Just Another Lovesick Boy

I stared from across the table at my mother, who sat straight and stiff in her chair as she looked down at her bowl of soup. Food codes were rather useful in this household. While spaghetti meant good news, chicken noodle soup either meant one of us was sick or one of us had bad news. I could not recall as to why some meals had certain codes or how it started but I knew they had significant meaning to our lives. I stared tiredly into my bowl before I looked back up at my mother, the smell of vegetables and chicken radiating off my hands and into my nose. I was not sure how to approach the subject without acting like the sensitive girl I knew I sometimes acted like. My mom shifted in her chair before looking up at me.

“You certainly don’t look sick,” she said simply, opening up a door for me to enter so I could tell her about my day.

I moved my mouth away from my hands, licking my lips as I did so. I folded one arm down to the edge of the table before placing my chin into the palm of my left hand. I connected the eye contact between my mother and me before I absently stirred my soup.

“I got my first kiss today,” I told her quietly.

She raised an eyebrow before sipping a spoonful of the broth. “Why do I have a feeling that this is a bad thing?”

“I didn’t want it. Do you remember the girl who attacked me with the balloons?”

“How could I forget? Was it that Cassandra girl?”

“Yeah. She had the asinine idea that kissing me would make Nara Lee her friend again.”

“What do you mean?” she asked as she blew on her soup to cool it down.

“She thought that if Nara Lee saw me kissing her, Nara Lee would get so mad that she’d eventually start talking to her again,” I explained.

My mom blinked once at me as she froze when she reached to get a drink of water. “I don’t see how that could possibly work out,” my mom said.

“That’s why it was a stupid idea,” I said as I stirred my soup around.

“Honey, why do I have the feeling that this isn’t the only thing bothering you?”

I glanced up at my mother’s concerned face before quickly looking back down. I had seen that look many times in my life and it only meant one thing: she was ready to unleash pity on me. It was bad enough that my first kiss was stolen by a disgusting monster but I just was not willing to deal with pity I knew my mother would give me once she found out that my best friend was ignoring me. Eddy had been my best and only friend since birth. I did not even want to think about how my mother would react. However, I knew my mother very well and I knew she would not stop pestering me until she knew the truth. And my mother had this disturbing ability of catching the best deceivers in a lie. I leaned forward to take a spoonful of my soup. I chewed the carrot slice slowly before answering.

“Eddy isn’t talking to me,” I answered quietly.

She looked up at me with no expression on her face. Again, because I knew her so well, I automatically knew that her blank face meant that she was surprised. She slowly put her spoon down before putting her elbows on the table and folding her hands together, mimicking my previous actions. I could feel her eyes on me as I took a long and slow sip from my glass of water.

“Why?” she asked.

“Nara Lee. I talked to Anya today and she told me that Eddy is under the impression that I’m going to abandon him for Nara.”

“Tell him you won’t,” she said without hesitation.

“There’s more,” I trailed off.

“Yes?”

“Anya said the main reason Eddy won’t talk to me is because he’s terrified he’ll be left alone again,” I said as I slowly started to slump in my chair.

“Again?”

“Like when his mom died,” I whispered as I looked away.

My mom’s posture worsened as she matched my pose by leaning down into her chair. We stared at each other in silence, the only sounds coming from the dripping in the kitchen sink and the ticking coming from the clock on the wall. I stared up at the clock without blinking. I gazed at the black clock, counting the hours that I had gone without talking to Eddy. I had spent far more hours laughing with him than away from him but at the current moment, I could not recall any of those memories. Time would go on for infinity but I knew one day, time would cease to exist for me. Would I ever have my best friend back? Or would I forever remember him as my once-was, my used-to-be? It was only when I was aware that my mom was trying to get my attention that I looked away from the clock on the wall. She glanced at the clock in worry after I finally looked at her.

“Do you want me to talk to Thomas?”

“No. Eddy will come around,” I said, trying to convince myself more than her.

“What makes you think that he’s the one that needs to come around?” she asked me seriously.

I stared up at her, not exactly sure what she meant or how her words impacted me. I licked my lips as I tried to figure out my own emotions. I attempted to swallow whatever was left in my throat to eliminate the feeling of dryness that suddenly overcame me. I sniffed once as I stared over at my mom before the doorbell rang. Out of habit, we both glanced up at the clock to see what time it was and who would be bothering us at the current hour. Realizing it was still daylight and people tend to walk about in daylight, she nodded at me. I sighed lightly before pushing myself away from the table. I walked to the front area and opened the door to be greeted with a huge hug. I blinked once before patting the person on the back. Cecilia pulled away with her usual large grin donning her face, her large green eyes blinking down on me.

“I hope we’re not interrupting,” she smiled.

“We’re having dinner, but I made a lot if you want to join,” I shrugged as I opened the door wider.

