Just Another Lovesick Boy

The sound of the heart monitor next to Free’s bed proved to be too much for Eddy to handle. We were only there for another few minutes when Eddy abruptly stood up and walked out the room. After kissing Free’s hand and pushing her hair back, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and followed Eddy out. Though I expected him to be standing with his dad, I was surprised to see that instead he was talking urgently with the nurse at the desk. I glanced over at my mom who shrugged once as she held Mr. Devereux’s hand comfortingly. When I walked over to the desk, I only caught half of what the nurse was saying.

“…any visitors but even if he did, he is in a very delicate condition. Now is not a good time for you to go see him,” the nurse said gently.

“But I hit that guy,” Eddy said in a thick voice. “That guy’s dying because of me.”

“Oh, no, sweetheart,” the nurse shook her head. “It was nobody’s fault, especially not yours. Just calm down. Take a deep breath.”

“Miss, I need to see him. I have to say I’m sorry.”

The nurse pursed her lips as she hesitantly thought about. She glanced over at me and I nodded once before patting Eddy on the shoulder. She sighed lightly before turning in her chair to stand up.

“He is in room 527,” the nurse told us as she pointed down the hall. “Go down this hall, turn left and it’ll be the third room on the right. Be no more than ten minutes, okay, Edward?”

“Yes, miss,” Eddy sniffed once before grabbing my arm to pull me with him as he walked down the hall.

After I turned around to give a nod to my mom, I leaned forward to whisper in Eddy’s ear. “Eddy, what the hell are you doing?”

“I need to talk to him, Age, I have to.”

“No. No, you don’t,” I urged. “Ed, you have to rest.”

“No resting for me, man. Not until I talk to this guy and say sorry.”

“Ed. Eddy, Eddy, Eddy,” I took a few quick steps forward so I could stand in front of him and stop him in the middle of the hallway. “I want you to stop and think for a few moments.”

“I can’t, Adrian, not now,” Eddy tried to push me away but I held him down tightly.

“Dude, you’re about to burst into a dying man’s room all hysterical. Are you sure that’s what he needs right now? No. I need you to calm down, figure out what exactly you’re going to tell this guy, and then I’ll gladly let you go. But I can’t let you into that guy’s room, not while you’re like this, man.”

Eddy glared at me slightly before nodding. He leaned against the wall and gently slapped himself on the face a few times before he leaned his head back to close his eyes. I stood in front of him, studying his face as he took in a few deep breaths. His blue eyes jerked open before he looked at me.

“I’m going to tell him that I’m sorry that we both weren’t paying attention to the road and everything is okay and both me and Free are fine and we don’t blame him and everything is cool. Is that good?”

“Sounds good, man,” I nodded.

Eddy nodded slowly before letting out a shaky sigh and straightening out. A quick glance over at him as we stood in front of room 527 let me know exactly how important this was for Eddy. Though I could see the nervousness in his face, I could also see the determination in his eyes. I nudged at him gently with my shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile before he nodded, knocked twice on the door, and opened the door. The both of us took only a few steps inside the room and with only one glance at the bed, we froze.

It was not the amount of casts we saw that made us froze. Nor was it the blood stained bandages or the amount wires protruding from his body. It was not the amount of machines around him keeping him alive. And it was not the lack of other patients or visitors in the room. It was his face.

There were very few places and people that Eddy saw that I had not seen as well. So when I recognized the man on the bed in front of us, I knew that Eddy knew who he was, too. I glanced nervously at Eddy before quickly grabbing his wrist. Eddy’s eyes were wide and he never looked away from the bed.

When Eddy’s mom passed away, there had to be a session in court because the man who hit her car was intoxicated while driving. The sessions did not last long but it was enough to make an impression on Eddy. It took all we had for Mr. Devereux, my mom, and I to keep Eddy calm. I think out of the entire experience, the one thing Eddy would never forget was the man who killed his mom. And sure enough, Eddy did recognize the man on the hospital bed.

I could hear Eddy take multiple short and panicked breaths. I was about to turn to calm him down when he wrenched his wrist out of my grip and turned around. Eddy was almost out of the room when a voice softly called out.

“You look just like your mom,” the voice said in a raspy voice.

Eddy froze in the doorway before we both slowly turned around. Michael Idlett had turned his head to look in our direction but I knew that all of his attention was completely on Eddy. Mr. Idlett shifted gently on his bed and cleared his throat.

“Edward, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. These doctors have no idea how loud they can be so I heard how badly your little sister is doing,” he said. “I am so terribly sorry. I’ve brought so much pain upon your family.”

“Yeah, you did,” Eddy confirmed.

“Eddy!” I said sharply.

“He killed my mom, Adrian,” Eddy insisted.

“He said he was sorry. He went to jail.”

“I can’t be as fucking forgiving as you obviously can, Age.”

“I’m not asking for forgiveness,” Mr. Idlett interrupted. “I have said sorry but I don’t expect you to accept my apologies. I took your mom away from you and I hurt your little sister. I understand how you wouldn’t forgive me.”

“Eddy,” I whispered as I turned around to look at him.

“What, Adrian?” Eddy snapped.

I glanced back at Mr. Idlett before taking a few quick steps towards Eddy. I leaned in close to him, noticing the shine in his eyes and the furrow between his brows. “The man is dying. Are you really going to let him die with all this hatred towards him?”

“Do you want me to lie and say I forgive him?” he asked me angrily.

“I want you to hear him out. You were a kid when you first saw him in court but you’re grown up now. Just listen to whatever he has to say.”

