The Twists and Turns of Love
Sarah
Sarah looked at her suitcase. It was all ready. She was leaving.
She hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye to Claire the day before. She had already left for school so there was no turning back.
She regretted that fight they had so much. It had been so stupid and useless. The only thing they had accomplished was to both be sad. Sarah didn’t know why she had said also those horrible things to her friend. It was as if some other person were saying them and she couldn’t stop them. Maybe it had been the shock of her expulsion, or maybe the situation with Eric and Tim. Either way, she hated herself for having said them.
But now she had to leave. She’d call her that afternoon, to apologize and settle things.
She picked up the phone, and dialed Tim’s house number. As she heard it ringing, Sarah swallowed and took a deep breath, preparing what she was going to say to him. But he never picked up. The typical leave-your-message-after-the-beep discourse sounded.
“Hi Tim, it’s Sarah. Um, I just called to say goodbye cause I’m, uh, going to leave the city. I just thought maybe you wanted to know. Um, please call me back, well if you want to talk to me, I guess. Take care.”
After she said it, she regretted it. She sounded like such an idiot.
She grabbed her suitcase and a duffel bag and headed out the door, to the train station. The warm sun that hit felt chilly to Sarah. The flowers in a park didn’t seem so lively as always. It was as if her problem were consuming her and she couldn’t see anything positively.
Sarah stared at her street and sighed. She was going to miss that place. A lot.
At the train station, she had to wait at an endless line to get her ticket. It seemed the world was against her that day.
After buying it, she stood waiting at the doors of the train, somehow thinking Claire or Eric or Tim or someone would be there to see her off. But, of course, there was no one. Not even Claire.
Leaving in itself is sad, and doing it alone just amplifies the pain ten times. As she sat down and looked out the window at family and friends waving goodbye to others, she suddenly felt horrible. She realized it was all her fault there was no one waving lovingly to her. She had pushed them all away somehow. How hadn’t she noticed it before? It was as if she had a talent for screwing up relationships.
Well, that didn’t matter anymore. Some time would pass before she saw them again. Maybe time would heal the wounds. Although, as she thought, Sarah realized she was only fooling herself. If she wanted to make things right, she had to return and talk things out. Time doesn’t work magic.
As the train slowly started, the station started speeding by. Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw someone running towards the train. It looked like a guy. He had probably gotten their late. Sarah remembered one time she had missed the train. It had been a few years ago with Claire, when they were going to receive their scholarships. Since they had to get there on time, they had had to go by bus, which, because of the weird people that rode it, had creeped them out.
Bored, she shuffled through her duffel bag, she stopped when something caught her eye. She didn’t remember packing it. Yet there it was, jabbed between a folder and her Ipod speakers. She pulled it out slowly and sighed. The mockingbird on the cover seemed to taunt her.
As she opened the book, she kind of expected his name to be gone. It would be like he never existed, now that he was gone from her life. Yet even if all trace of him were gone, she still had the memories to haunt her.
She wished she had never been late that morning. That she had never crashed into him. But as she thought that, she knew it wasn’t true. Somehow since he had entered into her life it was as if he had filled an empty space she hadn’t even known she had. It wasn’t the first time the sight of a guy formed butterflies in her stomach, but it was the first time he felt the same. It was the first time a guy said pretty things to her.
A while back, she had had a crush on this really popular guy. But, of course, he had a girlfriend, and a cheerleader, no less. But, for some unknown reason, they broke up. Although it made her a tiny bit happier, she still wasn’t going to approach him or anything. But Claire said she would do something about it, much to Sarah’s dismay. She went to sit him one day at lunch. Of course his group let her. She was Claire. Sarah was watching, and overhearing, from a distance where she couldn’t be seen at all.
After a while of talking, Claire had popped the question.
“What do you think of Sarah?” she had asked.
“Sarah?” he asked, incredulously. “She’s, well, she’s…”
“Plain and boring,” one of his friends replied.
Sarah saw everyone at the table laugh, except Claire, of course.
“She’s nothing special. Not very pretty and not very interesting. Plain and boring, like he said.”
When she heard that, Sarah felt a horrible pain. Not physical pain, but like if someone had just ripped her heart out of her chest and was cruelly trampling all over, with a huge grin on their face.
And somehow, Sarah felt that way again, there on the train. And, as she looked, down at the book in her hand, she couldn’t help a tear slide down her cheek.
She hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye to Claire the day before. She had already left for school so there was no turning back.
She regretted that fight they had so much. It had been so stupid and useless. The only thing they had accomplished was to both be sad. Sarah didn’t know why she had said also those horrible things to her friend. It was as if some other person were saying them and she couldn’t stop them. Maybe it had been the shock of her expulsion, or maybe the situation with Eric and Tim. Either way, she hated herself for having said them.
But now she had to leave. She’d call her that afternoon, to apologize and settle things.
She picked up the phone, and dialed Tim’s house number. As she heard it ringing, Sarah swallowed and took a deep breath, preparing what she was going to say to him. But he never picked up. The typical leave-your-message-after-the-beep discourse sounded.
“Hi Tim, it’s Sarah. Um, I just called to say goodbye cause I’m, uh, going to leave the city. I just thought maybe you wanted to know. Um, please call me back, well if you want to talk to me, I guess. Take care.”
After she said it, she regretted it. She sounded like such an idiot.
She grabbed her suitcase and a duffel bag and headed out the door, to the train station. The warm sun that hit felt chilly to Sarah. The flowers in a park didn’t seem so lively as always. It was as if her problem were consuming her and she couldn’t see anything positively.
Sarah stared at her street and sighed. She was going to miss that place. A lot.
At the train station, she had to wait at an endless line to get her ticket. It seemed the world was against her that day.
After buying it, she stood waiting at the doors of the train, somehow thinking Claire or Eric or Tim or someone would be there to see her off. But, of course, there was no one. Not even Claire.
Leaving in itself is sad, and doing it alone just amplifies the pain ten times. As she sat down and looked out the window at family and friends waving goodbye to others, she suddenly felt horrible. She realized it was all her fault there was no one waving lovingly to her. She had pushed them all away somehow. How hadn’t she noticed it before? It was as if she had a talent for screwing up relationships.
Well, that didn’t matter anymore. Some time would pass before she saw them again. Maybe time would heal the wounds. Although, as she thought, Sarah realized she was only fooling herself. If she wanted to make things right, she had to return and talk things out. Time doesn’t work magic.
As the train slowly started, the station started speeding by. Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw someone running towards the train. It looked like a guy. He had probably gotten their late. Sarah remembered one time she had missed the train. It had been a few years ago with Claire, when they were going to receive their scholarships. Since they had to get there on time, they had had to go by bus, which, because of the weird people that rode it, had creeped them out.
Bored, she shuffled through her duffel bag, she stopped when something caught her eye. She didn’t remember packing it. Yet there it was, jabbed between a folder and her Ipod speakers. She pulled it out slowly and sighed. The mockingbird on the cover seemed to taunt her.
As she opened the book, she kind of expected his name to be gone. It would be like he never existed, now that he was gone from her life. Yet even if all trace of him were gone, she still had the memories to haunt her.
She wished she had never been late that morning. That she had never crashed into him. But as she thought that, she knew it wasn’t true. Somehow since he had entered into her life it was as if he had filled an empty space she hadn’t even known she had. It wasn’t the first time the sight of a guy formed butterflies in her stomach, but it was the first time he felt the same. It was the first time a guy said pretty things to her.
A while back, she had had a crush on this really popular guy. But, of course, he had a girlfriend, and a cheerleader, no less. But, for some unknown reason, they broke up. Although it made her a tiny bit happier, she still wasn’t going to approach him or anything. But Claire said she would do something about it, much to Sarah’s dismay. She went to sit him one day at lunch. Of course his group let her. She was Claire. Sarah was watching, and overhearing, from a distance where she couldn’t be seen at all.
After a while of talking, Claire had popped the question.
“What do you think of Sarah?” she had asked.
“Sarah?” he asked, incredulously. “She’s, well, she’s…”
“Plain and boring,” one of his friends replied.
Sarah saw everyone at the table laugh, except Claire, of course.
“She’s nothing special. Not very pretty and not very interesting. Plain and boring, like he said.”
When she heard that, Sarah felt a horrible pain. Not physical pain, but like if someone had just ripped her heart out of her chest and was cruelly trampling all over, with a huge grin on their face.
And somehow, Sarah felt that way again, there on the train. And, as she looked, down at the book in her hand, she couldn’t help a tear slide down her cheek.