Deserving Selflessness

Shaun got excited over very miniscule things. If there was a four leaf clover on the grass, he'd find it, and he'd go on and on about finding it for hours. If there was a rainbow he'd stare up at it until he couldn't see it anymore. He never really knew where he got his childlike personality from; both of his parents were really mellow and really down to earth. Stevie thought it was because Shaun was an only child and had only himself to play with when he was little. He never really stopped acting like a little kid and he never stopped trying to entertain himself- or others.

Stevie learned how to play all kinds of games because of Shaun. Board games, card games, real games and even made up games. Stevie always loved that aspect about his boyfriend of almost two years.

Stevie had been hearing for weeks how amazing their anniversary was going to be from Shaun. Shaun kind of knew that they'd be together for a while, because Shaun and Stevie were made for each other. They both understood each other and both loved each other no matter what. They had lots of times where they bickered but they never fought seriously all that much.

"Stevie you know we're gonna have so much fun on our two year. Like- so much fun you don't even know. I don't know what you have planned but what I got? Ohh man you're gonna love it." Shaun said with a huge grin spread across his face.

Stevie smiled at his boyfriend. "I bet you're right, babe. I can't believe it's been two years almost already. This has been the best time of my life, and I have you to thank." Stevie kissed Shaun soft on his mouth and the two rested their heads together.

"Feels like it's been longer. I mean, I feel like we were soul mates in a past life or something. I always felt a connection with you." he sighed happily. "Hey remember when I was going out with Oliver Gonnoly and you punched him in the face because he cheated on me? I knew you liked me then. I knew but I didn't say anything." Shaun confessed, looking up at Stevie with his dark brown orbs.

Stevie was shocked at this statement. Stevie liked Shaun for a long time before he was sure Shaun felt the same way. He had cared for Shaun; he was his best friend, he didn't deserve what Oliver did to him. He hurt Oliver for hurting Shaun, and he didn't regret it either.

"I knew you must have cared for me a lot," he continued, starting to fuss around with the hem of his shirt. "...and I was sorta blind before that, but then I knew. But I didn't want you to think I wanted to be with you because at that time I thought maybe it was too late and you liked someone else. So I kept my mouth shut. But look what happened, Stevie, we're together anyway. So we must have done something right."

Stevie never got tired of Shaun beaming at him. He made his heart flutter with everything he ever did or said.

"No, babe, not just something, we did everything right. And I'm so glad."

They began to kiss, and kiss some more, and then Stevie took off Shaun's shirt and it went from there. The boys loved being intimate with one another, they made love for a reason- not just because they were alone or family members were asleep; none of that.

They made love for no reason sometimes too, but that was in the first months of their relationship. Shaun had this period of time where all he wanted to do was have Stevie make love to him, but Stevie had to end that sex 24/7 thing before it ruined the bond that they had. Shaun may have acted like a 6 year old but his libido was definitely in check with his age.

"Stevie..." he moaned, closing his eyes and biting his lip. He was not in a comfortable position at all, but that didn't really matter much because he was in complete bliss at that moment. "Love you," he whispered softly before he came, just as he always did; Stevie following shortly after.

They lied in Stevie's bed for a while before they cleaned up and got dressed. They shouldn't have bothered to get changed back into their clothes because Shaun was sleeping over; they could have just got into their PJ's and relaxed.

"I kinda feel like an ice pop. I saw some in your freezer when I was getting ice cubes for my soda. You wanna have one with me?"

Stevie shook his head and laughed whole-heartedly at his boyfriend. He noticed that most of the time Shaun ate after they had sex. It wasn't a problem, it was just sort of odd. "No thanks, Shaun, but I'll come down with you to get it."

Stevie had a loss of appetite for a while, he remembered being able to eat almost as much as his boyfriend, but lately he had no desire. Because of this he had lost a little bit of weight, but that was fine with him. He was starting to get jealous of Shaun's amazingly fast metabolism.

Shaun picked out a green one; he didn't really like the flavor that it was, he just really liked the color green. He thought it was going to be green apple but it wasn't. Lime ice pops should have never been invented.

"Oh. My. Gosh, I'M MISSING SPONGEBOB!" he threw his ice pop wrapper in the garbage. "Stevie! Stevie, I never miss Spongebob I need to watch it," he hurried towards the TV and pushed the buttons until channel 33 came on even though he could have easily used the remote.

"Relax, babe, we can watch Spongebob in my room it's not a big deal. I know how much you love it. You know when my cousin Frank was little and my Aunt Debbie was pregnant with Angela Frank wanted to name the baby Spongebob. He settled on Angela though- thank goodness."

Shaun laughed hysterically, knowing fully well that if he ever had a child he would have no problem naming it Spongebob, it would totally be SB for short.