Eddy glared down at me before heavily sighing. He flicked at his finger cast before nodding once and walking over to Mr. Idlett’s bed. He threw himself down into the lone chair and tapped at the arm a few times. “So,” Eddy said, “do you have anything else you want to say?”

“I didn’t get to say anything like this in court so thank you for letting me say this now,” Mr. Idlett smiled gently. “Your mom was very beautiful.”

“Yeah, she was.”

“She reminded me of my wife.”

“Yeah? So where is she?”

“She died. A long time ago. Her and my little girl.”

Eddy paused for a moment. His head turned in my direction before he turned back. “What happened?”

“I was working the night shift. She didn’t want me to but I did. And one morning, I came home from work and I found them. Somebody came in during the night to steal a few things, my wife fought back, and they killed her. Then they found my daughter and killed her, too.”

“Did they get the people who did it?” Eddy asked.

Mr. Idlett went silent before turning his head away and answered, “No. They didn’t.”

I could feel myself trembling with Mr. Idlett’s remark. We knew next to nothing about the man. We were offered no insight about his life before the accident and lived with blind hatred toward him ever since it happened. I had absolutely no idea that he too had his own tragedies. Which was pure ignorance on my part. I was foolish to believe that just Eddy’s family suffered. Mr. Idlett was the one who had to live with those deaths on his mind.

“After my wife, Vanessa, and my daughter, Morgan, passed away, I couldn’t handle it. I got depressed. Started working overtime and drinking a lot so I wouldn’t think about the pain. Not a good thing, especially those two together. So one night after work, I went drinking and I got drunk. And then next thing I knew, I hit a car.

“I really did consider keeping on going. Pretend it never happened. And I hope God will forgive me for even thinking that. But I did stop. I got out of the car and I stumbled on over and I saw your mom. Prettiest lady I had ever seen, besides my girls. She looked fine. Until I looked in through the window and saw the blood.”

Eddy took a sudden sharp breath. I knew this had to be insanely hard for him to hear but I could not interfere. These were things that Eddy needed to hear. This was possibly the only time ever that he would hear this side of the story.

“She didn’t say a word at first. Just held out her hand as she leaned her head down on the wheel. And I held her hand for a minute before she started speaking.”

“What did she say?” Eddy asked softly.

Mr. Idlett turned his head to give Eddy a soft smile. “She told me that I had the same color hair as her daughter. That we’re both daffodil-heads.”

Eddy choked out a laugh before nodding. “I forgot how Mom called Free and Dad daffodil-heads.”

“Yeah. She said her baby girl looked just like her daddy.”

“She does,” Eddy confirmed.

“I knew she was thinking about you all. So all I could say how sorry I was for hurting her so badly.” Mr. Idlett paused to take a deep breath as the tears ran down his face.

“Did…” Eddy trailed off before clearing his throat. “Did she say anything else?”

“Yeah. She said her daughter looked just like her husband. But her little girl acted just like her little boy. So seeing my blond hair made her feel like her entire family was with her one last time.”

Eddy sniffed once and I could hear him crying as he paused. He wiped at his face before speaking again. “Did she really say that?”

“She did. And all I could say was how sorry I was. And she told me that it was okay because she lived a good life and couldn’t ask for more.”

“And?”

“And she said a little prayer and said was going to wait for you all in a very nice Someplace.”

Eddy leaned forward in his seat to put his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. I closed my eyes and I felt the tears streaming down my face as Eddy cried. I wiped at my nose and was about to take a step forward when the machines near Mr. Idlett started beeping noisily. Once he started coughing and blood started to spill out of the corners of his mouth, I knew at once that he did not have very long.

Eddy quickly shot forward to grab ahold of his hand. “I’m sorry,” he cried. “I am so sorry.”

Mr. Idlett glazed over eyes stared at Eddy. “You have the same blue eyes as Vanessa. And Morgan was like a mini version of her. So it’s like they’re with me.” He paused for a second before saying, “I bear you no ill will for this.”

“And I don’t hate you,” Eddy insisted. “And I forgive you for everything that’s happened.”

“Thank you,” Mr. Idlett smiled.

He coughed a few more times and as the blood splattered out from his mouth, I turned around to call a nurse from the doorway. While the nurses and doctors rushed in and pushed us out of the room, I tried to pull Eddy out as fast as I could. But I was not fast enough because before we were through the door, we could hear the constant sound of the flat line on the heart monitor. Eddy and I turned at the same time and froze in the hallway just in time before the door close to see the doctors and nurses slowly yet surely pull away and look at each other.

Eddy panted heavily before he turned on his heel, tugged at his hair, and stumbled down the hallway. I followed behind him, my arms reaching out to catch him if he fell. We turned down to where Free’s room was at to find that Mom and Mr. Devereux were missing, presumably inside the room. It seemed like a million years before we reached the small row of chairs a few rooms down from Free’s room. I sat Eddy down before sitting down next to him. Eddy continued to tug at his hair before I pulled his hands away and wrapped an arm around him.

He turned in his seat so he could wrap his arms around me and cry into my shoulder. I tried to swallow the large lump in the middle of my throat but I still find it hard to breathe and keep my composure. I pushed Eddy’s hair back before wrapping my arms tightly around him. His heavy shaking and deep breathing in between sobs were almost too much for me to handle. I had not seen him like this since Mrs. Devereux had passed away. It was just too painful, for both of us.

“The world is evil, Adrian. People get hurt and people die and it’s not fair,” Eddy cried.

“No,” I answered. “It’s not fair at all.”