Jack smirked down at me as he followed Cecilia, who skipped past me into the house. He ruffled my hair roughly, an action he probably did not even know – or cared - that I extremely hated. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw in frustration. I let out a drawn out sigh before slowly closing the door and turning back to go into the dining room. My mom gave me an inquisitive look as she peered over Cecilia’s shoulder as she hugged her. I shrugged at her before walking through the room so I could get to the kitchen. I silently grabbed two extra bowls from the cupboard and poured in the soup. I carried the bowls into the room and placed them on the table before sitting back at my place at the end of the table. Jack, who had been laughing at something Cecilia said, paused when he noticed where I sat.

“I think you’re in my spot, son,” he said slowly.

“I think you’re wrong, Jack,” I replied just as slowly before eating a spoonful of my soup.

He slightly leaned towards me, carefully keeping notice of the calm hand Cecilia placed on his arm. “I don’t know what makes you think that, son, considering I’m the man here.”

“Well, last time I checked, I’ve been the man of the house ever since you decided to be an asshole and leave. My house, my spot.”

Jack narrowed his eyes at me before ripping his arm away from Cecilia. She reached out desperately as he took the few steps toward me. Jack grasped my shoulder and roughly pulled me up before pushing me against the wall. I glared up at Jack’s angry eyes as we both ignored the loud yelling coming from my mom and Cecilia.

“You need to learn when to keep your mouth shut, boy,” he growled.

“And you need to learn your place, boy,” I snarled back.

Jack let out a familiar animalistic growl before it happened. Deep down, I knew I should have watched my tongue, but I could not help but let out some of my frustrations. Jack just so happened to be the person I would let it out on and I was the one who had to pay the price. I did not bother to break eye contact with Jack as I noticed from my peripheral vision that his fist was reeling back. I did not bother to even blink as his fist made contact with my face. Of course, my head twisted away but I made sure to glare up at him after I fell to the floor. He looked down at me in shock, his hand still clenched in a fist. Cecilia was pulling him away from me and my mother quickly rushed forward to kneel down by my side. She pulled me up, gently touching at my eye. I winched at her touch as I glared over at Jack.

“Nice to see absolutely nothing has changed with you, Jack. No surprise there,” I scoffed.

I shook my head angrily as I shook my arm away from my mother’s grasp. I stomped up the stairs before walking into my room and slamming the door. I paced back and forth in my room, tugging at my hair, as the familiar sounds of yelling floated up the stairs. I let out a frustrated yell as I threw a baseball at the wall. I threw myself angrily on my bed before closing my eyes and taking deep breaths through my nose. I laid there in silence, tuning out all the yells, for what seemed like hours. I did not bother to open my eyes when I heard my bedroom door open. The comforting scent of my mother’s perfume filled the room as I felt my bed dip as she sat down. She placed a cool hand on top of mine.

“My darling boy,” she sighed quietly. “I so regret all these things that happen to you. If I could, I would change almost everything about your life. You don’t deserve this. All these things Jack does and all that I allow him to do keep damaging you further and further.”

“Then why don’t you make him go away?” I whispered as I turned my head to the wall.

“He was my first love, Adrian. I can’t ignore that. And I know he can’t either. I fear he and I are destined to slowly destroy each other for the rest of our lives.”

“I won’t let him, Mama. He’s not destroying us; I’ll make sure of it.”

“And that’s what makes me so sad, Adrian. I’m the mother here. I’m supposed to take care of my child,” she said silently, her hand shaking.

“And you’re my mom. I’m supposed to take care of you, too.”

“We’re going to be alright, aren’t we?”

“We were destined to live without him. We’ve been doing fine this far, we can keep going.”

“If you want to drop out of the wedding, it’s okay.”

“What about Cecilia?”

“Honey, you can’t live life trying to please others. The choice is yours.”

“One more chance, that’s all I’m giving him,” I said before I stared at the wall in silence. She stroked the skin around my eye before moving up to push my hair back. She continued that for a few moments before standing.

“Well, they left. I’ll get you an ice pack. Do you want me to bring up your soup?” she asked.

“I’m not hungry anymore,” I replied as I shook my head.

She quietly left the room before she returned quickly with a small bag of ice wrapped in a towel. I gingerly placed the pack to my face, wincing at the sudden chill. I lied on my bed in silence for a few moments before getting up to walk out of my room and into the bathroom. I placed my hands on the counter and gripped the edge until my knuckles turned white. I could already see a bruise forming on my left eye. I grimaced at the dark shading around my eye. I would not have minded if my right eye was bruised. In that case, I could simply cover my eye with my hair and nobody would ever know. But in my case, I had to walk around in public with my black eye for all to see. I would have to go to school, where inquisitive teachers and students would be persistent in their questioning of what happened. I glared at my reflection before my face crumpled in defeat.

It was times like this when I really needed Eddy. But this was the first time he was not there for me.