"Frank is my hero."

Stevie fell asleep before midnight but Shaun didn't mind, he played with his boyfriends' hair until he fell asleep himself.

~

As 3 o' clock in the morning rolled around Jack got out of bed. He looked towards his lover and sneaked his way into their bathroom. Tears welled up in his eyes as he started to vomit- something that had been going on for such a long time. He'd never let Micah know it though, because then it would keep him up too, and he had work in the morning.

He always tried to vomit as quietly as he could, even though it was extremely hard to do so. He hated that his body was betraying him every day. He fought so hard with each day that passed. He prayed all the time, asking Jesus to make it so that the chemo would work. Not because he was scared to die- it wasn't that. He wanted to get better so Micah wouldn't be alone. He knew that if he died it would break Micah, and he couldn't let him down.

He crept back into bed after brushing his teeth and put his boyfriends' arms back around him. He tried his best to sleep again until he actually had to wake up.

Micah often had nightmares about Jack dying, and that's why he always held him close at night. He couldn't be gone if he was right there in his arms. Sometimes during the night Jack would naturally slip away and that is what probably triggered Micah's bad dreams.

"Jack I'm leaving, sweetie. You don't have to get up. I made you some pancakes, they're in the microwave for when you're ready," he kissed Jack's nose and then his forehead. "Jack, you're burning up, are you all right?" he asked, putting his briefcase down and feeling Jack's head.

"I'm fine, Micah. I um, just don't take the blanket off cause I'm cold. But I'm always cold. Don't worry just go to work. If I really feel bad I'll go to Dr. Hennin..."

Micah sat down on their bed. "No, you won't. You'll call me and we'll go to Dr. Jensen. I thought we talked about this, Jack. You have to go to your specialist not your regular doctor, she can help you better, okay?"

Jack had several doctors, but for some reason his regular doctor always came to mind when he needed medical attention. Maybe because Dr. Hennin was his doctor since he was a child. He liked Dr. Hennin better because he never had to give him bad news.

"Okay, I'll call if I need you but I'm sure I'll be fine. Thank you, Micah." he leaned up to kiss his lover goodbye.

Micah wasn't 100% positive that Jack was telling the truth, but he knew that he hated when Micah babied him and took him to doctors when he really didn't need to go. So Micah let this one go and left for work.

"Hiya mate." The only time Micah hid his Australian accent is when he was in the actual court room. He feared that the judge or jury wouldn't take him seriously if he had the whole 'throw the shrimp on the barbie' thing going on.

The only person he was open with, with everything going on with Jack was his boss. His boss was the only one who needed to know, because he sometimes needed to leave in the middle of the day if something was going wrong with Jack, or if he needed him for something. Micah didn't want his co workers to feel bad for him or treat him differently because of his situation.

He did wait to tell them he was gay; he wanted them to decide if they liked him, personality wise first- then he told them. And almost all of them were cool with it.

"Hey, man. We've got a lot of shit going on today. Lots of rapes, it's disgusting. Like September is a good month for rapists to come out or something, I don't even know. You feel like taking any?"

Micah shook his head, a murder he could deal with...a rape not so much. He'd defended rapists before, but he'd never enjoyed keeping them out of jail.

"If I absolutely have to, I will. But I'd prefer not. Hate thinkin' bout all those pervs out and about. I'll take any other kind of case today, I don't mind. Did anybody claim that robbery case? That one I'm up for." he watched his friend pour himself some coffee. "D'ya mind pouring me some while you're at it?"

"Yeah sure. As always the Bitch was all over it. Vanessa always gets the good cases that everyone wants," the short stocky man known as Lee got Micah a mug and filled it with Chock Full of Nuts coffee, not the best kind there was but it would have to make due. "I hate her."

Micah laughed a bit, took his mug and had a nice long sip. "I don't really care for her either, but she'll get whats comin' to her. She'll be in the background one of these days."

Micah worried about Jack all day, wondering if he had a fever or if he was lying in bed all day. He loved his job; he belied in second chances and that's why he was a defense attorney, and a damn good one at that. But he would definitely be home with Jack if he could.

"Walker," Micah looked to his left and saw his boss. She was a nice looking lady, and a terrific person to work for. She had put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Is everything okay? You never drink coffee."

Micah loved that she cared about her workers, most bosses are evil people that don't care about anyone but themselves.

"Yeah, Des, thanks. Jack's home sleeping off a fever probably. I'll bring him takeaways for dinner later."

"If you need anything- days off, a vacation maybe...just let me know. I'll make arrangements for you."

Micah nodded and smiled warmly at Destiny. "Thanks again, you'll never know how much I appreciate everything you're doing for me already."