a few seconds passed before my eyes opened up again and when they did, everything was so bright that I had to shut then again but the only difference is that this time, I didn't fall into another deep sleep. Instead, a wave of pain and nausea rushed through my body system.

I opened my eyes again and looked for something to puke in but there was another problem; my legs wouldn't move from the bed. I was practically stuck there feeling all nauseated when suddenly a nurse came in. I grabbed the basin she was holding -- weird coincidence, much? -- and spilled all the bile that was continually climbing up my esophagus.

The nurse wasn't pleased with what I did and so she grabbed the basin from me and gave me a bottle of water and then walked out muttering words I couldn't really hear.

After feeling fully relieved, I tried desperately to move my feet but somehow, I just couldn't. Was I paralyzed? I was about to call for a doctor when suddenly, someone knocked on the glass door that was separating me from the rest of the patients in this hospital.

To my surprise, it wasn't a doctor or a nurse. It was Zack. He rushed to my side and asked me how I was. But I wasn't really in the mood to answer questions right now.

"Why did you do it?" I asked him.

He looked sorta stunned as if he was confused or something. "I didn't push you, Mia," he said.

"I don't mean that, Zack. I remember what happened. What I want to know is why you tried to beat the shit out of Ryan when you knew for a fact that you'd be able to do that in a split second," I was getting angrier with every second and my head was heating up. It was as if I was this thermometer was ready to break due to the extreme heat that was placed on me.

"Mia, I already told you that he was bad news. What more don't you understand?" he retorted.

"Are you sure you want to ask me that, right now?" I asked sarcastically but all he did was stare deeply into my eyes.

He waited for some kind of answer which in my opinion was hard to elaborate because honestly, there were dozens of things that I really couldn't comprehend but he couldn't really care less since he wasn't willing to understand either. So, instead if actually thinking of something to counter him, I just apologized. I know it's sorta lame of me to do so but I really did not like fighting with him no matter what the cost. Besides, if I remember correctly, before everything happened, I was planning to talk to Ryan about the whole situation and how I thought it was a big mistake. So I guess you can kinda say that fate was getting a head start here but either way, what Zack did was still wrong no matter how much he fabricates it.

“Where is Ryan anyway?” I asked him and he rolled his eyes.

“Why are you still asking about him?” he asked angrily. I guess I wasn’t the only one heated up.

“Why is it such a problem to you?” I countered. “I mean can’t I ask about him?”

“When you’re talking to me, no,” he said.

“What is wrong with you? What kind of grudge are you really holding here?” I asked but as soon as I finished asking, my head started spinning.

“You wanna know why I’m so mad at him? Do you really want to know?” he asked aggressively.

“Well, I think I already do but-”

“What do you mean?” he asked inquisitively and suddenly I felt uneasy being under this spotlight.

“Well, Peter told me about how he sorta stole your girl at this party he threw,” I said in a low voice hoping that this wouldn’t make him burst into flames.

“Do you know how many times that happened?” he asked in a harsh tone.

“You mean it happened more than once?” I asked surprised as to how much of a jerk Ryan really was. But was I right to judge him because of what Zack and Peter told me? Didn’t Peter say that he was different when he was with me?

“Do I have to answer that?” I was getting annoyed with his tone and how he was replying to me and I swear if I wasn’t hooked on to an IV in a hospital, I would’ve stormed out ten minutes ago.

“Zack, can you please just give me a straight answer for once? I mean I know you’re angry but can you please not pour it out on me right now because I’m really not in the mood to deal with this attitude you’re putting on,” I told him frankly and he drew back a little but regained composure almost immediately.

“Sorry, it’s just that…” he said hesitantly.

“Just what?” I asked.

“He didn’t really try to apologize or do anything once he saw you on the floor with your head bleeding. He just cowered away like a kid who did something wrong but didn’t want anyone to know or find out about it,” he explained. “He didn’t call for an ambulance or help me bring you here. He just ran away like a fool,”

I couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth or if he was making Ryan look bad. I mean I know I should really trust Zack but that hardly sounded like something Ryan would do. Could it be that he was exaggerating a little?

I pushed past the topic and told him I didn’t want to talk about that anymore. I had to see it to believe it right so if I didn’t really see it, I was supposed to hear both sides of the story so it would be fair. But I can’t really trust Ryan now, can I? I mean I hardly know the guy.

Zack had to leave after a few hours of apologizing to each other and talking about other things. He told me that he had to meet with his band and that he’d introduce me to them as soon as I get checked out which was later today. The doctors had a few more tests to run and they told me that after, I could pack up and go home if they don’t find something else that needs fixing in me.

I was about to fall asleep after watching TV when suddenly the sliding doors opened a bit. It was Ryan this time and there was a bouquet of flowers in his arms. But for some reason, I wasn’t amused or pleased.

“What are you doing here?” I asked with authority and his smile slowly dropped into a straight face.

“Look before you blame me for-”

“I thought you didn’t care. You just ran away like nothing bad happened to me. You just left me there helpless and ready to die. If Zack wasn’t there, maybe I wouldn’t even be alive anymore,” I said furiously.

“Did you hit your head too hard? Where the hell did you get that information?” he asked with the most clueless face in the world. It almost looked innocent.

“Zack told me what happened after you pushed me,” I told him.

He sighed and placed the bouquet in a vase that he filled with water. “Mia, I’m not the kind of person who’d run away from something I did especially when it’s in the midst of life and death. Zack might have twisted the story a few times so here’s what really happened,” he started, “When I accidentally pushed you too hard to the side to keep you safe, I looked to the side and put my jaw out in the open. That’s when Zack connected his fist to my face and knocked me out. I don’t know how long I was unconscious on the ground but when I woke up, you were gone and so was he. I rushed to the hospital you were in as soon as I got the information and waited in the ward while you were in the emergency room. I stayed until morning and told the nurse to tell you that if you were awake that I would be out for coffee and on the way, I passed by a flower shop – I didn’t think it’d take that long to pick flowers but at least I got some – and then I came back here.”

I was stunned and confused. I really didn’t know who to believe anymore. I’m practically looking at two roads in an intersection without knowing which way to go. Why does life have to be so hard? I mean why can’t everyone just get along for once? Would it hurt to tell the truth and not twist it?

“I’m sorry Ryan,” I told him.

“It’s okay-”

“No, I mean I’m sorry about agreeing to be your girlfriend. I meant to talk to you before everything happened but I couldn’t,” I said looking out the window afraid to see what kind of expression he might be showing.

“You’re breaking up with me because of this?” he seemed sorta ticked but it was normal I guess seeing that everything was so complicated and I wasn’t trying to get through it.

“No, I’m saying that agreeing to be your girlfriend was a mistake because I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready for anything practically and I rushed myself into thinking that I could move on by being with you and I know it’s wrong and I probably never should’ve agreed to our deal and-” I rambled on and on repeating the same things until he shushed me.

“Yeah, well I’m sorry too,” he said as he got up and left.

Well isn’t that what I sorta wanted? I guess it was but it didn’t really happen the right way. I can’t please everyone so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how this turns out.